Mine

Chapter Eleven

My wildest dream come true would be you...

If Kubilay is not home, Miray can almost pretend. Boran is in her home, on the floor with Alihan, playing with him and she can almost pretend they are the little family she wishes they were. Her sister is watching her and Miray wants to tell her to stop because their mother is here with them and she doesn't want her mother to wonder about her sister's behaviour towards her.

Her mother is there to watch Alihan for the evening as Miray, Boran and her sister are attending one of her sister's exhibits for her latest fashion collection. While the event is not exactly child friendly, Miray is also glad for any reason to keep Alihan out of the public eye for as long as she can.

The demands for pictures came pretty much as soon as Miray and Kubilay left the hospital. Kubilay agrees with keeping the little boy out of the media spotlight. She isn't sure if his reasons are the same as hers. Does he see it? Does he see the resemblance? She knows the speculation will start as soon as the media gets one shot of her little boy and she wants to protect her little one from that horror for as long as she can.

She watches as Boran blows raspberries on her little boy's tummy, making him squeal with delight and twist and turn on the floor to get away, even as he clutches Boran's hair to keep him there. He's going to have to fix his hair again but if he minds, Boran gives no indication. He's so good with him, Miray thinks and feels her face grow hot as emotion wells up in her throat because Boran can't see what a good father he would be.

Miray looks away, and focuses back down on the pieces of strawberries and bananas she's cutting up for her little one. Her sister gets off her phone. "Okay, crisis averted. Zehra's doctor cleared her for the show tonight. I was so not looking forward to having to deal with Azra to lead the show if we couldn't find anyone else. That girl's such a high maintenance bi...ppy, " Ipek catches herself quickly with a glance at the baby, making Miray smile.

"Can you say bippy, Alihan?" Boran asks, sweeping the boy into his lap as Miray heads over with the plate.

"No," Alihan replies shaking his head.

Boran fights a laugh. "I can respect a man who knows his limits. Can I? You can start getting ready." He reaches for the plate in Miray's hand.

"Oh...um...okay," she says.

Ipek invited Boran to her show and since Kubilay is shooting late into the night, Miray offers to give Boran a ride with them while his own car is getting repaired. As much as she loves having him here, it's a bit of a relief to have a moment to herself as she starts to get ready. She lifts the red dress she has hanging behind the door and rests it on the bed. Miray goes through the ritual of hair and makeup, tricks she's learned from makeup artists on set over the years. Don't over do it. There's no need even though she wants to look pretty for him. For the event, yes, but she doesn't fool herself. Every stroke of her makeup brush, every slick swipe of wine coloured lipstick, every curl of the hair she leaves down because that's how he likes it best, is for Boran. The look on his face when she finally comes back down, worth it. So damn worth it because he gives her a look that thrusts straight between her legs and sets her entire body aflame.

"Ooooh, Mama!" Alihan exclaims, reaching for her, straining away from Boran's arms.

"You look beautiful," Boran whispers when she comes close enough to gather her little boy up in her arms.

She notices the plate resting on the counter. The strawberries are gone but the bananas are all still there.

"You finished all your strawberries for mommy. Good boy." She strokes his tiny cheek. "But what about the bananas, hmm?"

She picks one tiny piece up out of the mush he's made of most of them and he shakes his head.

"No, no, Mommy." Alihan blows a raspberry at her and then buries his face in her neck.

"Pretty much the same response I got," Boran says slowly. His tone is amused but his eyes are intense on hers.

Her world goes slightly blurry as she realizes why he's studying her so intently.

Bananas.

On set she had offered him some of her smoothie a few times and he would comically stick his tongue far out of his mouth and scrunch up his face when she told him they had bananas in them. He hates bananas.

A cold fist twists in her stomach even as her face flames and she can't look at him. She kisses Alihan's cheek and hands him to her mother. Her little boy whimpers and stretches back towards her. "Mommy will be right back. Promise." With any luck, he'll be fast asleep soon and won't give her mother an ear splitting headache with his crying because Alihan recognizes by now that her fancy look and shoes means Mommy's leaving the house.

"Mama!" He wails, starting to cry in earnest now.

"Go, go," her mother insists motioning towards the door.

"Aww, don't cry, little one-" Boran reaches to stroke his cheek, but Alihan slaps his hand away and tries to look behind him for Miray.

Miray doesn't see his face, but she sees his back stiffen and she feels something painful in her chest, wondering if Boran is hurt by the little boy's rejection. Probably not, she thinks. He likes the boy, but while Miray may wish for Boran to have some kind of fatherly feelings towards Alihan, she knows he doesn't. He told her so. Marriage and children are not for him. Miray does see something cross her mother's face, a flicker of curiosity that makes Miray nervous so she touches Boran's arm and urges him to follow her out. His face gives nothing away and so she's sure she's right. He didn't take the boy's act to heart.

She can still hear Alihan crying as they make their way down the hall and out to the car. Miray's sister takes the passenger side while Boran gets in the back behind Miray's driver's seat.

Miray's eyes drift to him in the rear view mirror often. There's something there in his eyes even as he tries to give her a small smile. Something dark and yes, hurt.