The Walking Dead

Chapter 23

It was dark by the time I got back to the camp. The fire was blazing with the soft crackles of wood being burned, casting a soft glow on the faces of the survivors. I walked back to the camp, tossing a few squirrels and a rabbit on the ground in front of Daryl, before I started on my way to the tree I hadn't slept in for a while. I started climbing, reveling in the feeling of the rough, brown bark pressing roughly against the pads of my fingers.

It was refreshing to know that the feeling of tree climbing was still the same, even if the world was falling apart around me. I propped myself against the trunk of the tree, resting my sore back against the slightly mossy trunk. I set my bow on the branch hanging slightly in front of me, and closed my eyes with a tired sigh. I looked at the stars, and my eyes teared up slightly as I looked at the twinkling balls of gasses. 

"Hi, Mum." I whispered, staring at the brightest star in the inky darkness of the night sky. "It's been a while since I talked to you... I've been okay. Well, I was okay. I met someone. Believe me, I know how crazy it is to meet somebody in this world. But he's good. He's nice. His name is Daryl. He uses a bow too." I sniffed, smiling shakily as my eyes over flowed with tears. 

"He's good to me. He has - well, he had a brother. His name was Merle. He was pretty much a jackass." I barked a quiet laugh. "But he had one time where he wasn't rude. I taught them how to dance, Momma. I paired Merle and Andrea together, and they danced. For the most part... but I taught Daryl how to dance. I taught him how to dance, and he kissed me. And I felt happy. I was happy, Mum. I was so happy. I saw a life after all of this.

"But yesterday..." My heart clenched, and a few tears slipped down my cheeks. I bowed my head. "Yesterday, we were attacked by a herd of walkers. There was a little girl, her name was Sophia. She was Carol's baby girl. Carol and Ed's, but God knows Ed didn't deserve the family he had. She was the cutest thing... she had blond hair, and the brightest blue eyes. If we weren't living in the world we are, she'd have become someone. She would have gone far with her life.

"The week before that, a small swarm came. I was able to fight them off... but Sophia almost got bit. I saved her. That time. She was safe, for the time being. And I realized at that point, I cared for Sophia. I really did. But yesterday... I wasn't quick enough yesterday. she got bit, Momma." My chin trembled, a sob escaping my lips. "She got bit, and I - I didn't want her to be one of them, and I... I killed her, Momma. I killed Sophia. Carol wouldn't do it, she couldn't... but I did. I shot and killed a little girl... and I couldn't save her.

"Its all my fault. It's all my fault. If I had run faster, I could have gotten to her quicker. I could have shot the walker, and she could still be alive." I sobbed. "And Carol - Carol blamed me. She blamed me for Sophia's death. She said if I had tried to get to Sophia harder, she'd still be alive today. She said I let Sophia die. She hates me now. I don't blame her, but she hit me. She slapped me, and Daryl tried to defend her.

"I blame myself for so much already, why do I have to add to the list? Sophia wasn't my daughter. She was Carol's. It was her responsibility to keep Sophia safe, and she failed. So why do I blame myself?" I brought my hands up to my face, sobbing into them. I missed her. I missed my mum. I missed the woman who brought me to this Earth. I missed her. I missed her so much. My body shook with the force of my sobs as I did my best to keep them quiet.

"I didn't know you talked to your mom through stars." Daryl's quiet voice said.

I shrugged, sniffling. "I used to. Every night I'd look at the stars, and I'd choose the brightest one and say that one represented my mum. And I'd talk to her for hours. I'd tell her my thoughts, my feelings, what happened that day. Everything. That star was my journal entry for the night. So, I guess if you look at it in a different view point, the night sky is my journal." 

Daryl didn't answer me for a while, and we ended up sitting in the tree with a somewhat comfortable silence draped over us. Eventually, Daryl spoke. "What you said to your mom about me..." His voice was quiet, "Was it true?"

I nodded, then remembered he couldn't see me through the darkness, and especially not through a thick tree trunk. "Yeah." I whispered. "Yeah, it's all true." 

I couldn't see him, but I knew he nodded his head at my words. He didn't say anything though, and that concerned me the most. He didn't say that I should give up on the feelings, they are useless. He didn't say that he felt the same way. Just... silence. 

"Why are you even in the tree, anyways?" I asked.

I heard the rustle of fabric against the trunk, almost as if Daryl had shrugged. His voice followed shortly after the noise. "I dunno. You didn't say anything. You just... dropped of the game and went up here." 

"That doesn't answer my question, Daryl." I muttered.

"I dunno." He sighed. "I just... came to talk."

"Okay." I answered softly. 

I turned my head to face the stars again, feeling the dried wetness of tears on my cheeks. I closed my eyes with a sigh. Daryl and I talked for a bit more, but I didn't last long. The exhaustion from crying earlier before had gotten to me, and I found my eyes drooping as the night progressed. I managed to tell Daryl that I was falling asleep before my head fell forward, and I started drifting off. 

Right before sleep claimed me, I could have sworn I heard Daryl whisper, "I feel the same about you, Faith."

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