Beyond Old Scars

Graduation

School goes by in a blur; the whole week goes by in a blur. Graduation is tomorrow and the only ones there for me are my friend's parents, or so I thought.

Lucifer and I are waiting for our names to be called; his will be called before mine, so I silently listen for his name. While I'm sitting I decide to look around at all the parents which I regret as soon as I do. My smile falters as I see my father sitting on the bleachers, just waiting, but for what? For me to run into his arms happy? To scream daddy I made it? No, I hate my father, the fact that he is here means my mother asked him to be before she died. He already told me I wasn't his daughter.

Lucifer's name is called and everyone cheers, so many teachers are glad that he made it and so am I. So many more names are called before mine is, I walk up to the front to shake the hands of the principle and the staff, and get my diploma. I walk back to my seat and still see my father, smiling, like he was proud; proud of what? The last name is called, and then I walk up once more to give my speech to the graduating class. The speech I haven't wanted to write let alone read out loud to everyone.

I stand behind the podium, after the principle calls my name and everyone claps; why they clap I don't know, so many of them hated me.

"My graduating class, we have made it, from pre - k to our senior year. So many of us didn't believe that we would make it this far, some didn't even think they would make it out of middle school. My story, just like many others is simple, I made it through the bullying and the heart breaks, and most importantly I stayed breathing. We as a class have been through so much, there have been so many differences between all of us, everyone has their own friends they hung out with but many of you will lose contact with one another and others won't.

"I was asked to type out a paper to read to you guys, I was told what to say, how to say it. Well, I'm not doing that. I want to say what I think, I think my bullies will not make it far in life, and if you do, great. I think some of the high school sweet hearts will last and others won't, who am I to say? I never asked to write a speech, I never asked to even be where I am. So many of us hate school, and see no point to it, well I'm telling you there is a point. School teaches us so much that we don't understand, that we will never understand.

"I'm sure so many of you cheated your way through to graduation and others excelled at it. But as I will never know, I will say this. We as once students and now adults will all take our own paths, make our own paths. My fellow students, will you please take your tassel from the right side and place it on your left. As you do, congratulations, you as well as I are now part of society." As I finish the speech I didn't want to do everyone took off their caps and threw them in the air as a sign of freedom.

I run through the crowd right to Lucifer, and I hug him, so close he gets worried and then sees my father. "Alice, I'm so proud that you've graduated, I'm sure your mother would be too If she were here." He spoke to me like I wasn't his child; his tone and eyes were stone cold.

"Father, I never asked you to be here. And if mother did I don't know why, you killed her, you don't have any family anymore."

"Alice, you don't understand"

"Yes, I do understand perfectly father. I'm not six anymore, you can't hurt me, nor can you hurt my baby" As I turn to leave he grabs my arm tight

"You're pregnant?"

I pull away and slap him "You have no right to grab me after what you did to me father! You aren't my family and never were, you killed my mother and almost me too! I want nothing to do with you!" I yell loud enough for many people to look over and wonder what's happening.

Lucifer grabs me close while I cry and starts to walk me away when I hear my father whisper "I'm sorry Ali, I love you." Quiet enough for only me to hear.

I start to cry harder so Lucifer picks me up and takes me home, our home. Not with my father or with Sadie, home with him, my love.