Skipper

11| This Is What I Want

TRICIA

I have to be on Skipper's system. 

And I am willing to leave some things behind to achieve my goal. May gusto akong makuha, kaya kailangan ko'ng magsakripisyo. 

In this world, we can not have it all. We have to set our priorities, and sort out the things that we can sacrifice to take care of our priorities. 

"You can't do that to us, Tricia," Dad said in a firm tone.

Nagpapa-alam ako kay Daddy na aalis na muna ng kalahating taon. I need a break from his shadows. I need a break from the company and all the responsibilities it entails me. 

But most of all, I need my time to chase my dream. I need to get Skipper. 

It can't wait. I want him for so long, and I'll be having him now. 

I shook my head. "I am old enough to do what I want, Daddy."

Dad removed his spectacles and look me straight in the eyes. I felt a little nervous under his intense gaze, but I am firm on my decision. 

"You know I love you, my little princess, and I am always willing to give you everything you want. But not this. Not this time, please? The company needs you. I need you. You know how vital you are on our company," Daddy sighed then gave me a pleading look. "You can't leave."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I know Dad's in the middle of crisis because of the companies, but I already made my mind. The family needs me, my father needs me, but I also need my happiness. 

"I'm sorry, Dad," I said in a firm tone. This will break my father, but I know that he'll forgive me. He won't be mad at me. "I will go with my plan. This is what I want."

Dad gave me a hard expression. We stare into each other's eyes, no one backing down. We're both firm on our ground, and no one wants to give way. 

"Don't you have sense of responsibility, Tricia?" Dad asked in a cold tone.

I nodded my head once. "I am responsible for my own happiness, Dad. Staying on this company and helping you out is something I have to do, I know. But right this moment, it's not my priority. I am done being the good daughter. For years, I live my life to the expectations. I worked under the pressure to meet every demand of what should be your perfect daughter. I did my best not do be a disappointment. And my entire life, I am confident that I was never a disappointment.

Being the Tricia you need gave me a sense of pride, but it's not a genuine happiness, Dad. As your daughter, I am asking for your blessing to let me free from your shadows. I am not Ate Tria. I am not Trey. I can't be as selfless as them. I can't be happy making others happy. I can't be happy serving a purpose on the company. I can't be happy being a good leader. I was never happy putting others' welfare before mine. 

I'm sorry if I am not the daughter you want. I'm sorry if I can't be as ideal as Trey. But Dad, I can't do that. I am selfish."

I didn't expect the tears that fell on my cheek. Agad na pinahid ko 'yon at nanatili ang seryosong titig kay Daddy na seryosong nakatitig din sa akin. 

It's heartbreaking to break my Dad's heart. But I have to be firm on my decision. I already picked a priority, and this time, it's not my father or the family. This time, I want to be happy. 

After a long while of silence, Dad sighed then signaled me to come closer. 

I slowly went on the other side of his table. I stopped beside him. Dad raised from his chair then his gaze became gentle. Bahagyang nanubig ang mga mata n'ya.