Hold It In

Confessions

"I like someone else", I accidentally blurted out.

What the hell is wrong with me?! Just tell him Sydney. It isn't that hard.

He laughed. "You came all the way here to tell me that?" I could see the anger in his eyes.

"I- um. I have to go", I panicked. I carefully slid over the balcony again and surprisingly, successfully jumped down safely.

I glanced back up and he was watching me with a mix of anger and sadness on his face. I felt so bad, I feel like the world is turning on me. I'm definitely not having a normal teenage girls life. Or am I, I have no idea anymore.

I glanced at my watch and realized I spent so much time trying to break into Juan Karlos' house. It's fricking 11:15.

(Moments later. Yeah skipping the whole jeep process because nobody wants to read that lol)

"Hi coach!" I exclaimed. I decided not to tell him about the whole JK dilemma. "Okay, Stacy, Edray, and Sydney. You three will be competing against each other", as coach mentioned my name Stacy rolled her eyes.

"Your song is, Power of Love. I know it's a hard song, but you guys are capable of singing this."

I didn't know every lyric to the song, but I definitely was familiar with it. I wonder what Karlos was gonna sing, and who he was competing against.

(Skipping Edray and staceys parts bc Theyre not really important in the story)

I took a very deep breath. Birit time.

"Cause I'm your lady", I sang as powerful as I could. "And you are my man. Whenever you reach for me, I'll do all that I can", I had a hard time singing that line because of such the quick transition of my voice from high to slightly deeper.

"A bit rough, but we can fix it." I nodded and grabbed my phone. 2 Texts from JK? I hope this was good.

I don't think this friendship is gonna work out anymore.

Just forget about me.

I gasped and wanted to cry. I didn't even realize I already was until coach put his hand on my shoulder and asked me what was wrong. "Nothing. I've got to go, it's an emergency", I rushed out the door, not caring about anything else.

Just because of my stupidity I lost one of my most important friends. I don't understand why we wouldn't be able to be friends.

Just because I said I liked someone else, I admit it wasn't my best move, but if he actually cared he wouldn't just dump our friendship down the drain. This was partly his fault.

Why did he have to be such a flirt anyway? If he didn't do that every second of the damn day we wouldn't be in this situation. He can have his Stacy or whoever the hell he wants, I'm done being friends with that jerk.

Because if he was gonna give up that easily, then so will I.

"Hoy!" I heard someone yell. I turned to see Emma and Darren running up to me. I felt tiny drops of water on my face. Great, now it was raining. At least it'll hide my tears.

"Mag kakasakit ka!" She screamed, wrapping her arms around me. Darren did the same on my left and I instantly felt warmer. "Umalis na kayo dito. OK lang ako", I assured them.

We ran to the nearest store which happened to be a hair salon.

We sat down on the waiting chairs, causing them to get wet. "Magpapa gupit ba kayo?" The lady asked friendly. I shook my head, as did Emma and Darren.

"You didn't need to come for me. I was fine", I said sharply. Emma glared at me, "No you weren't. What happened to you?"

"Um guys", Darren said softly. I turned to him and gave him a "what" look. "We have to get home while the rain isn't outing down on us. There might be a huge storm later", he ushered us to get up and we ran to the jeep.

I handed our money and sat back and relaxed. "Officially the worse day ever", I muttered.

We shortly arrived at the orphanage and I went straight for my room. Ignoring anyone that tried to talk to me.

I got dressed in my pajamas and lied down on my bed. Why did life have to be so complicated?

Is it right that people can just leave you like that? I'm tired of being left behind. I wasn't gonna mope about this though. I'm done with that too.

I got up and went downstairs, only to find Juan Karlos, Patrick, Darren, his little sister, Lynelle, and the other orphanage kids in the room.

Juan Karlos glanced at me and I ignored him. "Ms. Danielle. What's going on here?" My voice was a little raspy fork earlier but I didn't care. "Well Juan Karlos is here because he has no guardian at home yet. Darren's here for Emma and the other kids are just here because I'm giving them their extra clothes because they've all wet", she explained.

I nodded and went back into my room. I was not dealing with him right now.

Emma, Lynelle, and Darren entered the room all smiling and laughing. Oh joy. "Yes?" I asked patiently.

"Can Juan Karlos and Patrick come in? They're so lonely out there. Ang sad eh", Emma pouted. I shrugged, "I don't care but keep that jerk away from me."

Before they could protest I went into my covers and snuggled into my pillows. I heard more laughter and the door shut really loudly. My bed was placed right next to the wall so I turned so I wouldn't see any of them.

"What's that?" I heard JK ask, purposely annoying me.

I got up from the covers and stood up. "You're here, in my territory. So don't push me, or I will crush you", I said dangerously.

Emma and Darren looked terrified, Emma knew that when I talked calmly, but was threatening people, it was worse than me yelling.

"That's no way to treat a guest. Don't you have any respect?"

Emma laughed nervously, "Don't push it Karlos."

He snickered annoyingly. "I'm not scared of her. What's the worse she can do? Scratch me with her nail?"

That's it.

It took all my self control not to kill him right then and there. I smiled. Yes, I smiled. "I am so very sorry. I didn't know that I had to respect someone who broke my heart in such a short notice. Even if he knew what happened to me in the past. I just didn't know that it worked like that anymore."

I bumped shoulders with him as I left the room.

I needed to be alone right now. I was so ready to murder someone. But of course I wasn't, I would, preferably Juan Karlos. But I won't. I ran outside, in the rain. Idiotic, yeah, but calming, 

I sat down on the steps, letting the rain fall down on me. "It'll be okay", I whispered to myself. I suddenly remembered everything my mom used to tell me when I felt sad. 

*flashback*

I ran to my mom, sobbing. She wrapped her arms around me gently and kissed my forehead. My grandma had just died then and I felt horrible. "Sh, It'll be okay", she said calmly. "And if it's not, then it's not the end."

*End of Flashback*

I wiped my eyes and started walking around. That jerk, disrespecting me in my own house. 

"Sydney, wait!' I heard Darren scream. I looked back and saw Emma being carried into Ms. Danielle's car. I ran as fast as I could to them and saw Emma passed out. "What happened?" I grabbed Darren's shirt. "She had a nosebleed and then passed out", he stuttered.

I got into the car, not caring if Juan Karlos was next to me. Emma's head was on my lap, feet stretched out. That was legal, right?

"Emma", I whispered. I wasn't going to cry, I was not going to cry. But no matter how much I tried to convince myself, it wouldn't work. Juan Karlos put one hand on my shoulder and gave me a small smile.

'Don't", I whispered. "It's gonna hurt."