Mine

Chapter Twenty Seven

If you wonder about the spell I'm under. It's your love...

"How do you feel, sweetie?" Miray asks stroking Alihan's cheek. His dark eyes, Boran's eyes, are glassy from the drugs moving through his tiny body.

"Woo woo," Alihan says lifting his little hand and tilting it up and down. "And I see three mommies." That he adds with a little giggle.

Oh that laugh. How she missed that laugh.

Miray's eyes fill with tears and she leans down and kisses his cheek. "You're not in any pain?"

"Oh no. Little bit sleepy."

"That's okay. Sleep, sweetheart. Mommy will stay right here."

*Where's Da..." Alihan stops and a cloud of something moves over his face. His lower lip quivers. "Mommy...they said... Daddy's my daddy right?"

The air sucks out of the room and Miray coughs. "Who said what?"

"Ahmet and them. They said their mommy and daddy said it. I know it's not true. I know it's not! I said so but they said you lied and everyone knew cause...cause..." His face is serious and his eyes lose some of their glassiness, clearing a little.

Miray can not breathe. She wants to smack the children who put these doubts in her little boy's head. She wants to slap the parents for gossiping about her where their children could hear. "Because why?" She forces the words past her tight throat.

"Cause I look like Uncle Bobo," Alihan replies lifting his hand to his head, his eyes widening when he doesn't feel the curls he expects. "Mommy! Where my hair go? I'm a baldy head!"

Miray smiles and rushes to reassure him. "The doctors had to shave your head but don't worry it'll grow back."

"Oh. Okay. Yusuf is a baldy head too and he lets me rub it for luck. My head is lucky now too, huh?" he asks, referring to the director's PA.

"Sure," Miray says with a little laugh and hugs him.

He eases back and looks up at her, his expression serious again. "It's not true, right, Mommy?"

The knot tightens a little tighter in her stomach and she knows he's back to his original question. She isn't sure what to say. She wishes Kubilay was here. Alihan will have to be told the truth eventually, but surely not yet, not like this. "Honey, your Daddy loves you more than anything. Nothing can ever change that. No matter what anyone says."

He seems satisfied with that answer, non-answer that it is.

"Is that why you ran away?" Miray asks him.

Alihan looks chastised then. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have but I didn't like them saying that. There were the other boys playing where they know they're not 'apposed to cause grownups always told them lotsa times. I felt mad though so I wanted to be naughty too. I fell. I promise I never do it again. Mommy! Not ever ever again!" He turns inward towards her and Miray pulls him into her arms as best she can with the tubes and IV.

"I know, sweetheart. I know. You're going to be okay now. I promise."

"Can I go home now?"

"It'll be a little while yet because you went through a very important operation and your body needs to heal. You still need to rest so you can get better, but I promise as soon as the doctor says so, we'll take you home."

Home, Miray suddenly thinks. Where was home now? Their marriage is over, regardless of what Kubilay says. Surely he doesn't think that Miray will be returning to their house as if nothing has happened? Yet, how can she take Alihan from the only home he has ever known after such a traumatic operation? Wouldn't it be better for Alihan to recover in the comfort of the things he knew?