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where do i start?
let me start with this.
i'm just a teenager. i've been suffering from depression for quite some time now. the exact number of years is not really worth mentioning right now. but, all of those years i haven't been able to speak about it. i didn't think it was real or that it was serious. i used to tell myself that it's just a stupid phase and it will go away. people would ask me how i am and i would just answer with the good old i'm fine.
but i wasn't. i was never fine.
i wanted to stop saying it. i wanted to tell people how i really feel. i wanted to scream my words in a shape of badly written poetry. so i did.
i started this as a way to cope and finally open up about my feelings. i never went to the therapist and i never took any medication. i didn't want to.
i started this thinking that i'm just going to be a fool who's spitting words on a screen. no one will ever read it, i thought. no one would care.
but people did. you guys did. you read it. you finally showed me that people do in fact care. you made me believe that i'm not alone. you made me feel loved. you made me feel appreciated. and most importantly, you made me feel worthy; worthy of being alive.
i will never be able to thank you enough. i remember every single one of you who commented on some of my poetry, who made me feel loved. i recognize you. i see you.
you. are. not. alone.
you will never be fucking alone.
you may think you are, but trust me, darling, you're not.
i love every single one of you who's helped me with every piece of my heart. you're the reason why i'm trying to recover. i will never forget how you made me feel.
this is not the end. i'm not giving up on poetry. i still have a lot to say.
i am not fine. not yet. but i will be. we all will.
remember, i am so grateful that you're here. i need you to keep going. i need you to go through every single fucking bad thing in your life and come out as a winner. i need you to keep living. i know you can. yes, life can be fucking hell sometimes but show life that you won't give up that easily.
i fucking love you. thank you so much. i hope you stick around with me.
that's all for now.
remember, you don't have to be fine all the time. you'll make it.
i believe in you.
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12/22/19
-lorena
