Fundamentals of Insanity

Affection deficit

Now this is a questionable topic,the topic that tackles love relationships of all kinds.Be it family,be it marriage or just dating,be it siblings.See love is one of those aspects that's somewhat easy to attain,but also capable of causing remarkable pain.It thrives off of emotions,whether negative or positive and compartmentalizes itself within the different faculties that are your relationships.It is a wonderful,beautiful emotion but yet so unbearably complicated at times.Sometimes it forms from the most simplest of occurrences and sometimes it rises from the unexpected.The heart has a mind of it's own,it holds no conference with the mind and neither accommodates the minds sound council.It desires what is desires and despises what it despises.It is hard to reconcile the minds decisions with the hearts,because both will always remain disagreeable enemies,never to meet at a common ground.So to what do we owe the altercation of love and sorrow.Let us begin shall we...

As I mentioned before love is a beautiful emotional,but also a very risky emotion to feel,I feel that it leaves one vulnerable and exposed to loves master.Much to my chagrin I have a high tolerance of love,even for those that hurt me,use me and emotionally strain me.A siblings love is one that grows out of purity and general instinct to protect the other and so does the love of your parents.For unprecedented reasons they tend to become estranged amongst one another.Your love for your parents and siblings obviously would stretch to unreachable limits because it is simply within you.Your natural instincts to love,protect and preserve ones own is instilled from birth,it is within you.Life can distance you far and wide but blood will always link together.Nothing can change that.A miniscule argument can lead to such distance,betrayal,dishonesty and even abandonment causes immense agony.Why?Because your love for them causes that agony,loving someone gives them the upper hand and the ability to hurt you.Romantic relationships are more or less the same but from a different angle it has the capacity to break us.Love is not just a four letter word.A words worth and capacity is not determined by it's length but for it's ability to project a deep meaning or invoke thoughts.A simple word such as love can be projected in a positive and negative way.People have a way of using love as a manipulative measure to control and distort ones actions and words but it can also be projected in the most beautiful way possible.

The lack of love and affection leads to heartache that some of us never truly recover from.Of course love is the easiest way to reel in people's emotions and then thereafter portray their true selves when it's already too late,because....you took the bait.Now I am mainly referring to relationships such as marriage or dating.Of course,love is said to be found in a partners compatibility,you seek comfort and support through dark times,you mainly seek compatibility.
Common grounding,common interests,common mindsets.Personally speaking I just sought consideration,I sought comfort and selflessness in the significant other.We often find that true colours are only displayed after marriage or after commiting to a relationship,then you discover the multiple dualities that partners display,and by then it is too late to decide that you don't like it.Like it or not,you took the bait and have to tolerate any nuances or conflicting parts of your partner that you do not like.What occurs thereafter is neglection.Neglection of the relationship,and loss of interest.Love isn't always roses,but actually embedded with multiple thorns of which tend to lead to heartache.Just as the beauty of the rose distracts you from the inevitable prick of the thorn.What I truly despise is inequality within relationships.One cannot always be the one giving love,attention,affection and yes finance.One cannot be giving their all for a miniscule nothing.I also despise manipulation of any kind.Trying to control and distort ones actions using emotional tactics disgusts me.You have to invest so much effort,time,love,and energy into relationships of any kind.When you are in a toxic or somewhat conflicting relationship with family,spouses or friends but they hold significant space in your heart then you need to sit down,and ask yourself three questions:How does the relationship and the people within the said relationship make you feel?What are the problems you are facing with regards to the relationship? Is the relationship worth working on,can it be fixed? If the answers to all questions are mainly negative answers then you have to extricate yourself from the relationship and the toxic situation.Staying and continuing to remain will only deplete yourself of your energy, your happiness and your mental state of mind.

Another point to remember is that your happiness and self worth should be measured by the amount of love or affection others give to.You must love yourself before you can even begin to love another person.Of course ,nobody wants to feel unloved or as if they aren't worthy of love but at the same time ,it must not devalue them in any way if they aren't receiving love from friends or family.I spent my entire life wishing my mother would show me some sort of love and affection,even my aunt and uncle were distant and horribly judgmental and yet all I sought was their love and approval,or even a bit of acknowledgement.I learnt much later on in life that their approval and Their love were only instruments used to convince myself that it is the sole requirements for my validation.
The basis of my happiness is not dependant on whether or not I am loved by others or my love for others.