Make Me Perfect

Chapter 15 - The Easier Way

NOTE: PEYTON'S BROTHER PRESTON'S AGE WAS  CHANGED! I CHANGED IT IN THE FIRST FEW CHAPTERS BUT HE IS NO LONGER SEVEN! IN THIS CHAPTER YOU WILL SEE HE IS TEN! THAT IS NOT A MISTAKE!!! I HAD TO CHANGE IT FOR THE FUTURE OF THE STORY! SORRY FOR ANY CONFUSION!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stared in disbelief, no words coming from my mouth. I shook my head, reaching for my bag and rummaging through it until I found the blue folder Officer Peck had given me. I flipped open the first page, glancing over the hospital report. I shook my head, whispering the word no over and over as I turned over page after page. Through blurry eyes I only made out a few words from each page, but that was enough.

Lung cancer.. Diagnosed November, 2006.. Doctor Drake Nesly.. Nurse Andrea Weston.. Death expected September, 2007.. Deceased April, 2007..

I slammed the folder down on the table, propping my head up with my elbows. I covered my face with my hands, mumbling against them the only words I could manage, "Why did he commit suicide then?"

I heard Andrea sigh, but I didn't dare look up. She licked her lips, "Your father was going to be hospital ridden at the end of June, and was expected to die the following September." She shrugged, "Your mother and the police figured he didn't want you guys to watch him struggle until he died, that this was faster."

I blinked, looking up as the flashbacks returned. One of the last things he said to me:

I know you don't understand.. But it's easier this way.

I shook my head and stood up. I dropped a five dollar bill on the table and slung my bag over my shoulder. "Thankyou," I whispered, scooping the blue folder off the table.

"Peyton," Andrea whispered, a nagging tone in her voice.

I ignored her and spun around towards the exit. I stormed through the door and hopped into my mercedes. I drove along the road towards my house, slamming the gear shift into park before climbing out of my car. I didn't dare look at Aiden's house, just stomped into my home. "Peyton," my mother called, "Aiden came over a few minutes ago and told me what happened. Are you alright?"

"Terrific," I mumbled as I stomped up the stairs.

"Peyton!" she yelled, "Why were you at the police station?"

I stopped, leaning on the stairwell rail, "Just had a few questions to ask the officers. Just a bad accident, it's fine."

"Peyton, I'm tired of being in the dark. Why were you there!"

I spun around, tears flooding down my cheeks. "Now you're tired of it?" I scoffed, "Let's relieve the last five years, shall we?" I leaned against the wall, putting a finger to my chin as if I was deep in thought, "The first year I didn't say a word to anyone, and after all the talks you gave me I still thought life had no point. That's right, at eleven years old. Then the next two years," I held up the number three on my hand, "I decided to give life another shot, to pretend it could be fixed." I looked down, dropping my hand, "Then as of last year I realized something."

My mother stared at me in disbelief, and I shook my head, "Life is bullshit." My mom gasped, but I continued talking, "And that there's no point in living if you can't make a difference. Dad made a difference to me, and when that was taken away I had nothing! So don't act like you're in the dark now!" I screamed.

I turned around and began stomping up the stairs again when my mother shouted after me, "Peyton! Life is never over if you have a choice!"

I scoffed, turning back to her, "Unless you have lung cancer, right?" I jumped up the last few steps, ignoring the sound of distant sobbing coming from my mother down the stairs. I pulled out the folder, my cheeks tear stained and my eyes red.

"What's that?"

I looked up to see my four year old sister standing in my doorway, her blonde curls done up into pigtails. Her bright blue eyes stared at the folder in my hand. I pressed my lips together, placing the folder down on the bed.

"Come here," I said, gesturing for Pamela to come to me. She hestiantly did so, but eventually climbed up onto my lap.

I wrapped my right arm around her small stomach and picked up a photo frame off my desk with my other hand. I held it up for Pamela to see, "That is your father," I whispered.

Pamela nodded, grabbing the frame from my hand, "Mommy never talks about him."

I smiled, "That's because she loved him very much. It's painful to talk about something you no longer have, especially if you miss it a whole lot."

Pamela wrinkled her nose, and suddenly her eyes seemed to light up, "Like when my teddy bear's head ripped off and mommy had to toss it away?"

I laughed a little, "Yes, exactly like that."

Pamela handed me back the frame and stared down at her chubby fingers, "Do you miss him?"

I shrugged, hugging my sister close to me, "I don't know what I miss more, the past with him or the future we could've had."

Pamela played with her fingers, "What does that mean?"

I smiled, kissing her cheek softly, "You'll understand it someday." I set her down and watched as she ran towards the door.

She turned back around and cocked her head to the side, "Will I meet daddy someday?"

I grinned, staring down at the photo frame in my hand, "Maybe in hell," I whispered.

I heard my sister rocking back and forth on her heels, almost as if debating whether or not to ask what hell was. "I look forward to it," she said instead and rushed off down the hallway. I stiffled a laugh, running my hand over the picture of my father.

"You know she's going to repeat that to mom, right?"

I looked up, startled by the voice. I rolled my eyes as Preston walked into the room. For being ten, he was one smart kid.

I smiled, "And what do you know about Hell, Preston?"

"I know that dad always used to say he was going there," he said with a shrug.

I rasied an eyebrow, "You were only five when he died, how can you possibly remember that?"

Preston sat down beside me on the bed, "I'm a smart kid."

I laughed, "Yes, indeed you are."

"Someday we'll go there to see him, Peyton," he reassured me.

I grinned, placing the picture back down on my desk, "I know."

"Well, I know you will," he said with a grin, "I still have a chance of going to heaven."

I gawked at him, pushing him down on the bed, "Is that so?" I asked, pinning him against my mattress.

He giggled, "That's so!"

"You're going to regret those words!" I yelled as I tickled his sides. He laughed, kicking me away as I jabbed my fingers into his sides. He cried out in giggles, attempting to shove me off. "Take it back!" I shouted with a smile as I held his two small arms in one hand as I used my other to tickle his legs.

"I hate being your brother!" he said with a shriek and a laugh.

"Someday you can beat me," I said playfully, still poking underneath his arms.

He pushed me off and began to gasp for breath as I let him go, "That day better come soon," he said as he stuck his tongue out. Preston leaped off the bed and raced from my room, but not before putting his thumb on his nose and waving his fingers at me with his tongue out.

"Mature!" I yelled with a laugh as I rolled my eyes. I fell backwards onto my bed, letting out a final sigh.

Alone at last.

If only my mother wasn't still crying downstairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short chapter!!! Dedicated to a great fan!!! Vote, comment, fan?

Question: Do you think her mother will tell her what happened?