Burnt Essences [A Story of Stale Love]

Thought Soldiers aren't afraid.

"They didn't know who I am,
About my plan to always kill all those in the room.
So they laugh, joke and point fingers,
I let them.
.
They don't know who I was till they get hit,
I give them, no apologies, I don't do that shit.
And they thought I won't last long,
So I bet them.
.
Hear me up, brothers,
If I'm harsh in this battle, then I told Ya.
I'm not afraid of death, it's my training,
I'm a Soldier.
.
To cross the borders and climb the walls,
If they think they're crouching, then I stand tall.
The last man standing, to eliminate them all,
Nothing but death can make me fall."
.
I'm on my knees.
Weeping.
As I open my diary to read this.
It's dated October' 15, a year ago.
.
And I look at myself,
In the mirror.
And I don't see nothing,
But a broken soul.
.
Has my uniform no meaning?
Is it justified for me to complain.
I know I'm not living, I'm only breathing,
Now nothing but silence in me remains.
.
Why all this lonely feeling?
Is it justified for me to complain.
And I keep thinking, and wondering Why.
Why did I succumb to this pain.
.
I'm a soldier in the making,
And I thought I was not afraid,
But now my hands are shaking,
As you hurt me again.
.
I've always been so numb but,
But I've a little bit to say,
That I need a little guardian angel,
To push all the pain away.
.
I call alot for help but,
But I'm miles and miles away,
They say I went too far to come back,
They say I've lost my way.
.
But I guess I'm just a soldier,
Trespassing love today,
And I've carried on so long that,
That now I'm worlds away.
.
They say love's a story,
Nothing but fairy tale,
And I thought that it's my training,
Thought that I am not afraid.
.
But I lost all my conscious,
In love's hazy way,
I was asleep in all those dreams I had,
But now I'm finally coming to.
.
You say love's a story,
Nothing but a fairy tale.
Then tell me why a soldier,
A soldier who's not afraid.
.
A soldier who crossed the borders,
And matches death's gaze,
Tell me why that soldier,
Is now on the back foot with you?
.
If love is just a story,
Then would you call me insane?
If I'm a soldier and love's a story,
Then why am I afraid of you?
.
Tell me Why,
A Soldier who's afraid of nothing.
Afraid of You?
.
I'm finally coming to,
I'm only afraid of you.
.
(M.Z)