My Grade 10 (S.Y. 2018-2019)

9

October 9, 2018

He's absent today, again. We didn't even messaged each other much yesterday. I was hoping that I can see him today at school but no. Completely opposite.

Our science books was given today, I got my book and I claimed his but I gave it to Michole because of the locker thing. We got some group work for tomorrow at English. For music, we had a quiz and sir Brian gave us homework for the first time.

We had lunch at the canteen today. We got a little chitchat with the grade nine student boys while we were eating, we were teasing them because they were targeting the grade ten girls which is our batch.

At Filipino time, we just passed our homeworks to our teachers then discussed about the film we're going to make. For TLE time, our classmate, Irish, reported for today. I didn't pay attention much because I was in between of Jayson and Cogie. Literally.

Cogie doesn't talk to me now. I find it quite funny because you'll never know whether he's serious or not about his mode. I keep disturbing him, making him notice me but he just stares at me. While Jayson, he has my book and my highlighter. He snatched it from me. He told me that he'll highlight the important lines for me so I let him. I was busy making Cogie notice me, I think I've done something.

"Hey. I'm sorry if I ever did something to you." I said as he was just looking at the front blankly.
"Here. Let's shake hands." I offered my hand to shake his.
Yes, he shook my hand but we were still holding it as he just grips it harder.
"Ouch." I made noises that obviously it was hurting my hand. His grip was too tight. I almost fell from my seat just because of the pain. He loosen a bit as he chuckles a bit.
"We good now?" I asked.
"Yes." He said as I gave him a smile but then he suddenly intertwine his fingers to mine.
"What's this?" I asked. He was the only one who's holding but I'm not, I wish I can do this with Aaron. Cogie just smiled at me as I tried to take my hand away but every time I attempt to do it, he always starts to gripping at my hand hard.
"Fine." He said as he loosens the grip but still holding.
"You can take your hand away..." I was about to take my hand away from his until..
"But I'll never talk to you again." That made me surprised so I returned my hand back to his. I sighed as I end up holding his hand too but what I'm so irritated about is that he pecked my hand suddenly.
"Don't do that!" I told him as my brows are narrowed.
"Why?" He asks as if there's nothing wrong with it.
"Because I don't like it and you're not him." I told him. Finally, he loosen his hand but not holding like earlier.

During our history time, while we were discussing in groups. I fell asleep suddenly and I don't know why but I woke up when we were going to start. Then at Mathematics, the teacher gave us our index cards that has our scores on it then she gave us instructions what to do since we'll be recording our grade. Joe distributed it as I received mine and his. Joe even teased that I admitted that I was his girlfriend even though I didn't but so how I wish I was that lucky girl in the future. So impossible, I thought.

I was about to record his grade but when Jayson came.
"Hey boss!" He said.
"Do you have an index card?" He asked then gave it to him. I was really about to record but then called me again.
"What?" I asked.
"Do this for me." He told me.
"Just do it yourself already. I'm recording his grade!" I answered him.
"Oh come on! Please..." He said. I didn't expect he'll said that. He never does. So I gave in then do it for him.
"Thank you." He said then left. I grabbed my phone then started recording his grade for seatworks, activities, quizzes, recitation, and monthly examination.

A smile was put on my face when I saw his picture pasted on his index what I call him even though he isn't. I passed our papers to our teacher then got home.

As I said earlier, we didn't messaged each other much yesterday so now I'm expecting a reply from my message to him yesterday.
"So... You really reply to me when I am offline?" That was my last message to him yesterday and now I got a reply.
"Yes." He replied with just three letters, one word.
That made me stopped for a bit from replying him back, from sending him another message. I don't know why but of course, I feel hurt about that.

Is it better that I'd just deactivate my account?

Is it better that we won't message each other again?

Is it better that we won't talk ever again?

Is it better doing that?

Please tell me.

Do you not like me messaging you?

Do you not like me chatting you all the time?

Do you dislike me so much that you want to refrain me from approaching to you?

Do you dislike me that much that you don't even want to talk to me anymore?

Do you dislike me that much?

Or now, you finally hate me?

Do you hate me?

I know you don't mind these things because you can live even without me talking to you right?

You don't even mind that we don't notice each other, right?

You don't mind it at all, right?
Tell me what you like for me to do so that I can prepare myself.

Are you more happy without me bothering you? Is that it?
Just tell me!