Delicious Rose

42

Rose

I watch the grey smoke leave my mouth and dance up into the bright blue sky, I feel physically sick. I have to leave the hotel in five minutes, I'm meeting Luca. Two long years, I know it's a bad idea but I need closure. As daft as that possibly sounds.
"You ready?" Darcy steps out onto the balcony, her auburn hair curled perfectly.

"Not at all." I laugh weakly, lifting the cigarette to my lips again. My nerves are driving me crazy, I have smoked at least ten cigarettes and its only twelve thirty. Leaning over the rails, I watch everyone enjoying the beaming sun.

"You look so good." Darcy speaks again, I look down at my legs. I decided on my high waisted light blue denim shorts and a black braless bodysuit that tucks into my shorts, I wiggle my toes as I look at my black sliders. I'm going to get some serious blisters today.

"I'm nervous." I whimper, my voice weak taking a look at my best friend. Her face full of sympathy, she knows how hard this is for me.

"I'm going to be very honest with you Rose-" She reaches over squeezing my hand resting on the balcony rail. I look up at her, anxious.

"Don't be mad ok, I like Jacob, he's good for you and he's sweet as anything, but-" She pauses. Do I want to hear this?

"Go on." I push at her, I need to know what she's thinking, I don't know what anyone really thinks about my relationship with him.

"But I believe seeing Luca here means something, it has too." She gives me a reassuring smile and I return one.

"Its New York, it doesn't surprise me he's here." I tell her, it doesn't mean anything. New York is a major city, I don't know why I never thought it before.

"I'm a big believer on this kind of thing, that's all I have to say. Do what's right for you." She smiles again, before leaving me outside alone. I put out my fag, straightening myself out again. Stepping into the cool hotel room, Chloe's applying her make up whilst Darcy's laying on her phone waiting.

"I'm going now, text me where you guys are and I'll come find you or something?" I suggest. Darcy nods her head.

"Goodluck, don't rush we have loads of time." Chloe walks over to me, I give her a weak smile.

"Be brave." Darcy smiles, I pick up my hand bag and stepping out of the room. Walking to the lift I contemplate turning back and leaving him hanging. I haven't told Jacob, I spoke to him this morning and I don't know how to break it to him.

Oh yeah, I saw Luca last night and I'm meeting him today to catch up. How would he react? I don't know, but I will tell him later.

Walking towards the bright red stairs, where I saw Luca with Kiara. Where everything came flooding back and now, I'm shitting myself, as I approach, I see him. Standing out like a sore thumb, his plain black t-shirt hugging in every muscle on his body. Black skinny jeans with rips in the knees and black combat boots, his sunglasses make him look mysterious and so god damn sexy.

I can't have thoughts like this anymore, he's not mine. Just don't look at him too much and you'll be fine. I tell myself, I know full well that it's almost impossible to ignore his gorgeous face. With each step I get closer to him, I know he's clocked on to me. Praying I don't do something stupid like tripping over my own feet, as my heart drums in my chest.

"I didn't know if you were going to show." Taking his sunglasses off, I take in a sharp breath, the sunlight beaming down onto his face. His eyes bright, almost completely clear. Jesus Christ this was a bad idea.

"I guess I needed my questions answered." I answer him finally. His lips form into a light smile as I stand there awkwardly, looking up at him.

"Did you want to go for lunch or something?" He asks, guiding me away from the steps. I follow him like a lost puppy, but I refuse to let him see me as lost. Especially now. I follow him in complete silence, not sure where we are heading but after at least ten minutes we stop outside a restaurant.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" He turns to face me. I nod my head, unsure why once again I'm doing this to myself. Maybe I should run now and forget it all. No, I need to do this for myself.