Beyond Old Scars

Epilogue

Days went slowly for the funeral, it felt like you got stuck in a pit of glue and can't get out. Lucifer helped, and we both kept James happy, I am pregnant with my second baby, a boy. His name will be Elliott, I should have told my father, stopped him from killing himself but I know in the back of my mind, I'm glad he did it. 

James is excited to be a big sister, and Lucifer is excited for a boy. Life will go on for our little family, and I know I will never end up like my father, he was a hateful man, and I'm not. 

Some days drug on, others went by fast. I am glad to have the funeral over, only problem now is that people think I drove him to kill himself since I was the last person to see him alive in his home. He left a note, which the police read, and gave to me. 

Alice,

This is my note, that what people do right? Write a note? I'm so very sorry for everything, for everything I've done, I turned into my father. I hate myself for it and so I will take my own life tonight. I leave everything I owned to you, all my money and belongings. 

I hope someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me Alice, for, I will never  forgive myself for the pain I have caused you and your mother. The night she killed herself, she told me she was going to do it and I replied with 'go ahead', you were right, I killed her and now I am paying the price for all the wrong I have caused. 

Tell my beloved James that grandpa has passed, but don't tell her why. Alice, it is now that I shall tell you why i did those things. My father whipped and beat me, I guess I was so afraid of turning into him that I didn't realize that I did. 

This, this is my final sentence to you, it is not your fault that I took my own life, though I know you'll blame yourself. I am sorry for everything Alice, I take everything at fault, I was a horrible father and an even worse dad. I lost any trust and love you had for me, taking my own life is the best thing I will ever do, it is my punishment.

                                                                                                          Love,

                                                                                                                 Your father...

I stare at the paper for the last time before placing it in my box of memories from my father, I will not be him, I forgave him long ago and I should have told him that. 

I stand up after placing the box under my bed and walk to get Lucifer, then Lucifer, James, and I walk to my fathers grave to place flowers. "Goodbye dad, I forgive you." I say in a choked sob, Lucifer holds me as we walk back to the car and go home, back to my home.

THIS IS MY FINAL PART TO THE STORY, I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO ADD A SEQUEL!!