Mine

Chapter Thirty Two

Stay with me, don't let me go, cause I can't be without you...

"No he's not," Alihan insists in innocent confusion. "You and my Mommy aren't married. Only Daddies can put their peepees in Mommies peepees."

Choking sounds come out in varying degrees from all three adults and no one looks at the little boy.

Boran and Kubilay's faces are varying shades of red and Miray knows her own face must fall somewhere in the spectrum but it's obvious it's left to her to address her little boy's logic. "So, you...um know about how babies are made, sweetie?" Miray tries to keep her voice even, without the slightest hint of judgement. She's read enough to know it's important to treat the moment without the slightest hint of shame or scolding so that her little boy doesn't shut himself off from her or feel like sex is a bad thing. She just never imagined they'd be addressing the topic at such an early age.

Alihan's own face turns the sweetest shade of pink, falling in between Kubilay and Boran's tinges as well. "Kadir and the others talk 'bout it. He knows lots of things cause he's eight." Alihan bit his lip and crooked his finger for her to come closer so he could whisper. "It sounds really gross but I guess it's grown up things mommies and daddies have to do like morjajes."

Miray blinks. "You mean mortgages?" she asked and Boran chokes on a laugh behind her, Kubilay choking in a similar manner in front of her.

Alihan nods. "I not looking forward to doing that at all. Not ever." He shakes his head vehemently and scrunches up his face in disgust. "Girls are gross."

Miray raises an eyebrow and he gives a little guilty start.

"Not you, Mommy. You're not a girl. You a grown up lady." He smiles at her. "So see? Uncle Bobo can't be my Daddy."

Miray tries to decipher the little boy's logic but it's giving her a headache so she just sighs. "Honey, he is your Daddy and he loves you very much. Sometimes..." Miray swallows nervously. "Grown ups love each other so much that they make love before they get married. Me and... Boran loved each other very much and so we made you. Boran wasn't able to take care of you-"

A snort comes from Kubilay and Miray glares at him. His judgement can fucking wait and has no place in this discussion, her eyes scream at him.

He gives her a quick tiny nod of acknowledgement but she sees no apology in his eyes. She supposes that's fair but Alihan is the priority so she focuses back on her son. "So Kubilay and I decided that we would get married and we'd take care of you until Boran could. Kubilay always loved you like a Daddy."

"And I always will," Kubilay is quick to pipe in.

Miray takes her little boy's hand and is encouraged when he squeezes it and looks past her to Boran.

"So Uncle Bobo' not my friend but my borned Daddy?"

Miray turns to Boran and presses him to take up part of the discussion.

He looks a little panicked but steps forward. "Y...yes, I am, but I will always be your friend too if you still want me to be." His eyes are full of such yearning and unease that Miray's heart breaks for him.

"Daddy is my friend too...I mean... this Daddy." Alihan points to Kubilay behind him.

"That doesn't have to change. Not ever," Boran insists his eyes moving briefly to Kubilay and Miray loves him so much in that moment she can't breathe.

Kubilay's eyes glisten with unshed tears. Alihan is the only one that can move him to expose the raw emotion he tries to hide. "I will always be here for you. I will always love you as my son and be your f...friend, but..." His face crumples just a little and Miray wishes they didn't all have to suffer so much pain to fight to be happy. "But you have to live with your mommy and da..." His jaw clenches a bit before he continues. "Boran. Who is the daddy that made you."

Alihan's eyes are wide with confusion and panic. He looks at Boran. "You made me?"

Boran nods slowly, not speaking.

"You love my mommy like my daddy...hmm..." He halts, catching himself with a little whimper. "Like this Daddy, loves my mommy?" He points at Kubilay.

Miray wants to correct that assumption. The way Boran loves her is so different, so much more real, more true than the thing she had tried to build with Kubilay. That won't help Alihan now though so she says nothing and watches Boran nod again.

"Mommy...I don't know what to do. I'm scared!" Alihan scrambles off Kubilay's lap and rushes into her arms, burying his face in her neck.

"I don't want Daddy to be mad at me. Neither one," he whispers, tears filling his eyes.

"I promise they won't. Either one. I swear." Miray kissed her son's face, wiping the tears. "You can still love Kubilay, but Boran loves you too and I know you love him as a friend. Maybe we can just spend some time together and you can learn how to love him as a daddy? There's no rush. I promise. Boran just wants a chance to be your daddy."

"I'd really like you to come home with me," Boran says softly, kneeling in front of Alihan.

"You should go," Kubilay says to Alihan. "Daddy means it when I..." He gives Miray a little start, apologetic at referring to himself as Alihan's father while they were trying to get the already confused boy to come back with them. "I will always be here for you but you should go home with your mommy and daddy. You can call me anytime. I'm here for you anytime. I promise."

Alihan looks between Boran and Kubilay and gives Boran his hand. Giving a little nod. "Okay. I go with you, Uncle Bo..." His tiny nose scrunches in dismay. "I mean..."

Boran squeezes his hand. "You don't have to call me Daddy until it feels okay for you. Whenever you're ready is all right with me."

"Hmm... maybe tomorrow," Alihan says, sliding off Miray's lap and standing with his hand in Boran's. "We can go now."