small words || jeongcheol

35: parting ways?

"Jeonghan," Seungcheol said as the two went back to the car after spending a while at the cafe.

"Yeah?" he answered, looking at the nurse expectantly. He clicked his seatbelt into place and waited for him to reply. But Seungcheol bit his lip before speaking.

"There's something I wanted to talk to you about," he began, and Jeonghan found himself holding his breath. What could he possibly have to say to him? "It's just an idea, it's your choice what you do," he assured him, "But Dr Kim wondered if you'd like to spend a couple of days back at home. Just to see how it goes."

Jeonghan exhaled sharply. "What?" he uttered.

"Only if you want to," Seungcheol said quickly. "Your recovery has been going really well, and I just thought-"

"Okay," Jeonghan said.

"Sorry?" Seungcheol replied, brow furrowed.

"I said okay, goddamnit!" he exclaimed. "I don't care anymore, send me away for all I care."

Seungcheol's eyes widened and he began to backtrack. "No, Jeonghan, I didn't mean it like that. Shit, I'm not trying to send you away. It's just for a few days to see how you get on."

Jeonghan wasn't looking at him. He didn't want to. The pleasant mood had completely flipped when he realised that Seungcheol wanted him to leave the house. To leave his side would hurt more than anything.

"I said it's fine," he mumbled.

"Jeonghan."

"Take me home, please," he said in a small voice. "I mean, take me back to the house."

"We're not going anywhere until you realise that I'm not trying to get rid of you, Han," Seungcheol said, unclenching his fists from the steering wheel. He folded his hands in his lap and tried to stay calm, because the suggestion that he didn't want to see Jeonghan was hurtful.

"I'll just wall there myself," Jeonghan snapped, reaching for the door handle. But Seungcheol pressed a button on his car keys and the doors locked. "What the fuck?" Jeonghan demanded, his face flushed. "What are you doing?"

"I just want to talk to you, Han," Seungcheol said, his eyes pleading, "I don't mean it in a horrible way when I ask if you wanted to try staying at home for a few days. Really. I would rather you stay at the house... anyway, it was Dr Kim's idea and he said you don't have to do it."

Jeonghan wavered. Seungcheol wanted him to stay at the house? Did that mean he would miss him if he were to leave for a few days? Did he like him, too?"

The long-haired boy shook the thought from his head. "I already agreed," he said softly, "And only because it makes sense."

Seungcheol sighed. "It's up to you, Jeonghan. Really, it's your choice."

Jeonghan gave a small smile. "Then I'll do it. If you think I can."

The nurse beamed. "I know you can do it. I don't even need to nag you about meals anymore. You know what you have to do."

"That's because I'm serious about it," Jeonghan replied, "About recovering, I mean."

"I'm glad to hear that," Seungcheol said quietly.

Jeonghan shrugged. "I don't know. I wasn't happy before, when I didn't eat. So I figured, maybe I should take care of my body before anything else."

Seungcheol nodded, trying not to tear up. But it was difficult.

"Anyway," Jeonghan said, his tone suddenly breezy and carefree. "Can we go back to the house, now?"

"Of course, Hannie," Seungcheol answered.

But they both blushed when they realised he had called Jeonghan that nickname.

They got back to the house and Jeonghan went inside first, heading upstairs, to the curious looks from Wonwoo and Seungkwan. The long-haired boy sat down on his bed and thought about what Seungcheol had said. Going back home should be fine... if it was just a couple of days. Home was familiar, but the house felt more like home than anywhere else right now. Seungcheol felt more like home than anywhere else.

"They're sending you away," Junhui stared as he entered the room, glancing at Jeonghan as he went past. He sat down heavily on his bed, heavy laced boots trailing mud on the floor.

"How did you know?" Jeonghan asked quietly.

"I can tell by that look," Junhui replied. He scratched at his jaw. "It's worse for you."

"Why?"

"I'm not in love with one of my nurses," he said simply, struggling off his black tee and lying back on his bed.

"Look-"

"I don't mean it in a nasty way, alright?" Junhui grumbled. "I'm just saying. They tried sending me back before."

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow.

"It didn't work," Junhui said, closing his eyes.

"Have you got any advice?" Jeonghan questioned.

Junhui sighed. "Only..." he trailed off, rubbing his eyes. "Hey, sweetie," he said softly, and Jeonghan recognised the voice as belonging to June.

"Hey, June," he said, smiling a little.

The dark haired boy gave a sweet grin, before reaching for an oversized pink hoodie and pulling it over his head.

"What did you ask Junhui?" he asked him.

"Just if he had any advice for staying at home," Jeonghan mumbled.

June gave him a sympathetic look. "Remember who you are," he told him. "That's all we can say, really."

Jeonghan chewed on his lip. "What about Seungcheol?" he almost whispered, half to himself.

June came over and stroked Jeonghan's hair. "He'll still be here when you get back."

Jeonghan looked up to meet his gaze, but June was already heading for the door.

"Have you seen Minghao anywhere?" he asked innocently.

"No, sorry," said Jeonghan. He wondered if he should start packing up his things. When would he even be leaving?

"Hannie?" Seungcheol said in a small voice, appearing in the doorway. "I, um, spoke to Josh, and Dr Kim... you can spend the weekend at your mom's, if you want."

Jeonghan looked up at him. Seungcheols heart melted a little. The long-haired boy looked so small sitting there on the bed. He went over to him, and brought him into a gentle hug.

Because he didn't really want to be parted from him, either.

___________________

sorry this took so long ;;;

I'm in the middle of exams ugh and I've got one tomorrow but I can't force anymore information into my brain i just wish i already sat the exam :") I'm so ready to get it over with, but I've still go two more after that rip

oops sorry about the exam rant but I thought I might as well finish off this draft (sorry it is a little shorter than normal!) i have planned the rest of the book and there are exciting things to come so I hope you like it!! this book might also be done by the end of Feb!!!

thank you for the love and support, ily guys ♡

taellipses out x