Tall Tales

- 21 -

T W E N T Y  O N E

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Earnest

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"So you've told nobody?" He mused out loud, locking his phone screen, "No one knows about... us?"

"No," she shoved her clothes into her suitcase with haste. "Nobody." She paused when she heard the rustles behind her as he moved from his lying position to the edge of her bed. The background music was cut off shortly after, filling the room with the blaring noise of silence.

"Why?" He was sitting now, and didn't wait as her mind buzzed for some answers, "When? When are you going to tell people? Wait, no, are you even planning to?"

She finished folding the jacket in her hold and turned around. "What is it?"

"You know what."

A sigh of defeat was her only reply. "I'm going, Luke, you know that. You also know that I'll be back," then she added, "Soon."

"And you know that's not my point," he stood. Her back was a mere inch away from his warmth, the weary atmosphere clung to both of their tense shoulders. "You're still holding yourself back. You haven't taken the fall. You haven't let your chains go," he pointed out, not in an accusing manner, but more like a revelation that he himself had tried to shake off for quite sometime now.

"Maybe, maybe not. I need my time," she kneeled to place the folded jacket into the suitcase.

"Why, Kay?" The urgency in his voice made her stop in her tracks and turned around. That's when he saw the lights reflecting from the sheen of liquid coating her dark brown eyes. "Kay, I trust you. But can you say the same thing for me?"

She stayed silent, and every tick of the clock that passed without any voice to crack the silence felt like a blow to his heart. "You are still afraid."

"Well, what am I supposed to feel?" She blurted. "You... you're you. You're cool, you're smart, you're... athletic, you can get just about any girl you'd want. You're just a godsend, do you know that?" A tear fell from her left eye and she wiped both her eyes furiously with the heels of her hands. "You can get anyone to fall in love with you. And no matter how sweet your pickup lines are, no matter how potent and charming they are, they only work as a buffer, you know? I'm like this super acidic solution, and you'd drain yourself trying to make me neutral," she surrendered to gravity and sat on the cold tiles, "I... don't know anymore, Luke. I'm scared that one day you'll be walking down the park with someone else clutching your arm, or crossing the street with someone else's fingers wrapped around yours, or laughing by the lake with someone else wiping off those crumbles on your face. So yes, I am still afraid; very much so, and you're welcome to hate me for it," at some point during her rant, he sat in front of her and now his hands are around her, rocking her back and forth. Her feelings are screaming about fear for the future, yet these sensations instigated safety and serenity to her flighting anxiety.

"You're not being fair," he murmured into her hair. "You should try and think about this from my point of view sometimes. It feels so much like you're pushing me away, and your reason is that you're not good enough for me. But I'm not perfect, I'm also human. You know that, you know that every time I get on your nerves. Every time I mixed everything on my plate before I eat. Every time I forgot to use the specifically assigned sponges to wash the dishes. I'm not perfect, Kay. And I do feel that I don't deserve you, that you're too good for me. Goddamnit, you're so beautiful, Kay, you should know that. You should remember it. And to have you willingly open yourself up to me, it makes me feel special. You make the world worth it. Now, if you insist on pushing me away, what can I do? Would you take responsibility when I do find a second best and live my life with that person, every day filled with regret?" He put a distance between them, boring his eyes into hers, "Nah, I think you would just tell yourself that I'm just like every other guy. I bet you'd beat yourself up and feel that even if we were still together I would choose that girl over you. You would forget altogether that I chose you. I already chose you. And whoever comes next can never compare to the best person ever that can complement me, Kanae."

At that point, both of their eyes were brimming with unshed tears, the air inside the room felt too stuffy, and everything feels so sensitive. He held her tightly once more, until she reluctantly pushed herself away from him to finish packing. His eyes didn't leave her for one second throughout the whole process, dubiety shone behind those stormy orbs. In her dark brown ones were a different storm – vacillation. Both in doubt, both in uncertainty, yet in love.

A/N: Hello, it's me. Looooong time no see, eh??? Well here's a new chapter, filled with loong conversations and another unsettled ending. Please don't hate me!

Anyways, it's late now – early, actually, and my mind doesn't want to rest but my body beseeches me to, so until next time~

Post Scriptum

The name Luke means bright, white, while the name Kanae means love, affection. Btw, Kanae here is taken from a Japanese name and not a Hawaiian name.

Love eternally,
Caera Keane