Birthmarks and Bruises

The Inevitable Question

Felix had only realised how hot and bothered he'd become when the rain soaked through the thin material of his shirt, the hairs on his bare arms raised by the goosebumps starting to form. He couldn't determine how many days it had been. Maybe, four? Five? Maybe less, and he had been worrying over his parents not being where they usually were. He had been worrying about roadkill on the side of his road. About a small injury on his shoulder.
It was a nice change to feel cool drops rolling down his face, rather than the usual warm saltiness of tears he had grown accustomed to. The last week had felt like an eternity, and yet they still hadn't managed to figure out what the fuck they were doing. The more he thought about it, the more it had Felix quivering with rage.
How dare they suddenly plummet into this new low without anything to hold on to? How dare the lives be taken of people he'd basically grown up around? How dare he be ripped from his family?

With family came the thought of Daniel. His best friend, yes- but practically a relative.
All Felix wanted was to be anywhere but there. But at the same time, it was the only place he wanted to be. Maybe he just wanted to be in the house he'd spent most of his weekends in, on the uncomfortable sofa-bed he'd spent more nights sleeping on than his own memory-foam mattress. But that house was gone, and in its place, it earned the title of 'the building where he had witnessed a life being ripped away'- leaving behind nothing but a bloodless arm and a heartbroken sibling.
Andrea exhaled deeply beside him, rolling back her shoulders and attempting to release the tension in them.
"We should probably go somewhere else before it gets dark again." She muttered, partly to herself. Maxine nodded with short, sharp, robotic jolts of her head. Felix' own neck was beginning to feel pretty stiff, too, after looking down in pity at the mound of dirt at their feet for so long.
Even with Andrea's statement, nobody moved.
Felix willed himself to move even just a little bit, but even his jaw felt rigid and unable to open. Andrea spoke again.
"We still need to get Daniel up."
It was clear she wanted someone to go with her. So, Felix finally swung around much to his own discontent.
"Yeah." Was all he could muster, eyes lowered and raindrops catching in their lashes. "C'mon, Marcus." Felix coaxed, offering a trembling hand to him as he stumbled around in the mud, trying to lift himself up.

It was difficult to determine whether Daniel was already fully conscious or not. He was still in the position they'd left him in, and the rise and fall of his chest was a lot more noticeable. Soft wheezing emitted from his slightly open mouth, lips cracked and blood trickling from a slit in them. His eyes were barely open- and they kept slipping shut. Daniel seemed to respond to the call of his name even if his reaction was delayed and in the form of an annoyed groan. Nevertheless, it lifted the unpleasant thought of another loss from everyone's minds.
"What the fuck are you all looking at?" He muttered after a brief pause. Marcus practically flung his arms around his younger brother, who first let out a shocked exclamation before his face contorted in disgust at the wetness of his clothes. A pair of small arms flailed out, trying to shove his brother away but of course- when it came to Marcus, resistance was futile. Daniel gave up, out of breath. The rest of the party were tense for a moment, Felix awkwardly shuffling on his feet. He knew it would be his job to tell him. Daniel took in gulps of overpoweringly metallic smelling air, finally scanning around the room over Marcus' shoulder. A swift streak of panic lit up his features only for a second before he realised that the beast at the end of the room was inanimate. Everyone was waiting for the question.
"Why are you all looking at me?"
Not exactly the right one, but, just as hard to answer.
What can I say?
"Daniel-" he began. It was a lot easier in his head. The words were there, but it was a matter of getting the right balance. He wouldn't believe him, he knew that at least- but it was a matter of getting him to realise while also not having a repeat of Marcus. It would've been somewhat better if all the sobbing was collective.
Oh, God.
No one should be put through this. No one.
"What?" Daniel's tone had started to sound more concerned than groggy, his lips pulled down only slightly into a faint frown. Felix quickly glanced behind him. Maxine's eyes were more focused than usual, In a way Felix was unable to identify. Andrea was avoiding all eye contact.
"Where's-" Here it comes.
"Where's Lewis?"
What do I do?
It was clear something was wrong. Daniel knew that if Lewis was okay they would've already said so. And so, another, more specific question.
"What happened to him?"
A million ways to say it flashed through Felix' head- a million ways which never would've worked the way he wanted it to. How did people usually say it in movies? How did policemen inform parents of a child's death?
The more he thought about it, he quickly realised that whichever way he phrased the answer, it would invoke the same response anyway.
"Your brother died a brave and noble death." Maxine stated flatly, before adding a mumbled "somewhat" underneath her breath.
Daniel's expression quickly turned from concerned to disapproving in a few moments. "That's really not funny." He replied, peeling away from Marcus's trembling grip. Daniel looked Maxine straight in the steely eyes.
"Daniel, I'm not kiddi-"
"No one who's serious phrases it like something from Game of fucking Thrones." He laughed a little, then. A forced chuckle which came out as a sort of grin-emitted scoff. Felix wanted to step in. Of course he did. But he could say no more than Maxine, nothing more which could either convince or comfort- because, unfortunately, sweet nothings would only bend the truth. Daniel switched questioningly between the four of them, expecting someone to break down in laughter or to find a crack in their sick joke.
He can keep looking, he won't find anything.
Andrea looked as if her neck could snap with how much she was shaking her head, her jaw seeming painfully tense. Daniel shuffled from his slouching position on his elbows, finally resting his gaze on Felix in desperation.
No.
"Felix-"
I don't think he realises.
He didn't bother to swipe the frizzy orange hair from his eyes, hiding behind thick lashes and the droplets of tears catching between them.
Of course he doesn't realise.
Daniel was pleading. Screaming out to him with wide, dark eyes.
What does he say? Play the hero? Take the blame? Apologise? Deny it? Be honest?
It was the same scene from hours before, replaying again before him. The display of emotions he no longer thought of as a one-off. The complete and utter denial behind his eyes, face drained of colour and lips a greyish hue. At least, Felix supposed, it would maybe ground them all a little more. Seeing it again, in every bloody detail. Every loose thread of skin and meat stuck to the already gore-splattered floorboards.
If Daniel seeing the amputated, fleshy limb with its curled fingers stray on his own living room floor wasn't enough to back up Maxine's brutal word, Felix feared nothing would ever would.