Fleetwood Mac-Part III of Fritz Series

As Long as You Follow

I expected Stevie to bring it up as soon as her parents left, anticipated it really. But as is so often the case of late I was disappointed by her. Granted she's done her best to be in a better mood, and she's still spoiling me every chance she gets, but I want her to be honest with me. I've come to the realization that as much as I want our marriage to work, and as much as I want to keep my family together I can't be with her if she's going to keep things from me. I get why she'd be afraid to tell me the whole truth, but there our marriage is at stake.

The second week of June is on the horizon, Nova's birthday is coming up. He'll be six, next month Sara will be ten and AJ is going to be three in the fall. I want time to stop, but at the same time I can't wait for this year to be over "Lindsey, honey?" a soft wrapping of knuckles on my studio door catches my attention. My feet are up on the sound board, one of my guitars resting in my lap. I'm working on the live arrangement of "Straight Back" the song is haunting and beautiful, it's about me. Or at least I hope so...I'd like to think so.

"What's up sweetheart?" there's a catch in Stevie's voice, her hand drifting to my shoulder as she walks around my chair to face me "You haven't called me that in a while" with a sad smile I strum a few chords the dents they leave in my fingertips old and battered. I've got callouses older than my daughter "You'll always be my sweetheart Steph" her hand feathers over one of my bare legs. From the look in her eyes she wants to talk, maybe she wants to tell me what she told her mother. Resigned I set my guitar aside and drop my feet to the floor. When I do Stevie stands between my legs resting her hands on my shoulders "I love you" her voice quivers.

Close to tears myself I hug her middle closing my eyes as I take in her warmth, "I love you more" hopelessly foolishly slavishly...I love her "I just finished talking to Jimmy...I have to leave for the tour in the morning" that's sooner than I thought, why are they pushing it ahead? "What's the big hurry?" Iovine doesn't seem to give two shits about changing plans last minute, it's just one more thing about the guy I dislike "They've sold out all of my shows, so they've added more dates" my cheeks burn the chair creaking as I sit back.

"What about the kids? Sara's gonna be crushed if you're gone on her birthday. Damnit Stevie-" I can hear myself getting angry so I throttle back a bit "I know I tried to get out of it Linds, but-" she's too nice to say no, that's my job. I feel like picking up the phone and giving Iovine a piece of my mind Stevie's hand strokes across my face "Don't pick a fight honey...please" I'm itching for one. Someone is going to pay for this or someone should. I can't help but think Iovine just wants her away from home generally and me specifically. Fucking weasel.

"I'm not picking a fight Stevie, he said August! We planned on August!" her fingers run over my scalp gently, dropping her voice to a lower pitch she tries her best to placate me "I'm still coming home for our anniversary and your birthday, I'll make it up to Sara" the point is she shouldn't have to. She shouldn't have said yes "Sure" in the living room I can hear the kids laughing. Cartoons blaring loudly her hands move mine to her hips as she steps closer to me.

"I don't want to leave on bad terms with you Lindsey-I've been thinking a lot recently, about everything. What I did was wrong, I don't have an excuse and I really don't want to give you one. Every time I see your face I feel like I have this enormous pit in my stomach, because I hurt you. Lindsey-" something wills me to look up and suddenly my face is trapped between her hands "You're the best thing that ever happened to me, but a part of me has held onto a lot of anger over the years. Anger with your tantrums, all the grass you used to smoke, when you lost it on me after your father died, you withholding your tumor from me, the bad feelings you created during Rumors-" taking a deep breath Stevie rubs one of her thumbs under my eyelid.