Zoe shuts the door behind us and I am engulfed in loud music and voices, I'm surprised no one has called security on them. The usual Youtube crew is there, Alfie, Marcus, Naomi, Connor, Tyler, Louise, Joe, Jim, Tanya, Joey, Louis, and Caspar.
I hear loud laughter in my left ear, immediately identifying it, I turn around and pull Tyler into a huge hug, my head rests on his shoulder, and I exhale a bit. Maybe I won't make a fool of myself
"Jillian!" he giggles, "I have missed you so much, though I saw you last weekend," he stared off into space obviously already hammered.
I grab his arm and interlink it with mine, he smiles down at me "thanks, girl," I nod and we walk to the couch and I set him down. I begin to sit down when Tyler nudges me with his foot and I fall onto the lap of Joey Graceffa, I could feel my tan face growing red.
"Oh my god! Joey, I'm so so so sorry, God I am such a klutz, I am probably the worlds clumsiest person!" I began, also trying to stand but can't find a footing, he then picked up my waist and gave me a hug. Shocked I turn my head to look at him, "Jillian, it is so amazing to meet you. Shoot girl, it's not a big deal, I am a huge klutz myself. The first time I met Alfie I tripped at his feet. "I sit there utterly wordless until I realize I'm still sitting in this god-like man's lap.
I stand up and look back at Joey, "I really am so so sorry, and I love your videos. It was awesome meeting you," talking too quickly I take off to the bathroom.
I shut the door and rack my brain for being so stupid, god Jillian everything was going great then you had to trip and fall, you are ruining everything you always do. Tears begin to slip from my eyes and then I hear a knock on the door."One second" I yell wiping the fallen tears from my cheeks.
"Jilly?" I hear Troye's adorable accent through the door, I quickly open the door and let him in before shutting the door again. He looks at me and frowns, "why are you crying, honey," he wraps me into a hug.
"I just- I want everyone to like me and to accept me, but I just fell in Joey's lap, and I know I'll do something else embarrassing. God why did I even come, I ruin everything. I should just go home because I'm probably going to ruin everyone's night," by the time I finish I am hyperventilating.
"Jillian, sweetie, just breathe. You need to breathe. In and out, in and out" I make shaky breathes following his counting, "just like that. That's it, Jilly," he is holding me in a hug rubbing small circles on my back, "that's it, I got you."
We stand there for a while until there a few small knocks at the door, "Hello Troye," I hear a familiar British accent speak, "are you okay, it's Louise. I'm worried, you've been in there for awful long." he lets go of his grip around me, leaving me cold. I wipe the remaining salt streaks from face and nod at Troye to let Louise in.
Troye opens the door and shoos Louise inside, "oh Troye, you alrigh-" but she cut off mid sentence and made eye contact with me. "Jillian? Why are you crying?" she walked past Troye and approached me. I had never met Louise before so this is a lovely meeting, "um, hi Louise," I manage to squeak out, "nice to meet you."
"Jillian," she spoke again, "why are you crying?"
I clear my throat stopping the tears, I learned that trick online, "I am just having some bad anxiety that's all," she gives me a small smile and a hug.
"That's alright, don't worry. It happens to Zoe and I understand,"
"Thank you," I say. I walk to the mirror and decide to access the mess that is my face, my blue eyes look like glass against my tear filled eyes and wet mascara. I attempt to dry off my eyelashes without smearing my mascara anymore. Louise offers me a makeup wipe to clean up the streaks. "Thank you, again," I breathe out happily accepting the wipe.
I finish trying to fix my face, it's as good as it's gonna get. Everyone is hammered anyways.
Louise leaves the bathroom before me and Troye. I breathe out and breathe in, counting my breath, Troye gives my hand a small squeeze and we exit the bathroom into the hotel room.
Zoe runs up to us and smiles, "Hey where have you guys been, we are just about to play spin the bottle," she nudges Troyes arm and gives him a wink.
"I don't know," Troye spoke and turned down his head to look at me, "we can play Troye, it's fine." a weak smile makes its way onto my lips, and he squeezes my hand again as we sit down in the circle of youtubers.
