Silhouette of the Past

Chapter 4

AN: The video attached here really reflects Margarette's feelings. Listen to it while reading if you want. Or you may do it separately. Enjoy!

I felt his hands caressing my face. Napamulat ako. He smiled tenderly at me. Natatawa niyang pinindot ang ilong ko. Tinampal ko nang mahina ang kamay niya.

"Good morning, beautiful." he chuckled.

Agad akong napangiti. "Good morning." tila nahihiya kong bati sa kanya habang ina-adjust ang kumot sa aking katawan.

I spent the night with him but don't get me wrong. Nothing happened between us. We just spent the night talking. About us, our plans and our future. We talked about a lot of things, nakatulugan ko nalang ang pag-uusap namin.

"Don't you think Cebu is too crowded for us to start a family here?" napatingin ako sa kanya nang bigla syang magsalita. "I think mas maganda kung sa Bantayan tayo tumira. The calming sound of the waves, white sand, blue waters. Isn't it heaven?" narinig kong sambit nya habang hinigpitan nya ang yakap sa aking baywang sabay gawad ng halik sa noo ko.

"Bantayan? Bakit ayaw mo dito? Paano ang magiging negosyo natin in the future?"

Narinig ko syang tumawa. Kinalas nya ang pagkakayakap sa akin at itinukod nya ang kanang kamay sa unan habang pinaglalaruan nya ang hibla ng buhok ko.

"Well, I just want to live a simple life with you. A peaceful one na malayo sa magulong mundo dito sa syudad. We can start our own business there." tinignan nya ako sa mata na tila puno ng pangarap.

Those eyes. I still fell for those every single day. I can see myself drowning with those beautiful orbs.

"Hmmm. Pwede naman tayong magpatayo ng contruction business natin doon eh, diba? I'll be Engineer Margarette Alexia Lopez and we'll create our own legacy there." nakangiting sambit ko.

I can see it already. My future with him. Him holding my hand every sunrise and sunset as we walk down the sands of Bantayan Island making our dreams come true one by one, slowly.

Bigla syang sumimangot. "Bakit? Anong problema?" I asked worriedly.

"No, that's not gonna happen."

Naumid ang dila ko. Did I read his actions wrong? Was I too fast? Was I too clingy already?

Kinuha nya ang kaliwa kong kamay at itinaas sa ere. He held my ring finger with his thumb and index finger.

"You will be Engineer Margarette Alexia Lopez-Lim. The beautiful wife of Architect Justine Jervin Lim. Happy anniversary, shom."

At bago pa ako makapagsalita, itinapat nya na nang banayad ang kanyang labi sa labi ko stopping me from further talking.

He stared at me with love and admiration na tila lumulobo ang puso ko sa saya. Na tila ako lang ang pinaka magandang nilalang na nakikita niya.

He nuzzled on my neck and hugged me so tight parang natatakot syang mawala ako sa kanya.

I just smiled and hugged him back. God, I love this person.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Napabalikwas ako ng bangon. Sweat dripping from my forehead. A dream.

That dream. I dreamed about him again.

Ilang beses ko na bang napanaginipan ang ala-alang yun? Ngunit ni minsan hindi naibsan ang sakit na nadarama ko tuwing magigising ako sa katotohanang hanggang pangarap at panaginip na lamang iyon.

The pain is still there. Gnawing at my insides, eating me slowly.

Hanggang kailan ba ako ganito? Was I still hoping despite all the pain?

Hanggang kailan ako magiging sunod sunuran sa mga ala-alang pilit kong ibinaon sa limot.

I felt that same punch in the gut. Ang parang kamay na pumipiga sa puso ko, andyan na naman. Tila nahihirapan na naman akong huminga. Waves of memories crashing on me that my eyes welled up with tears.

Pero bago pa ako makaiyak, naputol ang pagbabalik tanaw ko sa nakaraan nang nag ring ulit ang cellphone ko.

Stella Lorenzi-Lopez.

Napakunot noo ako nang makita ko ang caller ID sa cellphone. Why is she calling me?

"Stella, anong kailangan mo?" I asked her coldly as I pick up the call.

"Margarette, your dad wants you to come home." malumanay nyang sagot sa akin.

I scoffed. Home? Do I have a home? How dare he ask me that and expect me to board a plane pronto after everything that happened?

"I am home." mapait kong tugon.

I heared her sigh bitterly. She sound as if she wants to cry but then I must be imagining things. I just woke up from that damn dream. May residue pa nang dreamland ang utak ko.

"And besides, why would I go there? Sawa na ba syang itago ang nakakahiyang anak nya?" I added. Venom evident on my voice.

"Your dad is in the ICU, Margarette. He's dying." pahikbing anas ni Stella.

The phone fell from my hands. As the tears that welled up earlier flowed freely to my pain stricken face.

I can still feel the pain. But I certainly did not expect it to hurt as much.