Fundamentals of Insanity

The Decaying family tree

Who of us has not spent our child-hoods and early 20's watching sitcoms and movies that portrayed seemingly unbreakable family bonds.They portrayed parents whose children were able to be open with them,to follow their dreams and goals.They could make hoards of mistakes and their parents would salvage the situation and make it into a learning experience for their kids.It also portrayed families who hardly ever fought and when they did,it was a laughable ensemble of events.Christmas's and birthdays were celebrated and the families depicted were truly unified during these times.What it didn't portray however,was the ugly parts of being apart of a family and how truly rocky it is.People often compare families amongst one another and the differences that range from generation to generation.Maybe parents were a lot more approachable back then or maybe parents were a lot more stricter.The behavioural differences in families are complex as it is fluctuating.What a lot of people don't understand is that these movies or sitcoms etc...that you are watching are all purely fictitious displays of affection and family ties because it's to leave to the imagination a sort of peace and tranquility amongst ones relatives so that we forget or escape the reality of our own scattered and distant relationships with our family and parents.Growing up in dysfunctional families who display an inability to co-exist or even relate to one another causes the children and teenagers to grow up with very scarred and traumatized mindsets.

My story stems from childhood experiences following the death of my father.Of course being a young six-year old I was strangely fully able to comprehend the loss of my father and felt every bit of bitterness and sadness that was affiliated with his passing.I felt his absence and although I still had one surviving parent,I haven't up until now recovered from it.For me it was losing my protector and gate keeper from the big bad,horrid world.What I was left with was an overbearing family and an uninterested mother which led me to make horrible mistakes in my life that I truly regret.It's safe to say that they are mostly responsible for some of my mental health issues.Growing up I was constantly under scrutiny by my family,who never spoke properly to me,who until now control and facilitate my every move,even when it comes to life changing decisions.My mother was and still is a very detached person,detached from everything except the extravagant,wealthy lifestyle.She was obsessive over materialistic things and well.....money.She had 3 children,all of us are scattered all over the place and she basically had no plan for us nor any incentive for us to study or have a future for ourselves.Her mindset was,go to school,then work till you die.Emotionally I was unable to depend on my mother or any of my family members.We became very poor after my father died,I was a young girl and basically I don't have any fond memories of my mother or relatives,my happiest moments were with my father.Having no emotional support and backing left me alone and destitute,leaving me to go down all the wrong,horrific paths which has all in all,completely destroyed me.Now this writing piece isn't to disrespect my family,it's to illustrate my point that sometimes your family are your worst enemies.There is nothing worse then the feeling of abandonment especially from your family members,you develop a sort of distrust in human nature because you feel that your own blood could not stand by your side at your worst.

See every family has a hierarchy and a peasantry.Those that did well for themselves and those that well....remained paupers and money is one of the main dividers of family.I mentioned before in one of my chapters that I was Indian and of course the Indian community has several standards of which children and teenagers are expected to meet,not to mention the standards you are expected to meet as an adult.Everything we do affects our families reputation and any illicit act according to them puts them to shame and they become an object of degradation.Need I say more?The pressure is on so to speak.I am sure this is a stigma for many other cultures as well.Now I don't mean to make generalizations based on cultural backgrounds but this is a commonality amongst Indians.Education for example is one of them,the children of different families are constantly compared to one another and in this department,it is the most evident from of degradation.Not every child is an Einstein,yet they are constantly being pressurized to do well in school,of course education is severely important however if a child is not fairing well in school despite their efforts then could it be that perhaps the child does not have a knack for learning or maybe they are slower then other children.This shouldn't mean that they must become a subject of constant insult and degrading.