Mateless. (katsudeku♡)

explanation.

hello, read this if you want, i don't really mind. it's not an update but this is just something on my mind and something i needed to say.

1. sorry if this is dramatic, i'm tired
2. i literally cried over this because i am indeed a weak crybaby
3. i'm sorry if i hurt anyone's feelings, that is not my intention because i love all of you for supporting me.

my heart was literally broken and stepped on thirteen thousand times with stilettos. all the comments and personal messages i received literally almost pushed me towards deleting the story entirely. and no not all of the comments and messages were consecutive criticism (which i appreciated, it means a lot when you enjoy a story to the point where you make suggestions so dw most of you that commented, this is probably not to you), some were literally HATE MESSAGES AND COMMENTS to my story. i try my best not to let it get to me but i have the lowest self esteem and my writing has always been something i'm constantly down on myself on. I LOVE WRITING. it's my passion and it's everything that i wanted to do, but i have never been so discouraged after a chapter throughout this entire story.

anyway, if you're here to read. hi hello! i'm exhausted but here is the explanation to why i was going to take my story in the direction of the first ending.

for those who didn't know the original ending, the original ending of chapter 25 was going to end with katsuki noticing izuku had a mark on his neck (therefore him finding someone to bond with) if you read chapter 25 a while ago and didn't check back in with it within the last day, then you should probably look back it because the ending did change.

okay now here is my explanation:

izuku and katsuki, yes we love them and we all ship them with all our hearts. i know that, bc i love them too. and yes this is a katsudeku story, i promise. but my type of writing is NOT fluffy whatsoever. i prefer angsty, super snail slow burn, heart wrenching, wanting to cry and stop breathing, literally heart breaking writing. mateless will be going under the same lines. so going into this, i want it to be clear that this is not directed at anyone or certain comments. this is just an explanation so you can see what was going through my head when i made that ending.

so as most of you have read, izuku is in love with katsuki, and he has been for years. he looked over all the bullshit that he was being put through because he was so blinded by the way he felt. the difference between compliments and insults were blurred for him because izuku was so desperately pining for the person that he was best friends with when he was younger.

by the time he ran away to america, that is when he has had absolutely enough with everything. he gave up. he tried so hard to be punched in the gut over and over and over again. after all he has been through in this story, he is allowed to have fun, meet new people, make new friends, go out with other people, but most importantly he is allowed to be happy and find happiness.

being in a environment with completely different people with completely different experiences, it would make sense for him to be involved with different things. yes of course he would still love and miss katsuki. but izuku was literally training and experiencing life in a new lighting. izuku was gone for a year and he had no contact with katsuki whatsoever. i don't know about other people's experiences but based on mine, if you don't talk to someone for a year and are literally thousands of miles away, you'll eventually find yourself not thinking about it anymore.

and if you are still not convinced then put yourself in izuku's shoes. i know that is kind of hard to do because you know both sides of the story but just imagine you only hear, feel, know what izuku does. izuku has no idea that katsuki loves him or the fact that he is his mate. we know through the show and manga that izuku is a pretty oblivious character when it comes to the subject of love. therefore, was izuku just supposed to wait for katsuki to love him? i'm
sure if izuku did know that katsuki was his mate, then none of the marking or anything else probably wouldn't have happened. izuku would most likely try to work things out, but all he knows is that katsuki has a mate and he feels as if he is ruining a potential relationship. he knows he shouldn't be in love with a boy who doesn't belong to him so he tries his best to move on. it would only make sense, trying to be as realistic as possible, that he pick up and do his best to move on. which he did, he found someone that could fill some of that katsuki shaped hole that is in his heart. it is the only logical way for the story to play out, and i'm really sorry if that's not what you guys wanted. but it is changed now so the entire plot is changed now.

so no, to those who said izuku was a terrible person, slut, or even whore. no, he isn't. he is finally learning to put himself and his own feelings before others.

the rest of the story was going to be katsuki pining for izuku to try to make up for all that he has done and it was going to include bits and pieces of fluff. they were always going to end up together in the end.

was the mark real or fake? it's just a question that is left unanswered.

also i left chapter 25 like that because i could easily go back to the marked plot of i wanted to heheh

thank you for reading this if you did, i probably sounded really annoying but i have never been so upset over a chapter before.

see you in the next update. thank you so much for all the support that was given despite all the hate. i still appreciate all my readers and i love you all. i just thought i should explain myself.

-kaychan