𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑. ( 𝘫𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘯𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘺 )

ONE.

**ANOREXIC THOUGHTS. ANOREXIC ACTIONS. SELF-DEPRECATING THOUGHTS**

NOVEMBER 28TH, 2018. (WEDNESDAY)

Johnny wakes up slowly, still awful drowsy from not falling asleep until really late. He shifts himself on the Curtis' couch, slowly sitting up.

That's when it hit him, the smell of food wafting through the house from the kitchen. In one way, it was amazing but in another, it was sickening.

The air smells of bacon and blueberries, a wonderful combination. Johnny's mouth was unwillingly watering at the smell.

The 16-year-old boy chokes on air and reaches his hands up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He gets up and slowly trudges his way into the kitchen, still tired.

"Morning, Johnnycake," Soda says softly. "How'd you sleep on the couch?"

"It was okay," Johnny murmurs softly, running his fingers through his messy bed head.

"That's good," Soda responds happily, smiling at the smaller boy. "Breakfast should be ready in a few minutes. Could you go get Ponyboy up? He was sleeping when I came out here to make breakfast."

"Course," Johnny murmurs again. "Gimme a minute and I'll be back with him."

Johnny makes his way to Ponyboy's and Soda's shared room, opening the door quietly and walking in. There lay the Auburn haired boy, spread out across the bed in just about every direction.

The older boy of the two smiles and walks over to the bed, taking a seat in the one free spot on the edge of the bed. He gently runs his fingers over Ponyboy's pale back, humming.

"Pone, time to take up," Johnny cooes gently. "Soda's making breakfast and it's one of your favorites."

Ponyboy shifts slightly under the older boy's touch, a small and tired whine escapes his lips. Johnny's lips slowly turn upwards into a gentle smile.

"C'mon, Pony," Johnny tries again. "Don't make me tickle you awake again..."

The younger boy slowly shifts again and sits up, a pout on his lips. He is obviously very drowsy and tired.

"Breakfast is about done in the kitchen," Johnny says. "Soda told me to come and get you up. Now get up and get a shirt on."

Ponyboy nods his head slightly and runs his fingers through his messy Auburn hair, standing up. He stretches, causing pops to be heard from his spine and other limbs.

Johnny stands up from the bed and hums, playfully ruffling the taller boy's hair. The younger yet taller boy whines, swatting Johnny's hand lightly.

"Fine, grouchy," Johnny says jokingly and pulls his hand away. "I'll see you in the kitchen."

The 16-year-old walks to the kitchen and hums softly, seeing Soda finishing up cooking. He breathes in through his mouth and gags, yet his mouth waters.

"Is he up now, Johnnycake," Soda asks him. "Or is his lazy butt still in bed?"

"He's awake," Johnny starts. "But he's really grouchy this morning. He didn't wanna get up and come out here."

"That sounds like him but he'll get over it," Soda says. "He was gonna have to get up at some point."

Johnny nods his head as Soda puts some food on a plate and hands it to him. The tan boy hesitantly takes it and gives a weak smile.

He walks over to the dining room table and takes a seat, sitting his plate down in front of him. Slowly, he picks up his fork and bites his lip.

A part of him wanted to eat it and the other part of him just wanted to push it away and say he wasn't hungry at all. 

Johnny sits there at the table, staring at his food with a contemplating look. After a few minutes of sitting there, Ponyboy walks over with his own plate and takes a seat across from him.

"Are you okay, Johnny," Ponyboy asks, obviously more awake than earlier. "You seem troubled."

"Oh, yeah, I'm all right," Johnny says, giving a weak smile. "I was just thinking about how good the food looks. It's better than anything I could get at home."

Ponyboy nods his head slightly and gives a weak smile at him before digging into his food like it wasn't an issue. Johnny takes a deep breath before using his fork to pick up some food on his plate.

It was hard for him to even look at it, let alone even attempt to put it into his mouth. He glances down at his stomach, which he thought was a bit pudgy.

The 16-year-old finally outs the food in his mouth, slowly chewing. It tastes amazing but bitter at the same time, his stomach and throat tightening.

After a minute of chewing, he swallows and looks back at his plate. There was so much there...

Johnny takes another bite of the food and after that, he couldn't stop himself. With every bite, the amount of food on the plate was slowly disappearing.

The 16-year-old finishes eating and look at his empty plate, feeling his heart sink to his toes. He ate everything on that plate and felt guilty about it.

"I gotta go to the bathroom," Johnny says quietly, getting up from the table. "I'll be back in a minute."

Johnny makes his way to the bathroom, his eyes welling up with tears and his throat feeling tight. He wanted to throw up.

'I shouldn't have eaten that,' Johnny thinks to himself. 'I'm such a pig.'

Johnny slowly breaks down and turns the bathroom sink on, letting the water run loudly. He kneels down by the toilet and his hands shake, tears coming down his cheeks and weak cries escaping him.

The 16-year-old slowly brings his hand up to his lips, opening his mouth slowly. He sits there for a minute before sticking his fingers into his mouth.

'Disgusting.'

'I'm such a sicko.'

'Pig.'

'I'm too fat.'

'I'm so ashamed of myself...'

That's when Johnny finally throws up, the contents of his breakfast spilling into the toilet. He gags at the awful taste and pulls his fingers back, spitting into the toilet.

Johnny slowly stands up and flushes the toilet, walking over to the sink that was still running. He washes his hands and rinses his mouth out carefully.

'Disgusting.'

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Word count; 1040

How was this?

This was really sad for me to write because I know people who have done this to themselves and it's really sad. Hopefully, the chapter was still enjoyable.

Just for information, almost every chapter if not all will have some sort of trigger warning placed us at the top. You do not have to read this story if it triggers you.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter anyway and are all doing okay. I love you guys so much 💞