Mateless. (katsudeku♡)

Chapter 14

No Vulnerabilities, right?

*

Katsuki Bakugou's POV

"Mom, I don't want to be here anymore."

"You're never here anymore anyway. You always disappear and don't come back until late at night. Can't you see your father and I are worried sick about you?"

"I just can't be home anymore, it's suffocating. I have to leave. Why don't you let me?"

"The fact that you haven't been yelling at me or literally anyone at that matter is worrying me. Do you even sleep Katsuki? Can you at least tell us what's wrong?"

"Me, mom. I'm wrong."

__________

There was only one place I remember feeling pure, genuine happiness. The park I used to play at when I was younger. I've been coming to the park every night now. It was my way to escape from everything. Most days it was empty, but sometimes it wasn't. I would watch as kids play around and reminisce when that used to be Deku and I. Him being my mate confused me too much. I tried to hook up with other girls to make me forget about it. But every time I got close to losing my virginity, I could never stomach going past groping. I couldn't even bring myself to kiss anyone. Something in my gut made me feel like I was betraying Deku in some way.

I was walking quietly towards the park, like usual. My hood was up and my head was kept low. I kept thinking about Deku's secret and confession. Guilt had began to eat at me, knowing he thought him dying would provide me happiness. It was quite the opposite actually. Losing him would break me more than anything in the entire world. It was all my fault. I haven't been eating, sleeping, or going to school. I could never bring myself to do any of those things. Every time I did go to school, I couldn't talk to anyone. Deku would still laugh and talk to his friends. He was happy now and all I do is cause him pain. I didn't like Deku. I think I don't like Deku. I hope I don't like Deku. I hate him, yes. I think I do. I just felt bad for him. This feeling in my stomach was pity. I was sure of it. I know I care about him deep down. I always have. But living in a world were vulnerability can cost you your life, I chose to hide those feelings to myself.

(Flashback)

"Get away from him!"

Smoke and small explosions erupted from my hands. Deku was curled up in a ball behind me, sobbing and telling them to go away. He never wanted any trouble. I guess that made us so different. Three older boys towered over us and laughed.

"What are you going to do Katsuki~ Beat us up? Oh! I'm so scared, right boys?" one of them taunted.

I promised myself I would do anything to protect Deku. It wasn't something that someone needed to tell me. I felt like it was my responsibility as his best friend to make sure nothing bad happened to him.

"Don't you dare touch him!" I responded, "I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU SO MUCH PUT A FINGER ON ONE OF HIS STRANDS OF HAIR! IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO STAND THERE, WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAND THERE AND DIE!"

Well, you see, as a four year old, that was the best taunt I could ever fire back with. I ran towards one of them and tried to fire off my quirk on them but only ended up shocking them with some sparks. Their quirks were not that strong, but they had immense control over them. Their quirks were; Sharpen (to sharpen their fingers into razor-like sharpness, can control how sharp), Hair Control (the ability to control the length of hair, used to trap enemy), and Boost (the ability to enhance quirks or strength for only 2 minutes at a time). I couldn't beat them I knew that, but I would try.