The Walking Dead

Chapter 22

I woke up a total of nine times that night. I saw Sophia getting bitten over and over again. It wasn't pretty. I woke up crying, every time. Daryl tried to comfort me, but I couldn't accept it, I'd just roll over. The sun pierced the flimsy layer of the tent, shining directly in my eyes. I groaned, rolling over. My body met Daryl's, and instead of jumping and shouting, I just let myself relax into him. 

Just this once. I thought, letting out a sigh and burying my head into Daryl's back. I didn't fall asleep, I just closed my eyes and let go of the worries I had. My fears, everything that was clouding my mind, I let go. I wished I could stay like that forever, especially since I know what's out side of the tent. 

I didn't want to face the reality of what happened last night. The events that had happened were seared in my brain, there was no doubt about that, but I wanted to hide out a little bit longer. In all honesty, I wasn't looking forward to seeing Carol that much.  I had no idea what she would do. Would she attack me verbally, or physically? Would she try to apologize for her harsh words yesterday, or would she act high and mighty and spit more at me? 

In reality, I was hurt that Carol could lay a hand on me and say the things she did. I had tried my hardest to reach Sophia but I- 

My  thoughts were cut off as I took a deep breath, holding back tears. I had tried my hardest to reach that little girl. If anyone was to know that, it would be me. I would know how hard I had been running. I almost fell on my way to get to her... But it looks like my efforts were in vain. Sophia was still bitten. She still died. 

And I couldn't do anything about it. 

I took a deep breath and stood up. "So you're awake." Daryl mumbled and rolled over, facing me. I fought down a blush as I sat down, crossing my legs. That meant Daryl had been awake when I had cuddled up to him, burying my face between his shoulders.

"Yeah. I woke up a bit a go." I answered quietly, looking at him hesitantly. 

Daryl nodded, trying to blink away the sleep in his eyes. I nodded once at him, then turned and walked out of the tent, into the blinding sun. I stood in front of the green tent, looking around the camp. At the sound of rustling coming from behind I stepped a side, anticipating Daryl to come out. He did, standing beside me, his shoulder just barely brushing against mine. 

I took a step forward, my eyes roaming around the clearing. There was still blood staining the grass and their were even some bodies left over. As if by their self, my eyes drew to the spot Sophia had been bitten, suffered, and eventually died by my hand. I came to a stop, and I stood there, staring at the spot where she had died. 

I could see the scene clearly in my head. The tears shed by myself and Carol, the blood, everything. I watched as if taken back in time as I stood from Sophia's side, raised my gun, and pulled the trigger. I flinched, hearing the loud bang echo throughout the camp, even though I knew that the sound was only in my head. 

I watched myself as I collapsed on the blood-soaked floor, gut-wrenching sobs racked my body. In the present, my throat constricted with grief as I watched myself. I must have looked like a complete idiot, standing alone in the middle of camp, staring at a simple blood stained spot, about to have a break down.

But I couldn't bring myself to care. 

"Faith..?" Daryl's hesitant voice brought me out of my reverie, and with automatic movements, I turned to face him. "Are you alright?" He asked softly.

I nodded my head at his question. We both knew I was lying, it was plain as day to see. I was broken, and nothing could fix this. I'd just have to go through the emotions of grief. Daryl led me to the camp fire. The circular pit was just a pile of charred coals now. I sat down on one of the logs, and Daryl sat next to me. 

He grabbed my hand and rubbed comforting circles, offering his support. I wanted to smile, but my lips wouldn't comply. I just stared listlessly into the pit. I was so lost, I almost missed Carol come out of the tent with Lori by her. 

Almost.

"Why does she have to be here?" Carol spat in my direction. "Why is she even allowed to still be in the group?"

"Because she hasn't done anything wrong." Daryl spoke up, defending me. 

"That's a lie!" Carol shrieked. "She let my baby girl die." I bit my bottom lip so hard, I could taste the metalic tang of blood after a few moments. 

I stood up from where I was seating and turned my empty and broken gaze on Carol. "Don't. Don't say that I let Sophia die. You have no idea how hard I tried to reach her before the walker bit her. You don't know anything about what happened. Stop blaming me for something that I couldn't control. Where were you when your daughter was getting bitten, huh? I didn't see you fighting walking corpses. I didn't see you any where.

"You were the woman that carried that child in your womb for nine months, and raised her. It was never my job to keep Sophia safe. I was not her mother, you were. It was your job to protect her from whatever could happen. So don't blame me when I was  trying to save her. Blame yourself." I wanted to shout at her, but I couldn't. My voice seemed to fail me, so I was left to say what I thought in an empty voice. 

I didn't care that what I had said could have offended her or hurt her. She had physically hurt me. I turned away from the few people gathered there and picked up my bow before heading into the forest.

I needed to let off some steam before I completely blew up and got myself kicked out of the group.

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Sorry these chapters are coming really slowly. I seem to be having more trouble with writing this story the further it develops. I'll try to write more often for you guys, but school is starting up again soon. I'll try to update once more before school begins. 

Thanks for your patience.

xoxoThree.