****This is taking place during the previous chapter (when Jillian is having lunch with Joey)*****
Troye POV
I adjust my beanie and jog to the Café on the corner, I push open the door and wait in the line in front of the counter, the coffee place is called 'Steamin'. I drum my fingers against my leg and decide to text Zoe to tell her I'm here, Chandelier was playing on the intercom and I was whispering the lyrics to myself and doing a small dance.
"Sir?" I look up and the barista is waving at me to order.
"Sorry," I mumble and order a coffee and chocolate chip pancakes for me and a caffeine-free tea and raspberry pancakes for Zoe. I attempt to balance the tray and walk to a small table in the corner of the dining area. I set the tray down and put Zoe's food on the other side of the table, a large pink carnation is in the middle of the table, it is the cutest little Café to be honest. I begin to spread butter on my pancakes before I see Zoe's little body bouncing down the pavement, she saw me and gave me a wide grin and a wave through the window, before scurrying inside the Café and half-ran to me with her arms open wide, "TROYYYEEE!" she giggled, and wrapped her arms around me squeezing me tight.
"Zoe, hi, come sit. I bought you pancakes," I gestured to her steaming food, and she smiled and squeaked, "Ah thank you Troye."
Zoe's nimble hands grabbed her silverware and began to cut up the small pancakes and put a piece in her mouth, "so Troye-Boy," she swallowed her food, "what did you need to talk to me about?"
Well I really like Jillian and that is crazy right, but I mean she is perfect. So beautiful, kind, caring, and loving, she makes me laugh until I pee. Her smiles light up the room, and she can always make everyone feel better. She loves all of her fans, she is just so perfect.
I take a slice of food in my mouth, "I kind of really like somebody." I mumble, Zoe's head tilts to the side, "I'm sorry?" Her accent spoke.
I swallow my food and decide to not be so scared, Zoe will never judge me. "I like someone," I croak, that wasn't very confident Troye.
Zoe's eyes perk open and her eyebrows raise, "oh my god spill!" she jumps in her seat.
"They aren't like most people I like," I explain. Zoe's eyebrows furrow as she thinks, "what do you mean Troye?" she asks. "I... I kind of like another Youtuber." I lower my head, she squeaks with joy, "oh my god Troye!! Who is it?! Is it Tyler?" She giggles squeezing my hand that lay on the table. "No," I confidently said. My hearts pounding against my ribs and I can hear each individual beat, my palms are moist with sweat and I can't help but nervously shake my leg. "It'sJillian." I whisper into my hand, "I'm sorry what did you say, honey?" she shooed my hand from my face, "I said it's Jillian," I can feel my ears turning red, my cheeks following behind. Zoe's jaw nearly drops to the floor, "Troye, is this a prank?" She hesitantly asked but I saw the look on her face and she knew I wasn't.
"I really like her, more than I've liked any guy. She is so beautiful not that I care about looks, she's kind, caring, and loving, and god how she makes me laugh. Her smiles lights up the room and her laugh is contagious, and I can't help but smile when I see her. She's so gentle and caring to all of her fans and she loves children. I can't think of anyone I'd rather be with." I sigh out of my romantic high, and look at Zoe she is smiling. "Troye!!" she squeals in a high pitched aw-like noise.
"That is the cutest thing I've ever heard, and I am so happy you found someone.... But I have a question?" Zoe shyly asks, "What?" I reply.
"Are you bisexual or pansexual? Because if you plan to pursue a relationship with Jillian, you might have to like re-come out, ya know?" Zoe shrugs her shoulder and takes a sip of her tea. "I guess your right Zoe. And I don't know, all I know is I'm Troye and I like Jillian, and I want to be with her." I finish my meal, and drink my coffee. "Well Troye I think you should go for it. Fuck what everyone thinks, if you truly like her go get her. And I feel like you really do. I know you, and you wouldn't be this love-struck over a simple crush" Zoe ate her last bite of pancake and we stood up, "I do, I really like her. I can't imagine not being with her." We walk to the hotel together and we depart at the lobby.
"Good luck," Zoe kisses me on the cheek and gives me a tight hug, "Bye Zo, love you, and thank you again so much." I start the short journey to Jillian's room, "I am going to make this work," I say to myself as I stand outside her door. I hear a male voice from inside the room and the bed springs squeaking, I recognize the voice as Joey's and let out a breath of relief, there is nothing going on between them. Okay so I'm going to ask Jillian out to dinner, wherever she wants to go and then at dinner I'll tell her that I really like her and I want to go on a real date. Its sounds cliché but I'll make it way more romantic. I grab the room key out of my pocket and open the door. I walk in and then I see it. Joey is on top of Jillian with his tongue in her mouth, she is only wearing a bra and he's grinding his dick against her, her skirt hiked up showing her underpants. He still had his pants on but I feel like I'm going to be sick, my heart was shattering like glass in my chest. Tears begin to spill out my eyes and cut against my cheek, tears of pain and heartache, "I'm so sorry," I sob, and run out of the room. I hear Jillian yell, "Troye wait!" but I wasn't stopping, I ran and ran until I ran out of hallway to run, I found an open custodian closet and climbed in and began to sob into my hands. My shoulders shook against the wall I was leaning my back on, my legs were crisscross like a child's because I was sobbing like one. Cries wracked through my body as I wailed out in pain. I have been hurt before and nothing can compare to this. This hurt more than a knife could, I didn't know that one person could ever make you feel like this. I hear a voice through the door, "hola chico, qué es malo?" Crap I knew I should've taken Spanish in high school. I open the door letting a small silver of light before saying one of the few phrases I knew in Spanish,
"no hablo español," my Australian accent made it sound even worse, I decided to open the door completely. I peak my head out the side of the door, there stood Jillian and her big blue eyes. "Troye." she breathes and grabs me into a hug, she lays her head on my chest and I put my head on top of hers inhaling the smell of her hair, it smelled like flowers. "I know you don’t know Spanish so I figured you'd fall for it." She holds my shoulders, "honey, why are you crying?" She brushed her thumb against my cheekbone. "It's um, because..." I bite my lip, "I just am lonely, ya know? I don't have a boyfriend and you are one of my only single friends. And around you I don't feel like I'm so lonely because we can be together." I half-lie through my teeth she does make me feel happy and whole. Like I could never be alone ever again, she smiles up at me. "Troye don't worry you are the cutest and hottest, may I add, guy I know, trust me any guy would be lucky to have you," she kisses me on the cheek. She grabs my hand, "let’s go to your room we can get ready for the panels and just hang out." We walk to the elevator, then to the hotel room, my mind and heart still numb.
I don't want any guy I want you.
