Fira's Brilliant Ideas 6

2018: a synopsys thus far.

Warning: This chapter goes into a really dark place for me... some of what I talk about, I've never told anyone how I felt about certain situations... I'm fucking crying trying to finish this... I just wanted to put this here, because this shit hit me like a fucking train.

I had a conversation two days ago, yesterday, and a month ago that's making this chapter be a thing. OOF.

God, there's so many things I blocked out from the last year, it's like I wasn't even alive in 2017. January 2018 to now hasn't been the best either. I'm going to take my personal experiences, and write them out so you don't have to go through the same shit... And hopefully, you can avoid some of the fucking mind numbing pain I went through up until just recently. Some of these "POINTS" were me, and some of them were NOT. The ones that were me will have further detail, as I don't want to offend someone by the off chance that they see this... which, I'm 99% sure they won't as they have pretty much cut ties with me and two other people, only one person talks to them because THEY just want to talk to the one person. All of what happened was directed towards me... so, the harder you swing the fucking bat, the more they're gonna bleed, right?

This person is pointing fingers, and I'm ready to cut their hand off because I'm honestly so fucking tired of all of this shit...

I dunno if you know about this series, but it's called Gravity Falls? It ended... I think last year? Well, in one of the episodes, the main characters find this memory gun made by this secret society...
Sometimes, I fucking wish I could take that gun to my own head to fucking forget this person. They fucking snapped last year, and shit just went downhill from there. I guess they're not necessarily a "bad person", they're just not understanding, accepting help, and honesty just being a dick about it. But it doesn't necessarily mean that they're "bad".

The last really big thing that happened was last month, around the 10th... I believe that's the date of the night everything just... happened...

I only know that date, because on the morning of the 11th, I had a missed call from one of my friends in that group. During that call, another one of my friends (who didn't know what happened at the time) started talking to me, KNEW something was wrong, and asked if I wanted to talk about it. Very respectfully. Wasn't pushy. Good boy. Love him. XD
He went and talked to everyone that was still in the group, because he saw how it fucking hurt me. Me telling him was me placing more trust into him. Which, actually allowed him to place more trust in me.

About a week later, I tried talking with THEM in the group... it had gone on for roughly three hours. He was asleep and woke up. At this point, it's like 2:30 in the morning.

When THEY pointed fingers at him, it didn't bother him, really. He's just kinda chill... I don't know why the fuck telling him about when THEY said what they said about him fucked with my head so much... it took me two fucking days to say that that happened...
I guess it's like manipulation. Something to make someone else feel angry, or hell infuriated to the point of screaming at THEM.

Wanting attention.

That's the only explanation I can think of.

So, after that shitshow... I'll give you some advice on what NOT to do, and what TO DO. Because OOF. From October 2017 to now... it's been a big ass pile of shit. So here you go.

Don't say things when you think the other person can't see it. That's just called being an asshole.

Don't be dramatic and just lEaVe groupchats because that makes shit worse for you, and for the other people involved/in that group.