Scientific Crescendo - Book 2: The Genetics Project 🪼✔

33 - Confessions

"How is Uncle Tarot?" Kalij asked as I changed Northern's diaper.
I looked over at him as he swung his legs on the bed. This was going on day four of an excruciating migraine but I just smiled and endured the pain.
"From what Dad told me, it's like he misses part of his memory but not at the same time. It's almost like his memory fades in and out. One moment he'll remember everything that happened and the next minute he is ten fifteen years back and still thinking Dad should be living with him and I'm still five. The doctor said that it's because of the long times when he didn't have enough oxygen to his brain."
Kalij looked down as I finished Northern and stood her up on the changing table. Nausea suddenly hit me and I felt myself lose color and get weak.
"Sim?"
"I'm fine... Here, take North for a second and let me just sit down..."
I walked over to the bed and sat, breathing in and out slowly so that I could gain my bearings and keep myself from throwing up. Kalij looked at me in concern.
"Sim, you hit your head didn't you? When Gerald took us?"
"It was a little bump-"
"No it wasn't. I saw your head bounce. You need to go to the doctor and have it checked out since you're having a consistent migraine."
"I'm fine." I snapped, looking at him angrily. "I don't need you to tell me what to do. I have a baby to raise and college to finish at some point in time."
"I was just making an observation, Sim."
"Keep them to yourself. I'll be right back; don't drop the baby."
Kalij made a face at me as I went to Ichor's room to check on him. Even though he has been normal for a month or so, he still isn't acting himself. He's very quiet and not as boisterous as before and I think it's because he was traumatized. I knock softly on his door and find him staring at nothing on the edge of the bed. I walk over and sit beside him.
"Ichor?"
He doesn't respond and I sigh, hoping that he hasn't lost his mind when I feel him lean over and put his head on my shoulder. I look and he breathes in.
"Dad hasn't said hello." He said barely above a whisper. "He hasn't said a word."
"You said some pretty harsh things to each other before you turned and I'm sure things are a little awkward. He's probably trying to figure out how to apologize and what to apologize for. Sorry for acting stand offish? Sorry for causing you to get kidnapped too? Sorry for not protecting you? Sorry for causing you to go through that horrible transformation? There's a lot of things he can be sorry for, but which one will make things right?"
"I just want him to say sorry... I don't care how..." he said, sliding off my shoulder and laying back. "I don't care how..."
"Do you want me to get him?"
"No."
I nodded and put my hand over my stomach as nausea hit me again. I breathed in and then stood up, leaving Ichor for a moment.

************************

Dad was watching TV lazily on the couch with Mom and I walked in front of them.
"Dad?"
"Yeah?"
"Ichor is uh..."
Dad looked away and sighed. "I've been trying to think about it... I don't know what to say..."
"Just say sorry."
"For what though?" he asked, looking so confused.
"What do you feel you need to be sorry for?" Mom asked, putting her hand on his. "I know things have been rocky but he's just gone through a very terrible and traumatic experience. You were there for Sim the first time, Kalij bounces back pretty well but... Honey, Ichor is right."
"What do you mean?"
"You have some resentment to him. He knows that and he can feel it. Just go and comfort him like you have all the others."
"I- I have not been like that."
"Quit kidding yourself, Dad. You've been like that for a long time without knowing it." I snapped. "It's quite insulting to his intelligence and existence for you to smug him like he's the son of a prostitute or something."
Mom and Dad looked at me in surprise.
"Sim..."
"And another thing, why do you have to be so hard on him? He's just trying to gain your approval because you keep downing him with your eyes and your actions. He just wants to know you love him like you love me and Kalij. You show resentment when you look at him."
"Sim."
"You're never nice to him and you always act like he's not important-"
"SIM!" I stopped and Dad glared at me."That is enough out of you."
"Mad because it's true?"
Tamari looked at me with wide eyes and Dad's fist clenched.
"Sim Burke Leoda, one more word out of you about the situation and I will personally beat the shit out of you."
"What has gotten into you, sweetie?" Tamari asked.
I crossed my arms and glared.
"I'm tired of our family being secretive and mean and hateful. Just let everything come out in the open. Lay all the cards on the table... I'm tired of secret grudges or secret resentments, love that never gets found... Guys, we're a family... We're supposed to love each other and it's not happening." I headed to the door. "I'm going for a drive to clear my head; I'll be back."
I walked to the door and slammed it.