to him ••• yoonmin

Bang Bang

Jimin-
I walk through the school by myself. It's been a few days since I've decided I'm graduating early. I haven't found the right way to tell Taehyung. I know, no matter what, he's going to get upset. So I've just avoided him.
"Park!" I hear him yell. I ignore him and keep walking. "Park Jimin!" I can hear him right behind me. He shoves me forward. "What the hell?!" Taehyung yells.
I look at him. I've always hated when he's angry. His eyes get dark and his ears turn pink. It's almost enough for me to kneel in front of him and plead for mercy. I know this isn't going to end well. Hoseok is right next to him. He looks confused. I would be too. To anyone they'd be confused on why we are fighting.
"Why the fuck have you been ignoring me for two days?!" He yells. "Did I do something? Why didn't you talk to me if somethings wrong?"
I shake my head. "It's me. I have to do something," I say.
"What? Tell me what it is!" He exclaims. He steps towards me.
I sigh. "I'm graduating this year," I say.
His eyes sadden. His whole body seems to deflate. "What?" His voice is small, like a kids.
"I'm graduating this year. I have enough credits to."
"You're leaving me? Wh-what? No you can't," Tae says. "I'll be all alone."
"I'm doing it. I don't need your permission, Taehyung. I need to get out of here," I say.
"No! What do you mean? Why would you do that to me? You're supposed to be with me, forever. Like we promised!" Taehyung is yelling again. His eyes are damp.
"I'm sorry. I have to do this for me," I say.
"You're so selfish!" He shoves me.
"Taehyung," Hoseok tries to step in.
"After all we've been through? I helped you, and you're leaving me! I helped you so much! You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for me!"
My cheeks flare at that. No one knows what happened last school year. They aren't supposed to know. "Shut up," I say.
"No! You can't just take from me! I give you everything I can to make you better! I can't live without you! And now you're just leaving! Like it's no big deal!" Taehyung yells. "And what about Seokjin? Have you told him? He missed so many classes last year to help you and to babysit you! Because someone had to! And your parents wouldn't!"
"Don't even get me started on them!" He continues. "I was always there when they were fighting! When you were scared they'd split! I was there. I supported you! Because I love you so much! And I don't want you to leave me!"
He breathes heavily to catch his breath. "Why do you want to hurt me?"
"I have to go. I can't stay here. My life is a mess. But I have until school ends. I'll come visit. I'll text you every day," I say.
He scowls. "Until you forget. Until you get in another abusive relationship and aren't allowed to have friends."
"That's enough!" Hoseok pulls Taehyung away. "We aren't going to do this here."
Hands grab my arms. I jump. But I relax when I see Yoongi. "Hey," he says softly. "Let's go." He starts walking out. I follow him with a short distance between us.
"C-can you drop me off somewhere?" I ask.
He looks at me sadly. "I don't want you to be alone," he says.
"I won't. I want to go to Jin's house. He doesn't have college on Thursdays."
He bites his lip. "Yeah, sure. Get in my car."
I get buckled. It's a quiet ride to my neighborhood. The car stops in front of Jin's house. I texted him to tell him I'm coming. Before I get out, Yoongi grab any hand. "I'm always here if you need me, okay?" He says.
I nod. "I know. But I just need someone like Jin." I squeeze his hand. I get out and knock on the front door before going in. I walk up the steps to Jin's room.
Jin is sitting at his desk on his computer. "Hey, I'm just finishing up some school work," he says. "It's funny. Taehyung texted me that you'd be over before you did."
I frown. "He did?"
"Yeah. Why? Did something happen?" Jin asks. He shuts his computer and looks at me. His face falls. "Come here baby." He holds his arms open.
I sit on his lap. His embrace is comforting. "I make everyone so unhappy," I say.
"No you don't." He rubs my back. "Why do you think that?"
"You And Taehyung help me so much. I don't even pay you back. You help me in so many ways and you don't get anything out of it," I say.
His thumb caresses my cheek. I lean into his room touch. "I'm your friend. I don't need anything in return. You needed help, I help, like friends do. Plus, who said I don't get anything out of it?"
I blush slightly. "But Taehyung-"
"What caused the fight? What happened?" He interrupts me.
I sigh. "I'm going to graduate this year. I plan on leaving for whatever college immediately."
He stares at me. "I'm proud of you. But I know why Taehyung feels upset. You and him went through school together. It must be upsetting if your life long best friend just decides to leave. You need to apologize."
I lay my head on his shoulder. "I know. I just wish he would be supportive. And he yelled out about Joshua in front of everyone. He talked about my relationship with him. I'm so humiliated. Now people are going to pity me."
"They won't if you show them you are strong. Finish the school year strong. Don't overwork yourself. And prove to everyone that you can't be set back. Go to college, make yourself proud."
"You can do it, I know you can," he says.
I look into his eyes he fore I connect my lips with his. He kisses back. My arms are around his neck, his on my waist. We both know where it's going. We've done it multiple time before. It doesn't effect our relationship. It's just a way for me to cope and he is here to help me. He's so careful with me, way more than Joshua was.
Jin carries me to his bed. His hands rubs my sides. He whispers sweet words. His lips kiss my neck. He makes me feel needed. It's been a while. Probably the beginning of summer. He though it'd be best if we stop for a while so I don't get distracted.
No strings attached. I could never love Jin like that. I know he is beautiful and he makes me feels good. But it'd be weird to feel romantic feels towards him. And he doesn't exactly have a sexual preference. He classifies himself as Aromantic. He probably is Asexual, but he never talks about it.
"Jin," I say softly.
His soft lips suck on my neck. Teeth graze my skin. I moan quietly. He kisses the mark he's made. "Sh, let me take care of you. I'm going to make you feel good." He pushes my hair out of my face. "Beautiful boy."
•••
I walk to school the next day. Taehyung avoids me. I expected it. But I really need to talk to him. Yoongi is with me through the first set of school. I catch him staring at my neck. I know I'm covered in hickeys. But why does he just stare? It makes me feel self conscious, or like a slut.
"Yoongi."
"Hm," he drones. His eyes don't leave my neck.
I wave my hand in front of his face. He snaps out of his trace and his eyes lift to my face. "Can you stop staring?" I ask.
He sighs. "If you answer me this question." I nod. "Your friend, Seokjin, did he give you that?"
I bite my cheek, but nod.
He chews on his lip and nods. "Okay. Are you just friends? What is your relationship."
"We are just friends," I say quickly. It's true. We are nothing more than best friends.
"Friends who do what?"
I scowl. "It's none of your business, actually." I collect my things. "I'll see you at lunch." I got up and go to fourth. It's dance. I pray Taehyung isn't in there with Hoseok. I pray no one will try to talk to me. I get changed and go to the dance room. Hoseok is in there. There's not that many other kids in the dance program, so there's only four more people in the room. I get my shoes and and sit down to stretch.
Hoseok quickly approaches me and sit in front of me. He starts stretching too. "So, how are you?" He asks. It's like I didn't have a fight with his boyfriend.
"Peachy," I answer sarcastically.
"Ah. Okay. Well, I was wondering if you were okay. I know Taehyung is worried about you. He wants to know if you're okay and if you got what you needed from Jin," Hoseok says.
I scoff. "What I do with Jin is not your business. Nor is it Taehyung's until he stops acting childish and lets us talking about the situation in a more private setting."
"Yeah," Hoseok sighs. "He called you out at a bad time. I'm sorry I didn't stop him."
I shrug. "The damage is done. Now people will think I'm weak."
"I don't think you're weak. I think you are the strongest person I know. I know what happened. And if you can come back like that, than I know you are the strongest."
I bite back a smile. I feel my stomach turn warm with the praise. "Thank you."
The teacher comes in and starts saying things. We stand up and go through our normal dance practice. Soon we are let out for lunch. Taehyung, Jungkook, Namjoon, and Yoongi are at the bleacher. Taehyung is smoking a cigarette. I sigh and I walk ahead of Hoseok to them. I stand in front of Taehyung, causing him to look at me. I take the cancer stick and throw it away. He lets out a sound of protest. I grab his wrist and yank him away from everyone else.
He tries to pull away from me. "Taehyung, knock it off," I say. Once we are a good distance away, I let go.
He crosses his arms. "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to talk to you," I say.
"So talk," Taehyung says, stubbornly.
"I'm sorry Taehyung. You know I love you. And you know I don't want to leave you. But I really need to leave my parents. You know I can't be fully happy when living with them."
"Then live with me!" He says. "I've offered before! You can sleep in my room."
I shake my head. "You already have so many people in your house. I don't want to be any trouble or put stress on your parents," I say. "I'm sorry I'm graduating this year. But it'll be fast until I'm back since you'll be a year behind me," I say.
He sighs. "Okay. I guess I can live with that."
"Really?" I ask hopefully.
He smiles and nods. I hug him. He hugs back and crushes my ribs. I yelp and let go. He looks at me. "Now, why did you go to Jin? You knew how it was going to end. I thought you ended doing that?" He asks.
I sigh. "I just needed something. I know we could never have feelings towards each other. And he makes me feel so loved and nice."
He sighs. "He feels like he's taking advantage of you."
I frown. "He shouldn't. If anything, I should feel that way." I rub on the hickey.
Taehyung nods. "I know. But you know Jin. He just wants the best and he really loves you. He's scared to turn you down and he's scared he'll do something bad."
I sigh. "We should stop for good then," I say.
"I think so. It'll be good for the both of you," Taehyung says. "Plus I think Yoongi might be getting jealous." He raises his eyebrows.
I scoff. "Why would he be jealous?"
"I don't know. It seems like he likes you."
"Of course. We're friends," I say. I'm slightly dumbfounded that Taehyung could even think this. "Besides, it's me. Someone like Yoongi doesn't date people like me. And I don't date people like Yoongi."
"Yeah you date abusive bastards."
I hit his arm. "Stop bringing that up."
"Alright alright. Lets go," Taehyung slings his arm over my shoulder. He kisses the side of my head, making me laugh. We go back to the group.
"So, all is well?" Hoseok asks.
"Yup!" Taehyung says. He sits down. I sit in his lap. His arms wrap around mine and he squeezes me. I giggle and lean back on him. I shoot Yoongi a quick glance. He's looking at me. He gives me a weak smile before looking down at his hands.
I can't help but think about what Taehyung said.