Let me repair your broken soul (Guardian BL) ✔completed

08 - Thinking of you

Earlier that day, at dawn when the sun hit his eyelids, Yunlan woke up and almost immediately noticed something was different. Not the fact he woke up at someone else's place. No. His head was not shattering under the pressure of headache and he could think clearly. That was new.

"This is..."

He got up and walked around the place, ending in front of the door to the bedroom. Yunlan reached for the doorknob, noticing the door was not closed entirely. There was a space and he used that to peek inside. The curtains must have been pulled together, because Yunlan could not see properly. He pushed the door open and walked to the bed. For a second he felt like a stalker, or even worse - like a total weirdo.

"Are you even alive?" he asked in a whisper, observing the peacefully sleeping Shen. The man's face was illuminated by the moonlight and Yunlan thought, for a moment, that he looked like an angel.

When he wanted to come closer, a sudden sound of a bird landing on the window sill startled him. Yunlan turned in fear and by doing so hit the bed side table with his knee. He bit hit bottom lip to not let out a scream of pain. When he wanted to massage his knee his shoulder once again reminded him he shall not move his arm and Yunlan ended up in a spasm of more pain.

The only thing he wanted to do was to curse the whole world, but he did not want to wake the man up. He wanted to leave, but his leg wobbled and he ended up in a very strange position. Falling over the sleeping frame, he supported himself on one arm behind Shen's back to not completely fall on his body.

"Hmmm..." The snoozing statue moved, making Yunlan more uneasy as their faces shifted closer.

"This is pretty bad," Yunlan thought to himself when he felt a warm breathe on his lips. Shen moved again and a soft moan left his mouth, leaving Yunlan vulnerable.

"I have to get out!"

He swiftly backed from the bed and then rushed to the front door. Keys were in the door, so he only turned them and then run to the cold morning breeze.

+++

Yunlan was standing near the only window in his flat, watching the construction site just across the street. For the past few months he had the best view on the whole scenery of building machines, workers and most importantly - dust and noise. 

A big bulldozer was just coming to view and Yunlan thought of all the things which happened to him in such a short period of time. He spent a night in a club, again. He had a fight with someone, nothing new. But then, someone helped him, surprisingly. He was carried to a house of some stranger and after that he was nursed with care, something he did not expect at all. Thinking about that kind man, Yunlan was feeling strange. He was not sure why, but the image of him kept reappearing in his mind.

Maybe, it was caused by the lack of alcohol in his veins. When he woke up the day after his clubbing night, he had a hangover, but no alcohol in his body system which was unusual. Usually, he would not remember anyone he met, but this time he met someone while being sober. And maybe for that reason he still kept thinking of that man. Because he did remember him.

Ever since that fateful day when he lost his sister, Yunlan tried his best to change himself, to change his own world. But it only led him to surviving, from one sad day to another, from one dark night to another. Loosing himself completely on the journey... It has been five days already since his encounter with him, the one who saved him. Yes. Yunlan finally admitted that Shen saved his ass, even though he did not ask for it. And Yunlan, still not fully accepting the truth, slowly decided to not force himself to change, but welcome and accept his true self.

When he returned to his small apartment he saw it with different eyes. The walls seemed to coming closer, threatening to crash him in between soon. The furniture was covered with a thick layer of dust. The air was smelly and the kitchen area was overflowing with leftovers and bottles. Yunlan was suffocating there. He caught himself thinking of the warm and cozy living room he woke up in a few days ago. His heart suddenly craved for such home. Place where he would love to return to. Place that would ensure his safety and freedom.

"I should change my life."

The sudden strength in his veins pulled him to clean his entire apartment. Without the dust, with opened curtains, clothes neatly stacked in the wardrobe and wiped kitchen the place looked a bit friendlier. But Yunlan knew this was not enough. It was only a fake existence for him. He needed more, he wanted more.

His mind led him back to the first smile he saw on his lips, to the first touch of his fingers on his skin and to the first word he spoke to him...

Yunlan breathed in and then shook his head. "Stop thinking about him!"

But Shen's picture did not want to leave.

"Just go away!" Yunlan screamed, startling himself. 

He grabbed his jacket and went out for a long walk. It was the only way how to not go crazy in the smallness of his apartment as well as to find another topics to think of.

He made a few rounds around a nearby park and then sat down on one of the many lonely benches. He did not want to go back. Even though he cleaned the place, it was not a real home he wanted to return to. Yunlan wanted to change the way he lived, but he could not do that while living in a place covered with sad memories. He needed to start anew, somewhere else, with someone else.

The memory of his smile returned and Yunlan's heart sunk when he could not remember his name.

"Did he tell me?"

Yunlan's mind was blank. He was thinking hard the whole way back to his apartment. Later on, when he opened his fridge to get something to drink, he saw the shirt Shen gave to him. Pulling it out of the bin he spotted a stain across the sleeve. Apparently, one of the bottles he put there earlier was not entirely empty.

He sniffed the soft fabric and started coughing.

"This will not do," he sighed. Crumpling the shirt into a bag he went out again to find the nearest Dry Cleaners.

+++End of chapter 8+++

Yes, that girl hinted at the beginning was not Yunlan's lover/girlfriend ;)

I have noticed that lately after publishing a new chapter the image disappears T_T