LOOK AT ME (Muslim Story)

LOOK AT ME (19)

I sat by my lunch tree, happy, satisfied but also a little bit confused.

There were so many questions Ahmed didn't answer yesterday and so many questions I didn't get the chance to properly ask.

I should've asked him why he's dating that scum bag Mcfuckson. And why he treats me so well now after everything? And when she isn't around.

On the bright side, he called me beautiful. I reminded myself.

I don't understand why that compliment meant so much to me. My dad tells me I'm beautiful all the time. He tells me how much he loves me and how no man deserves a kind but feisty soul like mine. He said that the man that I'll end up with is probably going to have a hard time with me because I'm not an easy tiger.

I liked that somehow.

But it's not the same. When my dad compliments me and when my crush compliments me? Two different situations.

When my dad does it, I'm sure it's because of me, how much he loves me. When my crush does it? It probably means he's into me or maybe is looking for something in me. I don't know.

But if my crush does it, it gives me a whole lot of effect. I'm used to it when my dad says it. He says it all the time so I don't feel bad about myself and so the kids in the school don't get to me. I'm appreciate him.

Yesterday, Ahmed walked me all the way to my house before going back to whatever he was doing before. When we stood by my door, I was hoping he would kneel down, kiss me and finally look at me like in the movies. But instead, he waved me good bye, smiled my way and kept his eyes on the ground.

And now it's another day of school. Another day where Ahmed Wahab May just be with his girlfriend again.

I felt a presence next to me, Colton's skinny figure coming into view.

I was surprised he wasn't with Fatima for once. Those two were like best friends and hung out all the time, it was odd to see him alone. And it was especially odd to see him right here, next to me.

I don't know if you know but me and Colton aren't really friends. We aren't acquaintances either, we don't like each other. Like at all. It's not because he's gay or anything because I learned not to be judgemental in any way. But it's because he's one of the very little people who can either out smart me in mouth talk or have an equally challenged mouth as mine.

And I hated that. I controlled people in the past with my smart big mouth. And now there's two of us.

He huffed when he sat down and looked me up and down right after, "Dont think we 're friends or anything just because I'm sitting next to you." He sassed.

I smirked, looking away. I liked Colton but hated him. Did that make sense? He looks like a good friend, but he also seems like he isn't very accepting of easy to talk to like Fatima.

"But I was raised well," he clicked his tongue, "And respect isn't really something I'm good at but I think I know when it's time to say thank you." He exclaimed.

I frowned. What have I done for him to thank me? "For what?" I asked.

"When that blonde bitch homophobe called me a faggot." He curved his lips in a weird manner as if he's giving me attitude. I just realized that gay boys might just be girlier than girls.

I scoffed, "That was two weeks ago. You sure you was raised well?"

He smacked my arm not playfully because that actually stung.

"I'm serious." he snapped, "I don't usually say thank you. But no ones ever stood up for me."

"Well don't get used to it."