Running from My Past

So Had I, Roman, So Had I

I willed the darkness to pour out and spread around the room. I used all my fear and anxiety to shove it away from me. The doors popped open and I stepped over the unconscious guards. I ran into the room to see my friends all in a group, each one bound.

I let go of a breath I didn't know that I had been holding. They were alright. They were okay and safe an I wasn't too late.

"Virgil!" Roman cried. My heart melted at his voice. Most importantly, he was fine. I commanded the tendrils of darkness away from them and rushed over. I lifted the sword and started to cut away at the ropes on Roman's hands, being careful not to cut him. "Virgil. I'm so glad that you found us." His face was so close to my ear that I could feel his breath, hot against my cold skin.

"I'm glad I got here, I was so worried," I admitted.

"Virgil! Watch out!" Patton screamed. I whipped around to see my cloud disappearing and being consumed into his own personal storm. I brought the sword up and tried to hide the shaking in my hands. I knew this would happen. I knew that I would have to face him again, so why couldn't I move?

"Don't... Don't take another step," I tried to sound commanding but my voice was panicky and high. He stopped as a smirk lit up his face.

"What? No happy reunion? No, 'I've missed you! How have you been these past few years?'" He took another small step and I raised the sword a little higher to try to look intimidating. "Lower the sword little Anxiety. We both know you never were much of a fighter." He took a few more steps and motioned for Deceit to stay. He listened just like a poor lovesick puppy, I thought, not much had seemed to have changed over the years. 

"Right now your panic is growing. Your breath is catching and you feel like your suffocating. The air is too thin and the room is filled with too much. Your hands are shaking and you can't hide them." I looked down at my hands which were indeed shaking. I couldn't do this, what had I been thinking? "And that brain of yours keeps going over everything again and again and again. It's what you do. Your telling yourself that you can't possibly do it and your right."

He was now only a foot away but I still couldn't move. He's right, he's right, he's right, my thoughts repeated just like a mantra. He took one more step forward and placed his hands on mine as they clasped the hilt.

"Just let go of the sword, Anx. We can forgive you. You can actually do what you were created to do instead of hiding it away and pretending. You can spread your fear like poison. Look at the shadows, you can control them with me, use them to cloud the mind, choke out the light just like you were always intended to, Brother." I locked eyes with him. Dark, just like mine but dull.

"No!" Roman cried. "Don't listen to him, Virgil! You aren't just made to bring fear and panic. You help Thomas in so many other ways. You are the reason that he works so hard to do what he loves. You are what helps him to become a better person. Thomas needs you! We need you! Virgil, I need you," his voice cracked on the last word as a tear streaked down his face.

I tightened my grip on the sword and swung up, knocking Depression's hands away. My bangs fell over my eyes as I willed the darkness to creep back up.

"Foolish of you. I have always been stronger at this and you know it, Anxiety." I ignored him and concentrated, pulling myself into all the doubt and fear and anxiety. Sweat collected on my forehead as i fought for control.

"No. You always made me feel useless and weak. For some dumb reason I believed you. I followed you blindly. I thought that you were good and I was too anxious to stand up to you, but I know what goodness is now." The clouds gathered around him and Deceit, traveling up their torsos and to their necks. "And it isn't you!" The smoke closed over his face before he could even speak.

I dropped to my knees. What had I done? How had it lead to all of this?

"Virgil." Roman was next to me in seconds. He was also on his knees and his hands were tied. I knew that I should cut him loose but my head pounded and I couldn't move. "Virgil." He used his hands to lift my chin to meet his eyes.

Slowly he closed the gap between us and our lips met. He was gentle and warm. I gasped in surprise but soon leaned into it. I slipped my hands to the back of his head, enjoying the feeling of his soft hair between my fingers.

Then he slowly pulled away, leaving his face so tantalizing close that I wanted to kiss him again. He smiled, a smile that lit up his whole face.

"I've been wanting to do that for sooo long." I could feel the blush creeping up my face. So had I, Roman, so had I. 

Someone cleared their throat and I jumped away. Logan stood above us with Patton beside him. They were both free now.

"Sorry to disturb this moment but we should head back and I'm sure Roman can't be too comfortable making out while his hands are bound." My face burned as I picked up the sword and cut the rope away. He rubbed his wrists at the raw rings around them and stood up, holding out a hand to help me.

"We should get out of here fast. I'm not sure how long that will hold them." You need to get out of here.

I was correct on it not holding them for much longer. I could hear Depression's angry cries as we raced down the corridor. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Video on the top is from Oresamawesome on Youtube. You should go check her out because her cosplays are amazing.