The unseen love

Introduction -> I Arthit Rojnapat

Flashbacks and Thoughts are in Italics

Grandma please could you come and help me? I called for her to come but no response came back. Granny, grandma, are you there? After a few moments i heard her coming. Even though this darkness constantly surrounds me i can hear much better, one of the silver linings of blindness i guess. I heard her walking walking slowly and carefully from the living room to the stairs and from the stairs to my chamber.

Are you alright dear, she spoke when coming in, you look pale. You had that nightmare again didn't you? Yes she is right but what can i do, at such moments I always lost the ability to talk however my face, as always, seemed to have spilled my thoughts as grandma seemed to get what happened which, honestly, wasn't that difficult if someone knew me but sadly nobody except her really did. My life was silent and in solitude, dark and at times melancholic. I had no friends, felt no love, did not have any caring parent since my mother died several years ago leaving me only with my father who was even more hateful towards me than ever before. It was only my grandmother who gave me the feeling that i really deserved to live but among others i always felt like a burden and they did not hesitate to confirm that feeling in every possible way. Their crude jokes at my expense, the sheer hatred I felt in their words, the blatant ignoring of me even when i was around made me feel depressed and unwanted. And as there had never been any real friends or people who took the effort to get to know me I shut myself of behind a large wall of formality, distance and coldness. And it all was because of me being something I couldn't change, something out of my power. All combined one could say I am an outcast.

I was interrupted in my train of thoughts when she came to sit aside me hand me a cup of thee while engulfing me in a soft by comforting hug asking me whether i was okay but I wasn't at all. Why grandma? Why me, don't they love me at all? I teared up on the inside very often but once the floodgates to the outside were open, which didn't happen that often, there was no way to hold it back. I hated being such a weakling during these moment but grandma always was there for me during such momenta showing her care and love. She alone really cared for me, she helped me with that I needed help with in the past. Just like when i wanted to go to highschool.

Flashback
After I finished primary school I wanted to go on and  go to highschool but my father just didn't see the use of it.
Whatever he wants is not important, the money we spend on him is just lost! my father had shouted while my mother softly said: isn't he still your son? at which my father shouted: a son he might be but a drain on my money he sure is. A wasted effort, he is blind! what use is it? he is destined to roam the streets begging and hoping for some kind of meal! why spend our money on a useless degree he won't ever be able to use?
From that point on i had to do it all on my own. I was very lucky that my grandma supported me and paid for the tuition while also taking me in after my mothers death but the thought of my fathers hatred did hurt immensely.

Mae, I cried why must everybody hate me? Am I that bad and useless? she silently comforted me listening to all i said before replying, son you are not bad, you are unique in all possible ways and you have a good heart but you are an easy target for people for their jokes and to make fun of, people don't understand the pain they inflict to others by their words and actions, but we must not forget the positive things in life Arthit, you are enrolled into college, finished highschool. Even though you might not see things doesn't mean you live in the dark, you can read, work and once you have your bachelor you can start your own company or business or try to get a job. So listen to me, you are not bad you are a great person you helped my seeing purpose again in life after your grandfather died at that time you were the one who took care of my back then now it's my turn to do the same for you as long is I possibly can. Now try go back to sleep a bit you need some rest dear.