The unseen love

Chapter I -> The cycle of history

Ouch,what the hell was laying there on the floor and where was i? i shook my head trying to clear my thinking before the blaring sound of the alarm cleared op the mist in my head, today university would start. The past days I had spent exploring the surrounding area and university campus. Grandma would leave tomorrow and by then I must know where to go around here. I sighed even though i was happy to go to the university it were unknown waters i would have to charter. The university had taken care of special books for me so that i could study them and i would follow a special curriculum which had been adjusted to accommodate my blindness.

It was lucky that grandma had stayed for several days. If she hadn't done so i would have surely lost my way in the city and i still struggled to find my way but yeah who wouldn't after living a whole life in a silent town. the never ending stream of people and vehicles in the streets was a whole new experience which I didn't like at all But i would just have to learn how to deal with. Nobody had said it would be easy to do this but at least I wouldn't be alone, i hoped.
When i was admitted the paper had said that I would have to share my dorm with a roommate but until now nobody had showed up even though most of the others on my floor had already moved in. I had already met some of them and even though they were quite friendly i could tell they were pitying me and if there was one thing i hated it was being pitied. I wasn't weaker or per definition less smart of capable than other people and my life was unique in its own ways other people wouldn't ever be able too imagine. And while their pity might stem from a good heart it didn't help me a bit and neither did i like it.

The pitying of others usually made me feel vulnerable which was exactly the feeling i wanted to escape. I couldn't risk losing my confidence right now. I needed every ounce of it to turn this opportunity into a success and dealing with my fears wasn't really on my wishlist right now.

As the days went by my roommate didn't turn up and grandma had gone home again. Even on the day of my first lecture my roommate still hadn't come at which i felt a bit dejected as i didn't like being alone at all. I liked talking to people or just being around them, it would give me some happiness in my life and honestly that was something i craved for. But he likely wouldn't come anymore cause who would move in days after the course had started already? i had prayed to God for a good roommate so that there would be someone i could talk with but it seemed my prayer, as all the others, had been in vain.

The ride to the campus was a nightmare, I bumped into people and nearly missed my stop. so when i entered the auditorium i was completely exhausted. I slowly moved inside when suddenly someone asked which row I'd like to sit, i turned around trying to find where it came from  walking towards it when it spoke again you are Arthit aren't you, i am the ajahn for this subject. He brought me to the first row before walking away after saying that i should feel free to ask any questions.

So here i was, sitting in my first lecture, who would have thought that i could make it this far, my mom would be certainly have been proud of and i felt that i could finally prove to my father that i was capable of at least doing something. Suddenly i was rudely disturbed, i felt a blow to my shoulder, hey dreamer why don't you move a few seats? Can't you see we'd like to sit here as well? Didn't they see my white cane? I slowly stood up moving a few seats and asking them how many seats i should move? 7. I started counting while slowly moving along the seats but after the sixth one i suddenly felt nothing and i felt to the floor as the row ended and i misstept at the short stair at the end leading to me to tumble down with their laughter resonating in my ears. good start Arthit, very good start was all i could think. i stood up and took my place but i felt terrible, it was only the first day and it seemed as if history was already repeating itself, maybe it was just my destiny to be hated and alone, who knew.....