●●●
and i hate it so much when you tell me
i've been feeling depressed for a few days now
because i know
that you've just been sad
and no matter how many times i tell you
that depression is not just feeling sad
you won't understand
because you want to be sad.
you want attention.
you want someone to care
but you're doing it the wrong way.
and how do i tell you
to stop comparing yourself to me
because it hurts,
it hurts that you want this,
it hurts that you find my pain so amusing
that you want to posses it
and there's nothing i can do
because you don't listen.
i tell you i cut my skin,
you roll your eyes.
i tell you i want to die,
you laugh.
i tell you that i can't do it anymore,
you sigh
and start talking about yourself.
so why am i trying
when you just don't want to listen,
when you just don't care,
when everything has to be about you?
but next time,
don't ask me
why didn't you open up to me?
●●●
10/2/18
