High school diary of Beam (Forthbeam version Completed)

Chapter 29

1st January 2010

“Wake up you sleepy head. Wake up. It is 9’O clock and it is the New Year. You just can’t sleep today. Wake up Beam  or else I am going two kick you out of your bed.” I heard a voice. It didn’t sound like my mom. I pulled my blanket over my head and turned to one side

“Beam .” I heard the voice again...

Who the hell was it? I opened my eyes with much irritation. A white doll was standing in front of me. Oh my god, it was Rome. How did I forget? I had told him that I would go out with him. I had forgotten about it. I was too busy thinking of Forth.

“Sorry Rome, just wait for some time. I will get ready” I said.

“Ok, Ok come soon,” he said.

“Let’s go, Rome” I said grabbing his hand.

“Hmmm… Beam , can I ask you something?” he said.

“Sure,” I said, not meeting his gaze.

“It’s something important,” he said.

What is he going to talk about I wondered. I pulled him out of my home. I just tried to act as if I didn’t give any attention to what he was talking about but I was able to guess that it was about Forth. Something told me that he was talking about him. Just thinking about him made my heart race.

“It’s about Forth,” he said.

I still didn’t meet gaze I know looking at him would give me away. Already tears glistened in my eyes. I am just an open book. I missed him a lot. It made me crazy. I felt like some part of me was missing. I felt like I had no life.

“What about him?” I asked him, controlling my voice, hiding my pain. I wanted to sound normal.

“He texted me, he wished me for New Year,” he said.

“So what?” I asked him irritated.

“You know why I am saying this, Beam . Don’t act smart. I know that text was not for me but for you. He has known me for nearly 2 years and he has not texted me till now except for that message. Are you not talking with him?" he asked me.

I was not able to say anything. I could not find my voice.

“I…I do talk with him.” I forced those words out of my mouth. My throat was dry. I was controlling my tears but I was not able to succeed.

“If so, then why tears are rolling down your cheeks?” he asked me.

“It’s nothing, Rome,” I somehow managed to say.

“Look Beam , I am not going to ask you what the problem is but your face reveals everything and I know that only he has the ability to affect you this much. You are not good at hiding the truth, Beam  and you are terrible with it,” he said.

I was not able to say anything. Only tears rolled down my cheeks.

“Beam  just say something. Why are you crying? You are scaring me. I have never seen you cry, Beam . Just tell me what happened,” he said...

No matter how hard I tried I could not help it and started to cry out loud. Hearing his name made me crazy.

“Beam ” he said in panic.

I cried like a little guy who was longing for the moon. That moment, I realised how much I loved him. How much he affected me. I knew I loved him but I never had the courage to accept it.

“I love him,” I blurted out. “I love him too much. I just can’t take it. I just can’t be there without him. It hurts me Rome” I cried, all the hidden emotion bursting out, like a river which melts and gushes forth from glaciers, due to the warmth of the sun.