Skipper

40| Demons of the Past

Note: The first one I made got deleted. I typed almost three thousand words and it didn't save. Medyo walang kwenta 'to dahil bwisit ako, lol.

TRICIA

"Tricia, you have to rest, anak." Mommy was full of worry while gently talking to me.

I was sitting beside Skipper's bed, holding his hand. I need this to remind myself that he's still here with me. I need to feel that he's still here with me.

After Skipper's twenty two hours inside the operating room, he was sent here in the ICU. It took a lot of convincing before the hospital staffs let me stay here with him.

"Tricia, you've been here for hours already. You have to eat properly and have some decent sleep. You almost had a miscarriage, anak. You have to take care of yourself for the baby."

I wiped the tear that rolled down my cheek. I kissed Skipper's knuckle. "Skipper, I'll come back tomorrow." Ayoko sana pero kailangan ko na magpaalam na muna sa asawa ko.

Tumayo na ako at hinayaan si Mommy na alalayan ako palabas ng ICU. Naabutan ko sila Nanay at Tatay na naghihintay sa mga upuan habang magkahawak ang mga kamay. Agad na ngumiti si Nanay sa akin at tumayo para yakapin ako.

"Tricia, anak, magpahinga ka na muna ha. Alam ko na hindi mawawala sa'yo ang pag-aalala pero alagaan mo ang sarili mo, please. Skipper needs you and the baby." Masuyong hinaplos ni Nanay ang buhok ko at ngumiti sa akin. Namumula ang mata n'ya sa pag-iyak. "Kami na muna ang bahalang magbantay kay Kipoy."

Pinilit ko na ngumiti at yumakap kay Nanay.

Iniuwi ako nila Mommy at Daddy sa mansyon. Si Mommy ay tinabihan pa ako na matulog. Halos wala din akong tulog dahil sa sobrang pag-aalala sa asawa ko.

I found myself caressing my tummy.

I feel unworthy for this blessing within me.

Baby, I'm sorry that you have an evil mother. Everything that's happening is because of me. May nagawa kasi ako na mali kaya pinaparusahan ako sa ngayon. Pero sana ay ako na lang. I'm the one at fault, why does it have to be my husband to suffer?

I suddenly felt a tightening on my chest. I calmed myself then took deep breaths.

Bukas, I'll consult my doctor. I was warned that pregnancy might not be good for me. I have a heart problem, and everything were piling up now with what happened to my husband. I'm too stressed. And now that I am pregnant, I'm not confident with my emotional stability.

Kaya pala hindi ko na maintindihan ang sarili ko noong mga nakaraang araw. My emotion was ruling over my rationality.

I did something horrible to Darlene Aiyana. I owe her an apology.

"Tricia, do you want me to get you a warm milk?"

Nagulat ako nang bigla akong tanungin ni Mommy. Umupo s'ya sa kama kaya napaupo na din ako. Mom reached for the lamp then switched it on. Nakita ko ang pag-aalala sa mga mata n'ya.

Mommy gently smiled at me then she combed my hair with her fingers. She scanned my face then she caressed my cheek. I felt a sense of calmness while staring at her eyes.

She looks exactly like Tiana but they got different vibes. Mom's always gentle and caring. She got an angelic face and the warm glimmer in her eyes gave out a sense of warmth in my heart. Tiana on the other hand gave out a strong personality. My sister got a fierce vibe and her eyes looks like they're reading everything that's wrong with you.

Nakakatuwa na magkamukha sila pero magkaibang-magkaiba.

"I was just sixteen when I got pregnant with you." The corner of Mom's eyes wrinkled when she smiled. "Alam mo ba na takot na takot ako noon? You happened when I don't even know how to support myself. Aksidente lang kasi noon sa Daddy mo. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung saan s'ya hahanapin. I was so scared but happy at the same time. I was amazed by the fact that there's a life within me."