one direction preferences / imagines

after your suicide attempt

Harry - He takes a hold of your hand and leads you to the car without a word. He was very quiet. He barely said a word to you since he arrived to the hospital, but the expression on his face told you everything. He opens your door and you get in the car. He gets in on his side and starts the car. Still nothing. "Harry please say something." You plead. The silence from him is only adding more tension. You try to grab his hand but he puts it on the steering wheel. "Harry..." You start. "What do you want me to say Y/N? My girlfriend tried to kill herself.... there's nothing to say." He says with no emotion in his voice. You lowered your head and felt a tear come out. You could tell that Harry was sad, disappointed, and most likely confused on why you would do such a thing. To be honest, you never thought it through. "Okay." You sighed. Another awkward silence filled the car as he drove down the highway. But suddenly he pulled the car over. He finally broke. All that filled the car was the sound of crying and sniffling. You didn't move. Just sat in your seat and looked over at him. His arms were rested on the steering wheel, head down. Nothing but sobs escaped his lips. You never really thought about how Harry was going to take it if you actually succeeded. But as you watched him in his vulnerable state, you noticed that you weren't the only one affected by this. You watched closely as he unbuckled his seat belt and slammed the car door. You flinched as his fist came down on the hood of the car. His cries could still be heard over the passing of vehicles driving by. His anger wasn't towards you, it was towards himself for not noticing it sooner. There was nothing you could say that would make this situation better. Not right now.

Niall - The car ride was quiet. Niall was mumbling something to himself that you couldn't make out and you were just staring outside the window. The rain trickled down the windshield and made it hard to see. Traffic was backed up and that didn't make the situation any better. You were afraid of saying anything unsure of how Niall was feeling."I love it when it rains." You spoke up. A small smile forming on your lips."I love you." Niall says as he grabs your hand in his."I know that, silly." You responded. His thumb moved gently on the top of your hand, making you more relaxed. Moments passed of awkward silence and the sound of rain hittig the car. "Y/N..." He started. He took a deep breath."Um... just because this happened... I just want to.. uh... let you know... gosh..." He was taking this to hard. He was trying to hold back tears but they just kept on coming."...you can always come to me. Doesn't matter the time of day. If I'm in a meeting or at a concert. Whenever! Please. I just want you to be safe. I need you to come to me first. Please." He was full on crying now, making you cry as well."Niall, no. No, no, no, please don't cry. I promise. I promise I will never think of it again. I'll come to you." You place your hand on top of his which is on yours. "I love you too much to lose you Y/N." He whispers. "I love you too Niall. I always will." You place a kiss on his nose and he moves down to your lips.

Louis - Louis was understanding. He didn't fuss over it but took you home immediately. After dropping you off at home, he disappeared. It was awhile until you hear the front door open. You get up from your place on the couch and walk slowly towards the door. You see Louis standing there with two bags. "I thought we could play some games and watch a couple movies, if you want at least." He held up the bags and you smiled. He put in a movie and pressed play. You snuggled up to him and enjoyed the comfort you were being given. He suddenly paused the movie half way and looked at you with tears in his eyes. "What's wrong?" You ask as you take his face in your hands. "I... I just don't know what went wrong. Did I do something for you to do that?" Tears escaped his eyes and you wiped them away. "What? No. No Louis, this isn't your fault! No baby, I've just been feeling depressed and you've been away for so long. I just couldn't handle it any more. But now I see that I couldn't have made that decision." "Well you know what. I'm sorry if this offends you but I'm glad you failed. I'm glad you didn't succeed in killing yourself." He grabs your bandaged arms carefully and places gentle kisses to each. Tears fell down your cheeks as you kissed Louis' cheek. He looked up and pulled your face towards his and gave you a proper kiss on the lips. "I love you." you both said.

Liam - Liam was extremely upset. He didn't know how to react or how to act around you anymore. He was gentle, careful not to say the wrong things when he did speak. He couldn't wrap around his head the fact that his lovely girlfriend tried to kill herself. But he didn't ask why. As upset as he was, he knew he couldn't leave you alone. He was by your side. If you had to go to the bathroom, he would check on you until you came out. If you had to take a shower, he would sit in the bathroom and sing softly while you cleansed yourself. The day he brought you home he wouldn't stop touching you. He felt as if you would just slip through his fingers at any moment. You noticed that as soon as you got to your bedroom there were blankets and pillows everywhere, tons of your favorite movies, and your favorite snacks. "Liam..." "I just thought we could take it easy and watch some movies for a couple of days. I already talked to management and told them that I'm taking the next few weeks off to be with you, and I'm all yours baby." He said softly. For some reason, you actually found yourself tearing up."Y/N baby... I'm sorry, did I do something wrong?" He panicked, pulling you into his chest, but you shook your head. "Liam this is perfect... thank you." You pulled back, looking up at him. He smiled back kissing your forehead."I love you... I promise I always will..."

Zayn - He was very protective over you. Knowing that all the hate you had received in person and on social media sites was one of the main causes to this desperate attempt. At the moment, he had no words for the paparazzi or fans who crowded the hospital door. He just clung you to his side, focusing on getting you to the car. You could tell he just wanted to look up and snap at everyone, but Zayn managed to remain calm until he got to the car. The two of you guys, quickly got into the back seat and the door was shut, but not before a couple of rude comments were thrown out. Zayn slammed the door, asked the driver to get you home and turned to you. "Y/N..." He looked at you with wet, bloodshot eyes. "It's not true. Please... Don't believe it. Please. I can't lose you baby... I almost did once, I can't do that again." You were tearing up as the car drove through traffic. "We're going home baby. Where you'll be safe. And I'll be there. All the time. Just you and me." He held your face in his hands, making you focus on him."I can't believe I almost left you Zayn..." You mumbled, the thought hitting you. "Y-You're all I have left Zayn... I can't lose you too." You were holding back a sob, or at least trying. You words were coming out in whimpers."Y/N shh..." He soothed, pulling you closer to him so your head was resting on his chest. "Can you hear my heartbeat baby?" You nodded, closing your eyes and inhaling his scent. "Baby, my heart is yours. It always has been. You're not going to lose me. And I'm not just saying that." His words touched your heart. "My heart is yours Zayn..." You mumbled, truly believing it. "Thank you for being so understanding. I can't be more grateful to have you in my life Zayn..." Your tears began to wet his t-shirt. "I won't lose you Y/N and you won't lose me."