Mine

Chapter Seven

Strange what desire will make foolish people do...

Miray meets Boran at his apartment. He texts her back almost immediately and it's like the universe is taking no chances that she will have enough time to change her mind.

"What happened?"

She assures him nothing is wrong, though that isn't true. Everything is wrong and he's the only one that can make it right.

He rents an apartment in the city. He has no interest in owning anything so permanent as a house, though she knows he's building a studio outside of Istanbul so he can paint with quiet and better natural light.

Miray has a moment of paranoia that anyone will see her entering Boran's building. The Turkish tabloid media is horrendous and she questions the wisdom of what she is about to do for the hundredth time. Even when they were 'just' friends Boran was always a little paranoid about having conversations over text that were too personal because he fears his phone getting hacked. It happens all the time in Hollywood, he reminds her when Miray or any of their other friends teased him about it. Dear God, if anyone knew what she was doing here now... but Miray has to weigh that risk against what is burning through her. Everything within her aches for this man, for this one selfish thing she can have for herself that can make her whole.

Boran opens the door, concern etched on his beautiful features and Miray is suddenly at a loss. She has absolutely no idea what to say to him. He towers over her in a grey tank top and black jeans. His top is streaked with paint and his jeans are torn at the knees. His hair is pulled off of his forehead, though a few stubborn curls have escaped. He's barefoot and she realizes he's been painting.

"What are you working on?" She asks him.

He looks at her in confusion for a moment but moves back so she can come in. She hasn't been here often. He's more likely to meet his friends in their homes or at some outside location than to invite them into his space. He's sociable, but on his terms. Miray spots the canvas by the window and goes over to it. It's the ocean, but it's not a tranquil scene. The sea is raging, almost angry. It mimics the storm inside of her so perfectly that Miray shivers.

"What is it, Miray? Is something wrong with Alihan?" Her heart warms that barring any injury to her, his next thought would be for his son, unknown to him.

"He's fine," she assures him softly.

"Sweetheart, you're freaking me out, okay?" He turns her to face him, his hands gripping her shoulders.

"Do you remember when you told me you never wanted to get married?" She says, stepping out of his grip.

He blinks, his face flushing suddenly, uncomfortable.

"What if I said I accept that?"

Boran looks at her warily, shaking his head. "I don't understand."

"What if... I said , if that's the only way we can be together, I accept."

Something flickers in his eyes then, something hot and hungry but he quickly stifles it as if he's certain she can't mean what he's thinking.

"Ever since that night, Boran-"

He lifts a hand to stop her and steps back. "Miray. Stop. Whatever you're going to say, don't, for both our sakes."

He looks positively terrified of her in that second and Miray almost finds it comical.

"You're going to go home to your son and your hus...band and we'll pretend this conversation never happened." Boran moves towards his door to open it but she steps in front of him and he inadvertently pushes her against the door. The sense memory rocks them both. It's too close to what happened the night of his birthday and Miray's body instantly grows warm and damp. The memory is there in Boran's eyes too but he pushes away from her quickly.

She takes his hand and lifts it to her mouth, kissing the palm. "Don't send me away. Not when I can see you don't really want me to go."

Boran pulls his hand back and give a bitter laugh. "What I want has absolutely no importance here. We can't open this door again because it's just gonna be that harder to shut it, Miray."

"I'm tired of ignoring how I feel, Boran. I thought that I could just forget what happened between us and just go on with my life but, that night changed me. It's like... I'm a completely different person now and I can't go back."

He closes his eyes and shakes his head. "I'm sorry. God I'm so sorry for that night-"

"No!" she pushes at him. "I don't want you to be sorry because you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I don't regret it. Not one second." Especially not when she looks at their beautiful little boy. "You didn't do anything to me, Boran. We did it together. Equal responsibility. Now... we can have something if you want to. We can have it again."

Boran stares at her. "Are you saying you're going to leave Kubilay?"

Miray swallows, a lump of panic rising in her throat at the thought. "N..no. I love him..." But she wasn't in love with him. She knows the difference now. "I just...I can't deny how I feel about you and I don't want to anymore. You say we have no future. Okay, then nothing has to change. Not really. Our lives can go on just as they are and-"

He falls onto the stool in front of his easel. "Are you talking about an affair, Miray?"

It sounds ugly, sordid and Miray wants smack him for using the word because her feelings for him are neither. She goes to him and takes his face in her hands. His eyes are moving over her. "I'm talking about giving in, giving in to this thing that lives between us that we've ignored for too long." She presses her forehead to his and feels him tremble against her. "It's still there. I see it in the way you look at me. I see it in how you look at me now. I try and deny it and I feel like I'm losing my mind-"

"Are you certain you haven't already? Miray, what you're suggesting is insane. If anyone found out-"

She's tired of all his logical arguments. His reason. Miray presses her mouth to his in the hopes that he will see what the real truth is. The feelings that well up inside of her when he touches her. That is the only truth she can see.

She feels him groan into her mouth and can feel his resolve weakening. His fingers move into her hair and her heart races when he pulls her closer for a moment before tearing his mouth from hers with a growl and backing away from her.

"No. No...I can't do this to. I won't. I'm not that much of selfish bastard to make you betray your vows when I have nothing to offer you. I can't make you any promises."

"I know that," Miray said. "And you're not making me do anything. I want this. Stop fighting it when you remember how good it was." She decided to go full on assault and slipped out of her shoes. "I remember every second, Boran. How you touched me. What your mouth felt like on mine. How you felt inside of me." She goes to the straps of her dress and pulls them down watching him watch her, brown eyes hot with the things he is trying to deny. "Every single moment is etched in my soul."

He doesn't move but his eyes follow her movements and she feels it like a physical touch. There's the briefest moment when she remembers that though she's fit though not a gym rat and her body is maybe a little curvier than other actresses, it's a bit rounder now since the birth of her son. The hunger in his eyes vanquishes any doubt in her. He's looking at her like a panther, resisting the urge to pounce, tight with so much tension he practically vibrates with it.

Miray swallows, naked now. She steps towards him, places a hand on his chest and watches his throat move. "I feel like I'm torn in two and you're the only one who can put me back together. I need you. I don't care if this is all we can have, Boran. I want it. I need you. Say yes. I'll come to you whenever you want."

His chest rises and falls as his breath quickens. She presses her mouth to the open space above his shirt, and he swears. She looks down and can see his erection straining against the front of his jeans. Miray boldly slides her hand down and cups him, her core tightening in sense memory of what this feels like inside of her.

His hand dives into her hair and he snaps her head back to look at him, and she feels a moment of triumph as the wild look in his eyes tells her his restraint has snapped and he gives in.

She almost comes the moment his mouth crashes down onto hers.