A/N: This part is a little short but trust me, it's worth the read...I hope. Haha so that's all I really have to say besides please comment!! I need your feedback :D xx
WARNING: Self harm
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Harry's POV-
My pillow was soaking wet with tears. I've lost Zayn. I've lost all that I ever wanted. This made me realize for a fact that I didn't love Lou. I didn't love him like I loved Zayn. Liam laid beside me rubbing circles into my shaking back.
Harry: "I...I f*cked up."
Liam: "No Harry. You didn't. You were speaking the truth. Don't blame this on yourself."
Harry: "I wasn't though...I thought...maybe I loved him...but now Im pretty sure I...only love..Zayn."
I sobbed as my aching heart broke into a million pieces. I felt the warmth of Liam's body as he pulled me in closer. He laid a comforting hand on my pounding head and tried to calm me down. There was nothing anyone could do to make me feel better. My mind kept going back to the day I fell in love.
****Flashback****
I watched as the Bradford boy opened his soft pink lips. His deep brown eyes sparkle as I listened to each word fly out of his mouth. With every note, my heart fluttered. The sides of my lips turned up without me even knowing and I felt a light pink color paint my face. I opened my mouth to sing my part of the song but I couldn't concentrate as the boy's soft voice echoed through my mind....
***********
My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Liam groaned and I pried my eyes opened, the dried tears stuck my eye lashes together like glue. I pulled my heavy head up from the warmth of Liam's bare chest and he went to open the door.
Louis: "We still can't find Zayn..." I heard a familiar voice whisper.
Liam: "Did you look at every club in town....every hotel?" His voice was quiet but I could hear panic.
Niall: "We looked everywhere Li." His voice cracked.
Liam: "It'll be okay...he's probably just out blowing steam somewhere...he'll be back..." I slid on eye opened and watched Liam pull Niall in.
Louis: "How's Harry?"
Liam: "Not good..."
Louis: "It's all my fault. It's my fault Zayn is missing. It's my fault my best friend is hurt. He probably hates me."
Liam: "Lou. Harry doesn't hate you. He's just hurting right now."
I didn't hate Lou. I could never hate him because he was my best friend. I was upset with him but it also wasn't all his fault. I didn't completely blame him. I should've said that I didn't love him like that instead of saying 'I don't know.' And to be completely honest, I mostly blamed my self.
Anyways, I shut my tired eyes as the boys hugged and I heard footsteps reach my side. The soft blanket adjusted as I felt a body curl up beside me. I kept my eyes closed and pretended it was Zayn even though the boy's sweet smell didn't even resemble Zayn's cologne. I felt tears prickle at the side of my eyes and I tried to push his scent out of my mind...
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I woke up to a pounding headache and a horrible feeling in my stomach. I forced my head up and squinted my eyes as I reached for my phone. Nothing from Zayn. Liam's name was lit up on my screen though. His message just said he was in the other boys room and to call when I woke up if I needed anything. I needed Zayn.
I decided to scroll throw my Twitter feed and cheer myself up with some encouraging words from fans. Instead, my timeline was filled with pictures of Zayn 'hooking up' with a blonde last night at some club. I felt my heart drop. How the hell could Zayn do this? Yes, we were in a fight but we were still together...I thought... Maybe this was his way of getting back at me for kissing Lou. But he was GAY. I threw my phone and watched the little pieces shatter against the tan wall of the hotel. My face was burning with anger but my heart was filled with hurt. I decided to take a shower and wash away everything. Maybe when I came back into the room, Zayn would be on my bed. I just smirked at myself. I was so niave and stupid sometimes.
I striped down and climbed inside the shower. The cold water was mixing with my own warm tears. Chills spread over my body as I imagined each little water drop as Zayn's touch. I threw on a pair of sweat pants and starred into the glass and the face starring back was unfilimar. The eyes were blood red and drained. I shuttered. No wonder Zayn didn't love me.
Zayn doesn't love me.
I repeated the words in my mind and took a deep breath. I slid my shaking hand on the counter until I grasped the cold object and I plopped down on the hard tiles. I took off bracelets one by one, reveling a few light scars about a year old. I pressed the object against my skin and winced as it cut through. I felt like with every drip of blood that landed on my leg, out fell a problem, a reason I wanted to die.I was in pain just like I needed to be but it wasn't enough. I didn't only deserve pain... I deserved to die...
"If you loved me, you wouldn't have done this."
Zayn's words echoed in my mind like a song...a very painful song. I smiled a cold, emotionless smile as I moved the razor up my arm and cut a little deeper. I let out a small scream as the thick blood slid down. Tears streamed down my face and burned my raw cuts as they soaked through. I pressed the sharp object deeper and deeper and everything has happened the past 2 years were dancing around in my head and everything went black....
