Fleetwood Mac-Part III of Fritz Series

Surprise

October 3rd 1981 (Lindsey's 31st birthday. Stevie and Lindsey's 12th anniversary)

Not the best way to have to spend my birthday, Nova's soccer practice is running long into the afternoon. Sara's working on her homework, AJ's falling asleep in my arms. If Stevie were here she'd tell me to wake him up so he doesn't stay up all night, I don't have the heart. She's the practical one when it comes to the kids, I tend to just give in. AJ wipes his tired eyes leaning against my chest "Daddy is it time to go now?" it's after five in the afternoon, I need to start dinner and get their homework done and packed for the morning. "Nova's still practicing buddy, it won't be much longer. You want some juice?" my youngest lays his head back on my shoulder "Mhmm"

The massive bag at my feet lifts from the bleachers as if by magic, really it's just Sara half paying attention to her multiplication and half listening to me and AJ. She has Stevie's ability to multi-task, something I've never been able to do well. I focus intently on one thing to the point of obsession "Thanks baby girl" she flips her page in her math book quietly scribbling "How come we aren't doing anything for your birthday?" again she's multi-tasking.

"Well we can still go out to eat, how does Johnny O's sound?" sipping at his juice box AJ looks out toward the green of the soccer field. Nova is doing push ups for goofing off again, little does his coach know he enjoys pushups. Him and Jeff do about two hundred a day, they'd probably do more if Stevie hadn't put her foot down "I want hot dogs, can we have hot dogs?" Sara sighs again the spitting image of Stevie, "Daddy I don't want hot dogs again-" neither do I. it's one of the few foods I know AJ will eat without pouting and it's an easy out. Maybe we can go to the drive thru burger place, they have kids meals with hot dogs. Sara and Nova can get something else.

"Well, we can order something else"

"But it's your birthday you should pick what you want, not what we want. That's what you and mommy do for us" my daughter declares in her most diplomatic fashion. It's true. If it were up to me I'd take Stevie out to our favorite place, then I'd take her dancing which she knows I hate but which I do for her once a year. The joy I get from it comes from feeling her pressed against me, whispering to me as our bodies move to music. Later on after a few drinks we'd get a suite at either The Four Seasons or The Palace lock the world out, and make love for the rest of the evening.

But Stevie's been gone for a week, and I don't have that option. So Johnny O's and one forty ounce glass of beer in the hot tub by myself later will have to suffice "I want hot dogs-" Sara sighs again "AJ stop whining" his lip quivers I turn to my daughter "Sara be nice, AJ don't pout" my son turns his attention back to his juice "I don't want anything special, besides it doesn't feel right without mommy here" putting away her finished math problems Sara opens a composition book selecting a pink pen from her case of multi colored drawing and writing utensils, the start of another journal.

"I miss mommy"

"Me too, but she's got to work"

"How come you're not with her?"

Silent I watch as Nova kicks the white and black ball past the goalie, he slides in the grass and my first instinct is to run on the field and pick him up. His distress is short lived as he simply jumps to his feet chasing the other kids back down the field to stay in the game. His coaches look on in approval, he's a natural athlete. "Because I'm-we decided that I should stay home with you guys. It's not fair for both of us to be gone all the time". AJ puzzles the answer to his question. Satisfied, apparently, he returns to his previous activity. Sara of course knows better but doesn't let on. She's the only one of our kids who can actually comprehend why I'm no longer in Fleetwood Mac.