Can and Sanem, a love story

"I will never stop trying"

Summary : Since they broke up, Sanem writes Can a letter everyday. 

If Can doesn't want to listen to Sanem anymore, then, she'll give him a letter everyday. Today is her 18th one. 

"My dear Can,

Today, I saw you looking at me through your office. But you didn't ask me to come. You didn't ask me to bring you tea. I wondered if you noticed my puffy eyes. I cried last night. I cried because I dreamed of you. You were cooking while I was writing my novel. And you were smiling at me. We were at your old house. There were flowers everywhere. God I can still smell it. We were so happy. I cried because when I woke up, my bed was empty, so is my heart. 

Remember that day when I told you that I couldn't create a perfume from your scent ? I was so wrong. Everything reminds me of you. I could make ten perfumes only thinking of you. If my heart is empty, my brain is only focused on you. Everytime you talk during a meeting, everytime my hands accidentally touches yours, my whole body shivers. When I  wash my hair, I can still feel your hands caressing it, when I close my eyes, I only see your face. When I remember your kisses, my lips burn. 

I'm not writing all these letters to make you change your mind, I know now that you will never forgive me. My lies ruined my life. The idea that one day, another girl will get your heart breaks mine into million pieces. I will never tell you enough how much I'm sorry. Is it making any good? I don't know. But I will never stop trying. If the rest of my life is dedicated to you, then be it. For now, you didn't ask me to stop. I take that as a good sign. Or maybe, you've never read any of my letters and you don't even want to ? I come at work early every morning to put them on your desk. Have you noticed that they all have different scents. The camp, the beach, your house, my house... 

Today, I saw you looking at me through your office. But you didn't ask me to come. You didn't ask me to bring you tea and it killed me. It killed me because this was our little moment. I remember that day, when you blew on the scar I had on my knee. Or that day when you told me I was not a romantic person. It made me laugh. Now I'm becoming romantic but it's too late. 

I tried to tell you the truth so many times. And so many times I was so scared of losing you. But what I imagined was far from reality. Reality is worse. Reality means seeing you everyday and not being able to kiss your beautiful lips, to put my head on your strong chest, to stare at you when you explain something to me but I can't concentrate because your gaze is too intense. Reality means my life will never be connected to your life anymore. It means that one day you'll leave somewhere, without me. Can, if our lives take different paths, my heart will always be your house. If you feel lost one day, you'll only have to follow the stars in the sky to find me. We are Can and Sanem, Artemis and Albatros. We are one and will always be. I'm yours forever.

Love,

Sanem"

If Can doesn't want to listen to Sanem anymore, then, she'll give him a letter everyday. Today is her 18th one.  But today, she is reading it out loud wrapped in Can's arms. Her head is resting on his chest. She can feel his heart beating. Today is her 18th one but today is her last one.