𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑. ( 𝘫𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘯𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘺 )

FOUR.

** TALKS ABOUT ANOREXIA **

NOVEMBER 30TH, 2018. (FRIDAY)

Johnny Cade fiddles with his fingers on the Curtis' couch, small sighs escaping his lips every once in a while. The boy is tapping his foot against the floor quickly, anxious.

Darry always convinces Johnny to eat dinner with him and his brother and Ponyboy always adds to the convincing. He looks around the living room, watching as Ponyboy comes back inside from smoking.

"What's the matter, Johnnycake," Ponyboy questions gently, taking a seat next to his best friend. "You seem real... Nervous or something."

"Nothing's the matter," Johnny replies, pulling at the sleeves of his denim jacket, hiding his hands. "I always look nervous over something. I'll be all right, promise you."

Ponyboy nods his head slightly and curls himself up against Johnny, resting a head on the older boy's shoulder. Johnny tenses up a little bit, taking a deep breath.

Since Johnny never eats anything and when he does, he just throws it back up, his frame was starting to grow smaller than normal. The lack of food makes him seem like a small child.

"Golly," Ponyboy murmurs gently, tilting his head up a little. "You're awful boney, Johnnycake. I know you don't get much at home but it kind of feels bad this time."

Johnny looks at his younger friend and he could feel his hands starting to shake a little. He was figuring it all out and if he did, Ponyboy would surely tell Darry and put him in the hospital.

"N-nah," Johnny stutters, his heart starting to thump against his chest loudly. "Y-you gotta be just feeling different. I-i'm the same Johnny Cade as before."

The 14-year-old furrows his eyebrows and slowly sits up, obviously noticing something wrong with his best friend. Johnny was always jumpy but he'd never acted this bad except for the last time he got jumped and got his scar.

"Johnnycake," Ponyboy cooes, gently caressing his cheek to get him to calm down. "You know you can always talk to me and I know when you lie to me... You don't stutter unless you lie..."

Johnny's eyes well up and he looks at his best friend with teary eyes, his bottom lip quivering. He hated hiding things from his best friend.

The tan boy breaks down and starts crying quietly, trying to keep his body from shaking. He places his head on Ponyboy's chest, continuing to cry.

Ponyboy pulls the boy close, rubbing at his back gently as he tries to calm him. He wasn't sure of exactly what to do.

"What's the matter, hun," Ponyboy cooes gently, wanting to make Johnny feel comfortable. "We can go to my room and talk if we need to."

Johnny weakly nods against the boy's chest, sobs still racking his body. He weakly stands up and pulls away from Ponyboy, slowly walking to the young boy's room

The 14-year-old jogs behind his best friend and walks into his room, closing the door behind him. He sits on the bed and gently pulls Johnny to sit next to him.

"Now what's the matter with you," Ponyboy asks, still keeping his voice soft. "I wanna help you out and make you feel better."

"P-ponyboy... I-it's hard to even tell you this," Johnny whimpers out, wiping the tears from his dark brown eyes. "B-but..."

Ponyboy nods his head and watches his friend, feeling sympathetic for the obviously broken boy in front of him. He places a hand on his knee and rubs circles with his thumb.

"I-i... I-i have an eating disorder," Johnny says, his voice breaking. "I-i didn't wanna tell you cause you'd se-send me to the hospital. I-i don't wanna go to the hospital... I-i'll never get out of there..."

Ponyboy's eyes widen and his hand freezes against his best friend's leg. His own eyes start welling up at the news.

"How long have you had an eating disorder," Ponyboy asks, using his free hand to wipe at his eyes.

"S-since I was 12," Johnny replies weakly, taking a shaky breath to calm himself. "M-my, mom... S-she would call me fat and said she hated me... M-my dad didn't look at me anymore after he cheated on mama... T-they hated me and ever since they sta-started to call me n-names... I-i wanted to be skinny, Ponyboy... A-and I'm finally losing weight... M-maybe they'll see me as their son again..."

"Johnny, you're perfect just the way you are," Ponyboy says, his voice shaking a little. "You're so wonderful and I think you look fantastic... Don't ever let anyone tell you that you aren't because to a lot of people, you are so good looking and wonderful..."

"Y-you think that of me," Johnny asks, his voice quiet. "I-i'm good looking...?"

"Yes, Johnny Cade and I'm gonna make you see that you are," Ponyboy replies. "I'm gonna help you get better and beat this stupid disorder... I'm gonna do everything in my power to make you feel beautiful... Because you are and you deserve to feel beautiful..."

Johnny almost instantly throws himself into Ponyboy's arms, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Ponyboy holds him close and weakly smiles.

"You know I'm gonna fight with you and tell you things on how I shouldn't eat, right," Johnny asks, finally starting to calm himself down. "There are times I wanna get better and then there are times where I don't want to try... I need you to be there for me and push me towards being better... Are you really willing to do that...?"

"I'm willing to do anything that'll make you my happy Johnnycake again," Ponyboy says. "Anything to make you healthy again... But, I wanna ask... Can I see what I'm working with...?"

Johnny tenses a little but weakly nods, standing up and taking off his denim jacket. He pulls his shirt up and over and his head, holding it in his hands.

The 16-year-old looks almost skeletal and he takes a weak breath, wiping the remaining tears in his eyes. He looks at his best friend who was starting to cry.

"I'm going to fight this with you... Every step of the way..."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Word count; 1052

How was this?

I'm so so sorry for the gap between my updates on this. Writing these chapters take time and it takes a lot of emotion for me since some of Johnny's feelings are my own.

I am kind of going through the same thing (except the abusive parents). I feel so low of myself to the point I've actually left my lunch table at school or left my class to throw up in the bathroom.

I'm trying to feel better about myself and I know it's gonna take time. But anyway, I'm sorry.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)