The Walking Dead

Chapter 24

After that night in the tree with Daryl, I suddenly stopped talking. I don't know why, maybe it was that the grief got too much to continue on with life as normal, but it seemed that I shut down completely. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep because when i closed my eyes, my dreams were plagued with nightmares, and I could hardly drink some water. 

It was safe to say that my body seemed to fly on auto pilot. I didn't want to be a shell of the person I am caused by grief, but I guess it was bound to happen some time. There was one thing that broke my heart the most. It was that Daryl didn't leave me. He tried to get me to eat or drink water, even sleep every day. 

He tried talking to me, and even went as far as having conversations with himself, imagining that I was answering his questions. I spent  most of my time staring at nothing with a blank gaze. I could hear what people say, and I watched them, but I didn't - couldn't comprehend what they were doing. Daryl would bring me whatever food was scraped up, but I would never acknowledge his presence. He'd give me status updates of how everyone was doing, but he I noticed left out Carol when he was telling me how everyone was coping. 

He didn't have to tell me what she said, I could hear her the whole time. She didn't try to make it quiet when she ranted, or talked about me. She made it unbearably obvious when she was speaking about me. Normally, whenever I was brought up in a conversation, or she would talk about me, She'd blame me for Sophia's death, even though I was the one who had tried to save her. 

And what has Carol tried to do anyways? From what I could recall, Carol hadn't even run towards Sophia when she saw the walker. I'm not pointing fingers, or accusing anyone, but Carol could have done something other than stand there and watch.

Everyday, Daryl would visit. He'd sit and talk to me for hours, having imaginary conversations. I think that in his own way, Daryl had lost it himself. He was still functional, and working, but around me, he seemed to break down. Most of the one-sided conversation was just him asking, begging, pleading for me to come back, be better. 

I understand he was missing the old me, I was too, but I was too lost in grief to respond to any of the things he was doing to try and fix me. I hated myself for how weak I was being, and for how I was reduced to what I am now. It was pathetic. I was pathetic. I needed to move on from this girl. She was not my daughter, she wasn't my little sister, she was just a kid I had met a while ago... so why did I finally break at her death? 

It made no sense, and I was in no shape of mind  to think everything through and come up with a logical answer. I lost track of the days I spent in this state. It was a living hell, and I couldn't escape it no matter how hard I tried to get back to how I was. Time seemed to pass, at times, in years, but other times, it passed by as if every second was a year long. 

Eventually, Daryl stopped talking to me, bringing me food, water, trying to fix me. It was almost like he gave up, but the thing that hurt more than knowing he had given up on me, was that he went to Carol, and started comforting her. I already wasn't doing too well in the mental area, but now I had a broken heart. 

Even though I had treated Daryl horribly when he tried to fix me, I never thought that he'd leave and go to Carol... that hurt me the most than anything ever had. The pain I faced as a child, the loss of my mother, the torture my own father put me through... It was nothing compared to the ache in my chest as I watched and listened to Daryl and Carol. 

If anything, he made me worse when he left.

The days and weeks blended together, and I didn't get better, or worse. I watched as Daryl and Carol grew closer, and I watched as they healed each other. Slowly, but efficiently. It seemed like Daryl just... forgot about me. It seemed like he had focused everything on Carol, and didn't even remember me. 

I had lost everything I cared about most. 

But then something changed. Lori walked up to me. "You need to get up. Stop moping about. Sophia has been dead for months, Faith. It's time you moved on. Daryl has tried to cheer you up by being gentle, but it hasn't worked. So I guess someone has to be the bad cop, and I guess that's me. You need to move on. You've lost Daryl, and Carol took him. You can get him back. You just have to come back to us. Please, Faith."

My eyes were distant and empty, but I could hear her loud and clear. "I don't know what you expect me to do, Lori." Even my voice was empty.

"You need to snap out of this. It doesn't have to be an immediate recovery, but at least try to get better."

I didn't answer her, but my gaze moved to Daryl and Carol. When Lori didn't get and answer from me, she started to get up.

"How do I get him back?" I asked quietly. "It's so bluntly obvious that he loves her... He's forgotten all about me. Anyone with even one eye can see that.." 

I watched Lori as she floundered for an answer, her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. Finally she sighed an answer. "I don't know... He still talks about you to me. Sure, he may have feelings for Carol now, but he still loves you. I would know that." Lori cast a glance over at Rick a faint smile shadowing her lips. "You can't give up. Love finds a way."

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Hi! i'm so so sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been working hard to stay caught up in Maths, and school itself. I've also been having trouble with writers block, but I'll try to update more often if I can help it. 

xxThree