Dear Evan Hansen: Erica's story

Chapter 8

I clenched my eyes shut as she did that, why Zoe, why? When I opened them again, all eyes were on me and not all looks were nice ones. Mrs. Murphy looked shocked as did Evan, only that's weird because he already knew so I don't understand why he looks shocked... I mean... what! Mr. Murphy looked angry, it was scary as for Zoe, well she was looking at me apologetically, ok she totally meant to spill my news. She is totally putting that look on. I ended up shooting her a glare, it was my news to tell so she should understand why I am pretty annoyed about this. The silence between the five us was not a nice one, it was cold and eerie, I wanted to run but it was as if my feet were stuck to the floor, it began to feel like I couldn't move at all. I was happy when the silence was broken, only, just I wish it wasn't Mr. Murphy. "What did you just say, Zoe? Erica do you want to maybe fill us in on why she would think this? For the love of god, please tell me that you aren't Erica?" I just took a deep breath especially when he practically begged me to tell him that Zoe was making it up, because I knew she wasn't so I couldn't lie, with tears forming in my eyes I spoke up, "I am so so sorry, I didn't think this would happen and I didn't think he would be dead when this happened. I am so sorry." Mrs. Murphy wrapped her arms around me. I knew I was crying at this point and it finally hit me, I was scared and felt alone because I have to go through this without my boyfriend by my side and I am scared of losing my baby or not knowing how to raise one. Mr. Murphy spoke again this time, a little quieter. "Erica, please do not ramble and answer the question, are you pregnant with Connor's baby? Yes or no?" He was begging for a misunderstanding, I could see it in his eyes but again, I had to be truthful and nodded my head, " Yes, I am carrying Connor's baby." Mrs. Murphy gave me a small hug and spoke up, " I am not sure, how to feel about becoming a Nanna, but I am happy for you, Larry and I will support you with whatever you want to do and we would love it if Evan and yourself could stay for dinner." I just smiled and added, "Thank you, it means a lot." At that moment the room went back to an awkward silence, I mean, I didn't really want to stay for dinner but mom wasn't home and I do want to spend time with my girlfriend. I really was undecided but was snapped out of my thoughts when a hand was placed on my shoulder, I was surprised when I saw it was my own brother. "Erica, mom left us Trader Joe's dumplings in the freezer." I nodded and went with what he was saying. "Maybe another night." Mrs. Murphy added. I nodded and left with Evan who was clearly in a hurry to leave.

It took a few minutes for me to come to my senses when we got home but when I did, I gave Evan a huge hug. "Thank you for saving me back there." He just looked at me confused and shrugged as he started to make dinner, "Did you really... really... uh..think that you... ...you...you..could.. Erm... keep this a secret from them?" I just sat down and sighed "No, of course not, I just didn't know how to tell them and now Zoe has accidentally blurted it out, it doesn't make it any easier on me." Evan just nodded and continued with dinner. I decided that maybe now it was time to call Zoe, she technically still was my girlfriend after all and I won't hold tonight against her, I mean at least everyone in the family knows now.