Smash Into You

Chapter 11: Gravity

The drives in the morning which used to be so lively and talkative, slowly grew silent. What used to be the highlight of my day morphed into a nightmare, which was an agonizing 25 minutes. I was slowly losing my mind. I couldn't handle the awkwardness for such a long time period, especially if it was every day.

Thing is, we couldn't bring ourselves to mention it. We couldn't sit here and say to the other, "Hey... what the hell is happening to us? We used to be so cool and now it's so uncomfortable." I don't know what it was. It's like we had an silent agreement, beneath the surface that we wouldn't mention for both of our sakes.

The longer we remained silent about it, the worse it became. It was a burden that was almost too heavy to bear, feeding on our attempts to ignore it. Even as we felt the weight of it drag us down, we still didn't bring it up.

Hopeless.

This was hopeless.

"Um," Lauren spoke softly from the passenger seat, "I have something happening this Friday so... just in case you wanted to plan something- Well I just wanted to tell you now."

"Alright."

It was one word. Just one, but my tone gave it all away. I knew it did because Lauren took the time to look over at me, which hasn't happened in a while. Another thing we got into a habit of doing was avoiding any form of eye contact and physical contact.

Her stare felt like fire, but I forced myself to look forward and ignore it. I wasn't going to sit here and drag myself over silly things anymore. Because it was obvious Lauren had better things to do and I just... was tired of expecting it all to change and watching as it only grew worse.

After a while she turned and stared out the window. For a moment silence fell again, but to both of our surprise Lauren spoke again, "None of this is on purpose Camila..."

I clenched my jaw. It was a claim she continuously stated. A claim I always assured her I believed. But, I just wasn't having it today. With a bland tone, I answered, "Okay."

"Maybe next Friday?" She offered.

I was losing my patience, but for the sake of her feelings and my sanity I simply gritted my teeth and bit out, "Yeah, maybe next Friday."

Lauren then began to play with her fingers, a nervous tick of hers, falling back into her usual silence. I was grateful we reached her building before she could say another word, because I swore one more word from her would cause me to flip out. She slid out of the car, grabbing the coffee I handed her.

For a moment, she continued to bend down into the door, looking at me. I simply looked ahead, not giving her any signs that I knew she was still standing there. Seconds past, and when she finally gave up, she mumbled a goodbye.

I only nodded and drove off as soon as she slammed the car door.

X

Friday rolled around and I had chosen to spend it with Lucy. We were at central park because she loved being out and about the city. The second date was at the aquarium, which we had gone on the next day after our first date. I wasn't paying attention, but I think this was either the fourth or fifth time I was spending time with her now. Her dog, which was this monster of a thing, was practically running from one end of the park to the other in 10 strides.

I strolled on the sidewalk next to Lucy as Thor, the Alaskan malamute, continued to entertain himself. We hadn't talked for a bit, but not a second later did she turn to me with a small smile, "What have you been up to lately?"

I shrugged with a smile of my own, "Nothing much. Work, reading, and movies. Actually I started writing again. Nothing fancy, some song lyrics here and there."