The Secret Daughter

Chapter 23

Julie

Sa totoo lang kanina pa ako walang naiintindihan sa binabasa ko, bakit? Paano ako makakapagconcentrate sa binababasa ko kung palagi kong napapansin si Coach Lea na hindi mapakali. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero tuwing gagalaw siya ay napupukaw ang atensyon ko patungo sa kanya.

Simula nang magising ako nang magpaalam si Daddy na kailangan niyang bumalik sa Alabang at nakita ko siya doon ko napagtanto na siya ang magiging bantay ko ngayong araw, I said to myself that 'this day would be awkward' and I was right. This day was awkward. Pagkalabas ni Daddy isang nakakabinging katahimikan ang sumalubong sa amin, kung hindi niya ako tatanungin kung meron ba akong gusto kainin, kung nauuhaw ako at kung ano-ano pa ay walang imikan ang nangyayari kung tutuusin tanging ingay lang ng mga gamit na kinukuha niya, ingay na nagmula sa cellphone at ang pagbubuklat ko sa susunod na pahina ng librong binabasa ko ang maririnig mo sa kwartong ito.

"Co—coach" nauutal kong sambit dahilan para mapatingin siya kaagad sa akin.

"Yes, anak, do you need something? Gusto mo bang kumain o –"

"Wala po akong kailangan at lalong wala akong gustong kainin" naiiritang pagputol ko sa sasabihin niya, she asked me this a couple of times today, sino ang hindi maiirita? I sighed "Look Ma'am" I said to sound formal "I know how busy person you are but really you don't have to do this" "I'm fine, maybe I can't use the half of my hands, and the half of my feet but I am fine. I will be fine kaya wala po kayong dapat ipag-aala kaya ko na po ang sarili ko" sambit ko at ngitian siya "My mother raised me to be a fighter after all"

I saw her smiled, a smile but her eyes says other the other thing. Sadness.

At dun ko napagtanto ang sinabi ko. My eyes widen and look at her smile, did I just hit a spot somewhere? I think I did since I saw a tear escape on her eyes before she looks at the other direction.

"I—I'm sorry. I didn't mean to –"

"Alam ko and you don't have to say sorry about what you just said kasi totoo yun, I just gave birth of you, but Charlotte raised you to be the young lady yo—you are right now" she said as her voice breaks "Julie, anak" she said as she went near to me "Alam kong marami akong pagkukulang sa'yo. Alam kong hindi sapat yung paghingi ko ng sorry para punan ang lahat ng pagkukulang na iyon at higit sa lahat –" she paused and get my left hand, since my right isn't free because I am wearing sling that is used to support my hands "Hi—Hindi ko siya mapapalitan" she said as she sniffed "Kailanman hindi ko mapapalitan yung pinagsamahan niyo, yung mga alaala mo na kasama siya, yung pag-aalalaga at pag-aaruga niya" she said as I saw a tear escaped in her eyes "Pero anak, sana bigyan mo rin ako ng pagkakataon na ipakita at iparamdaman sa'yo kung gaaano kita kamahal, alam kong mahirap para sa'yo ito, alam kong mahirap na patawarin mo ko pero please Julie, bigyan mo ko kahit kunting puwang sa puso mo, kahit kunti lang anak para maipakita ko naman kung gaano kita kamahal"

For a moment, I was stoned on my seat as I was realizing everything she just said, after a few seconds, I smiled, a bitter one as I get my hand, nakita ko siyang ngumiti, ngiting may halong lungkot sa mga mata niya. Looks like she expected this to happen.

"Alam kong pagod ka na, Julie" she said and smile at me as she stands up "Magpahinga ka na and I promise the moment you wake up hindi ka na mapipilitan na makita ako" sambit niya as she caress my face "I'm glad you grew up the lady I want you to be" she said and smile at me as she get her hands off me "I already called your Dad, he'll be here in a few. Matitiis mo pa naman na makasama ako dito ng ilang minute diba?"

I was caught off guard because of her question kaya hindi ako nakasagot agad dahilan para makita ko siyang ngumiti, ngiti na puno ng lungkot bago niya ako tinalikuran. I formed my left hand on a fist, bit my lip as I saw her slowly stepping forward as she head to the comfort room as I try to stop my tears from falling down and after that day, hindi ko na siya nakita ulit.