Beyond Old Scars

Cancer (time skip!)

It's been three years since my baby girl was born, While Lucifer was at work I did most of the cleaning as well as watching James, and she mostly stayed in her crib when I wasn't with her. I was going through the mail and found a letter addressed to me, from my father; my heart skipped. I didn't know if I was terrified or happy to hear from him again. I ripped it open while tears streamed from my face and down my cheeks.

Alice,

I know we aren't on the best terms, we never were. I didn't lie when I told you I was proud, I was a fuck up of a father and I'm sorry. Alice, I need your help; I'm dying. Cancer has chosen to be my fate; this is what I get from all the bad I've done to you. My dear girl, I need your care, I need your love for I don't want to die with you hating me. I was horrible, I take blame for your mother, and I take blame for everything I did. I was ashamed that I didn't get a baby boy and your mother showed all her affection to you and never me.

You need to understand, I loved you, and I was really proud. I know you don't want to see me; you made that very clear at your graduation. Soon I'll get to see your mother again and make things right for her. I beg of you, let me see your face one last time, I can never hide secrets from you. I plan on killing myself after you leave my dear, I will not live with cancer.

I messed up, I know. I just want one last chance to say I'm sorry, to see my grand baby, and you. If you do see me, do it before this Friday, you know where I live Alice. And if you don't show up by three o'clock then I'll understand. I love you Alice, I just couldn't get passed my own head and problems.

Sincerely,

Your only Father

By the time I'm finished reading I want to scream and curse myself for ever opening that letter. I get up and slam my fists against the wall until their bloody and swollen; I fall against the wall crying and stay there for ten minutes until I hear James cry for me. I get up, wash my hands and go on with the rest of my day.

When Lucifer gets home he questions my hands but I refuse to explain myself, he knew what I did, for I forgot to clean the blood off of the wall. I was too tired to fight with him.

"Watch her please, I'm going to shower then lay her down for bed." I kiss him on the cheek and walk to the bathroom.

A few minutes later I'm crying while sitting on the floor of the tub, Lucifer knocks.

"Alice baby, let me in, I laid the baby down, please."

I unlock the door and fall right back down to the bottom of the tub. Lucifer strips down and climbs in behind me, pulling me closer to him he just holds me.

"Baby, I saw the note, we'll go. I love you Alice, so does he; give him a chance." He says kissing the back of my neck and holding me tighter.

We get out of the shower about ten minutes later and lay down for bed, tomorrow was Friday, and I was terrified. I fell asleep against Lucifer's chest comforted by him being there.