Diary of A Gay Black Teen (boyxboy)

All For Nothing

(Saturday) I'm so happy I'm getting my box braids in my Mohawk today. The girl that was doing my hair lived five blocks over from my street so I took a quick shower and put on my black Adidas with my black shirt and top to match. Everybody in the house was sleep and my mama was still at work. When I walked into Meeka house her nigga got up like he was about to beat my a**  “Who is this?” “Get yo jealous a** on some where Tre is gay.” Was it that obvious. It took her a hour to do my hair. I had been saving up fifty dollars since the beginning of the school year and I finally got it but luckily she charged me twenty five cause she knew me and it didn't take that long. I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I thought I was the s**t. I let my red but mostly black box braids sit in the front of my face to hide the sides that I was planning on getting a design on.

(Five hours later)

I stayed over Meeka's house doing nothing but watching TV while waiting on her to take me to the nail shop. I had never gotten my nails done so I was happy just thinking about it. When we finally got there I didn't know nothing. “What you getting?” Meeka asked “I don't know.” “Give me the normal and do him the same” “What color would you like?” I didn't understand nothing these Chinese people were saying. “Huh” “What  color  you  like?” I will smack the s**t out this lady while she talking to me in a slow pace like the I'm slow “I  want this  color.” I talked to her the same way and she act like she didn't understand me “This  It” She did the s**t again, if I said that was the f*****g color why this b***h ask me again.“Yeah” I yelled and all eyes was on me. It took her forever to do my nails but it was worth it because I couldn't stop smiling. After eight minutes of letting them dry I really thought I was the s**t but wait till the folks at school see me. I'm loving this but not that price, twenty dollars now all I had was five dollars. After coming from the nail shop we got some Mac Donalds then Meeka dropped me off at home. “Bye Meeka” “Alright Tre” I walked in the house hoping my brother wasn't home.“Tre is that you!” Teranie asked“Yeah its me” I pointed to myself knowing I was the s**t. “You got yo nails done cut up then.” Mya said “Turn up then” Kya joined in.

My mama walked in the living room while I was sitting on the couch with my head down. “Why you got yo head down for, cause you don't want me to see these nails?” She raised my hands closer to her eyes “No Ma” “How you get yo nails done, Meeka?” “Yes Mam” I always said that when I thought I was in trouble. “So she did yo hair for free and got yo nails done.” “Yes Mam” I was lying my a** off. “They cute but don't make this s**t no habit you ain't grown.” That was her favorite thing to say You Ain't Grown “Yes Mam” I was still shocked she didn't smack my a** or punch me in the chest like she always do. But one thing about my mama she may yell at me but she don't judge me or criticize me. I went upstairs to change into my jean shorts and sleeveless jean buttoned down shirt with my white forces. I know you didn't think I was getting my hair done for nothing, I was going to my cousin Shana eighteenth birthday party and I couldn't wait to go. I knew some fine niggas was gone be there. My mama was gone drop us off at nine. I walked to the store to buy a drink for my mama.

When I came back Trevon a** was sitting on the porch with all his lil friends. I pushed my hair in front of my face thinking his a** wouldn't say none but that s**t didn't work.“What the h**l!” Trevon jumped up instantly, I hadn't even made it up the stairs yet. “You want me to beat yo a**?” “Move” I said scared as h**l but ready to swing on his a** He got all up in my face punching his fist in his hand every time he said a word. “If you don't take this s**t out yo head and them f*****g nails, I'm gone kill yo faggot a**” “Yo b***h a** ain't gone do none.” I continued walking and for the second time he put his hands on me. He ran me into the storm door choking the s**t out of me, making me drop the drink. This the time I hated being short, I was a midget compared to his tall lanky a** “I cant breath.” I tried to say. Trevon slung me, making me fall off the steps onto the ground. I was ready to fight now but I just laid there for a minute feeling the tears coming. Trevon sat back down, I guess he thought he did some.

“Like I said take that s**t out yo head, take then f*****g nails off, and take them short a** shorts off.” I finally got up to go in the house and Trevon threw his gym shorts on me. “You better put them on too.” This nigga was crazy if he thought I was gone put on his dirty a** gym shorts. I rolled my eyes and walked into the house. “What took you so long.” My mama asked when I walked in the kitchen. “It was a long line Ma” I could of snitched but I ain't no snitch and she probably would of never believed me until she saw it. Trevon had me messed up. I bet he wouldn't do that s**t around mama with his shaky a**. I was under mama like glue until she went to take a shower and I didn't see Trevon or his friends on the porch so I dozed off on the couch.

I woke up and this crazy nigga was standing in front of me. I jumped up just to make sure this wasn't a nightmare. He grabbed a handful of my braids and tossed me. Slinging me all the d**n time must made him feel some type of way and I hoped this punch did too. I didn't care no more, I was tired of his s**t so I just swung at his a**. He hardly even moved, this was the moment I felt like I was gone die. I ain't never got my a** beat. He punched me when I was up and kicked me when I was down. I tried my hardest to fight back but I know my licks were like feeling a breeze to him. Tears covered my face but when I saw blood I knew I was dying. For every punch he carved into my face, I regretted hitting this psycho. I  even started regretting coming out, while telling him s**t like I'm not gay before he leaned his arm back and punched me again. My braids were slipping out and my nails were popping off. My mama ran downstairs after hearing the racket. I wish my sisters would of did the same, they run to everything else. She looked like she just jumped out the tub, her towel was wrapped around her. She tried to push Trevon off of me but it was a shock and a waist cause he pushed her a** too.  “Nigga you got me f*****d up.” She was mad as h**l. She ran upstairs while trying to keep her towel on her body. He was talking plenty of the s**t while he tried to take my pants and shirt off. But I'm The Faggot. “You wanna act like a b***h, I'm gone treat you like one.”  “F**k you.” I said as I spit out a mouth full of blood onto his face while he was bent over struggling trying to get the clothes off of me I refused to take off.

Before he could even hit me again my mama was downstairs and had knocked Trevon upside the head with her glock. He held his head after falling to the floor. She still held the gun towards Trevon and I wanted her to shoot him so bad. I wanted him to hurt like I was. “Get yo a** out my motherf*****g house.” He got up like he was bad. “So you gone do me like this?” He held his hand up to chest while still holding his head. She started walking closer to Trevon.  “You put yo hands on yo mama but I'm doing you wrong, you need to be on yo knees thanking the lord that I didn't do more than smack yo a** upside the head with this gun.” “I'm sorry Ma.” “Yeah I know now get yo sorry a** out my f*****g house.” “Alright well let me get my stuff.” “H**l No” “Mane I'm about get my stuff.” Trevon mumbled. “I wish you would pass me, don't let mama fool you cause I'll be a stranger to you in a second.” “Mane you petty.” Trevon said as he walked out the door. “I love you too.” I just laid on the floor because my body felt weak as h**l, only if could go back and be the s**t again. My mama helped me unto the couch and wiped the many bruises that had appeared on my face. My face was already fat, I know I looked like a blow fish by the head now. It hurt to blink my eye, the other eye wouldn't open and me crying made it even worse cause the tears stung my face.

“Stop all that f*****g crying.” My mama said. “If you fighting this nigga or any other nigga and you know you cant beat they a** you better pick up something around you and hit they a** with it.” That's why she ran upstairs and grabbed her gun. But she was right but I was on the ground the whole time, what I'm gone grab. All my sisters walked in while I was sitting here mad thinking they a** was upstairs. “D**n” The twins said. I just held my head down“Omg what happened” Teranie said and Camry just stood there with her mouth open in shock. I was gone say some but when I open my mouth it even hurt. “Him and Trevon got into a fight.” I wanted to say that wasn't no fight, that nigga wasn't hurt

I Am I just shook my head instead but I still hurt. “What you do to him.” The twins tried to ask at the same time. I didn't say nothing, I mean what the f**k I didn't have to do to make him put his hands on me.

I ain't never hated nobody the way I hated him and then it's sad cause no matter if I'm gay or straight, I still deserve to be loved and I'm only human. Minutes later the twins left to go to Shana's birthday party. I was mad cause I did all this for nothing. I looked like s**t now. I didn't need no mirror to know what I looked like cause I knew it. So I just laid on the couch the whole night, hoping that tomorrow would be a whole lot better than today.