What Keeps You Sane ✔

[-1] Preston & Killian

[trigger warning for this chapter]

Everything was gone. I woke up and ate no breakfast. I went to school and talked to no one. My grade in nearly every class was below a D, including math. There was no way to reduce the stress of those classes along with that. I was a failure. I had a disgusting STI. All of my friends were pretending that I didn't exist. And worst of all, Preston was avoiding me. No good nights, no deep talks, no kisses. It seemed as if all I had left was my pain and my fat gross self. It wasn't surprising that no one liked me. 

I went through my day as usual, lonely and sad and hungry. If I talked to someone, they would ignore me and if I ate something, I would get fatter. Thankfully it was a Friday and I would have two days to rest without thinking about everything. 

After school that day, to my surprise, Preston was waiting at my locker. He was all alone. I walked up to him and looked into his emotionless dark eyes. Everything in me somehow got sadder. "I'm so sorry, Preston," I said in a shaky voice, thinking of how he probably knew what I used to do. He nodded but looked down. 

When he brought his gaze back up to meet mine I could see his emotions perfectly. "You said you weren't ready for anything romantic," He whispered, hurt lacing his tone unintentionally. 

"I wasn't, though. I wasn't mentally healthy enough for a relationship and I'm still not," I tried to explain. Preston shook his head at me once again. 

"Yet you can sleep with three or four guys a night perfectly fine," He mocked with slight anger. 

"That's differ-"

"Don't give excuses, Mara," Preston interrupted. He looked into my eyes deeply. We stood there looking deeply at each other's pain for a bit before he spoke up again. "Why did you do that?" 

"It made me feel better about myself," I whispered, not breaking eye contact. "They would all compliment me while we fucked; and just the fact that they wanted to do that with me is a compliment." 

"If we had been dating I would have treated you like a princess. I would have given you true compliments every day," He said softly. A single tear rolled down his cheek for a reason I couldn't fathom. 

"It's not even what I did that's a big deal, though," I reasoned. "Only the fact that I never told you guys." 

Preston shook his head and looked down again. He spoke once more, tone suddenly icy and angry, "You don't get it, Mara. I loved you and now I can''t see why. You treated me like shit. I know you loved me too, but now neither of us can have each other." 

I choked on his words, tears beginning to form in my own brown eyes. I reached out to stop Preston, but he ignored my gesture and walked away. I then lost it, crying and crying. I had caused all that, it was all my fault, and there was no one else to blame. If I were him, I'd have done that too. 

~~~~

My horrifyingly awful day was only beginning. I began my tedious walk home from school, dragging my feet along the ground carelessly. The all-too-heavy backpack was weighing me down, filled to the brim with textbooks that I had no intention of using. I was tired and alone. Out of nowhere, I heard the frightening voice of my half-stalker. 

"You look so beautiful today," The same weirdo that drove away all friends shouted from across the street. I stopped dead in my tracks, startled. I picked up my pace and started to run upon seeing him. Out of poor health and no willpower, I was ridiculously slow and he caught up to me quickly. 

An intense grip on my upper arm showed that the disgusting man was not prepared to let me go. "I want to fuck you so badly," He murmured, taking his free hand to run through my hair. I jerked my head away from him roughly, trying desperately to get out of his grip. 

"Please don't say that," I whimpered as he held tightly onto my wrist and continued to practically drag me on the sidewalk. His steps were long and fast, making it difficult for me to keep up. I stumbled and cried, yelling at him to let me go. He only got rougher. 

Before I knew it, he had pulled me to the side of a sketchy apartment building next to an almost deserted street. I fought and tried to run as I screamed for help, but the guy was holding me in a steely grip against the harsh textured brick wall. He then ripped my shirt in half in order to get it off of my scrawny body. I sobbed and fought, but gave up when I knew there was no escaping. 

My only hope was that I could at least give him genital warts. He shredded my shorts and panties, leaving me almost bare against the impossibly rough wall. Silent tears streamed down my face as he harshly hurt me inside, somehow tearing me open more than ever. Screaming at the top of my lungs did me no good until I heard someone walking along the street. 

"HELP! Someone fucking help me!!" I screeched, my vocal chords feeling as if they were being torn apart. The footsteps quickened and sounded as if they were coming closer. I continued to scream and cry, not understanding why he wasn't stopping me. The unknown guy was still ripping me apart inside. 

 I turned to head to the side, using up the small amount of strength I had left. It was Killian. Instead of a look of absolute horror on Trinity's girlfriend's face, she looked delighted. Burning tears streamed down my face as the guy let go of me. My nearly lifeless body flopped to the ground immediately. 

"Your turn, Killian," He then whispered in a devilish tone.